Need to move on or get her back

[dreameater]

Gonna make it short. I am the dumper... We dated for months, then whatever the reason, I dumped her. She tried to get back with me last year and I ignored. One year has passed, I did not date anyonr else as she was always in my mind. I am fully healed from my 1st relationship and ready to date her back, but realized that she has a boyfriend now. I am fully compatible with her and the reason to get her back is because I love her, and not to win myself - took me two weeks of no sleep to think about this and I am being serious with her.

 

She read all the message I left for her in her Messenger on how I missed her every moment and feel miserable and wish her happy with her new love.

 

GETTING HER BACK (she is with someone):

From this time it is 15 days NC.

 

Her BD is in one month... Should I just send her a last message wishing her happy birthday to let her know that I am still here to care her and be her support and apologize for what I did previously and ask her for forgiveness, then go NC for real?

 

I am the dumper, so if I wrote her and apologize the complete180: I am really sorry......... As stated in the guide.

 

Will this approach work?

 

 

NOT GETTING HER BACK:

 

I loved her very much, but does not need to possess her. I am happy to see her happy with her new love one. What I want to hear from her is she forgive me for what I did and she is happy with her current relationship. That's it!

 

Should I find her number via friend's contact and call her directly to find out what's going on and to have her forgive me so I can move on?

 

What do you think?

Edited February 19, 2017 by dreameater
Adding elements

[d0nnivain]

Leave her alone. You barely know your own mind & you are being selfish to think that now that you got your head out of your <bleep> she should be sooooo happy that the guy who broke her heart over a year ago for "whatever reason" is back & still wants her.

 

 

She has a BF. Only a really insensitive person would even attempt to throw a monkey wrench into her life at this point. Don't be that guy.

 

 

Own the fact that you screwed this up. Be more mindful, deliberate, caring & sensitive in your next relationship.

[ExpatInItaly]

Don't bother, OP.

 

She has already moved on, and it's very inappropriate for you to try to wedge yourself in there now that it suits you.

 

You had your chance.

[Lostandconfused12]

Think of all the pain you caused her. The sleepless nights she had when you told her she wasn't good enough. Why would she want you back? If you really loved her you would let her be happy. Stop contacting her. If she feels she wants to talk to you she will reach out. But you let her go. You made your bed. NOW SLEEP IN IT.

[kztar]

OP please leave her alone. One year ago you decided that she wasn't good enough for you.

 

I suggest you are more mindful in your next relationships.

 

I agree with the poster above. Think of all the pain you've caused her and of you really love her just be happy that now she is no longer in that agony and she is genuinely happy. It takes ALOT to get there after being dumped.

[dreameater]

I couldnt hold myself so I send her a message to apologize and ask a 2nd chance... She read it, but never reply.

 

I think you guys are right... Loving someone does not need to possess that person. Seeing them happy is what it counts.

 

My big mistake was not to accept that reconciliation she offered at that time...

 

It is hard to cope but I guess I have no choice...

 

I wasted 3 years waiting for my 1st ex and she ended up happy with her lover and has a daughter now. She does not even give a heck on me. All of that time wasted when I could just go out and find the one that really love me...

 

I am all wrong.....