StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 (edited) I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great. We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other’s families, have them on Facebook and I’m so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn’t. He’s also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great. He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I’m well and he loves me. That’s the last I’ve heard from him. He hasn’t been as active on Facebook as much either. I’ve sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and I text him to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn’t watch anything while he was. I don’t know why he’s being like this and I know I’m probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else’s opinion. I’m just scared of history repeating itself because my ex started doing this to the point we broke up. I know we’ve moved so fast but it felt right. We both agreed on that. I just feel so silly being worried already. I was chatting to his mum on Facebook last night and thanked her having me down over New Years. She said no problem and told me she asked my BF was he coming down this weekend and he just said not sure. I tried to ring him a couple of times last night and no answer. I'm still on his Facebook in a relationship but still no word from him. Edited January 6, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Either he is really sick or he is having second thoughts about being in a relationship. Whatever it is he knows he can't keep doing this forever. I'm sure he will contact you this weekend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Either he is really sick or he is having second thoughts about being in a relationship. Whatever it is he knows he can't keep doing this forever. I'm sure he will contact you this weekend. His mum said he's feeling better. I am wondering whether we've moved too fast. My plan is to wait the weekend is out and then text him about getting some of my clothes from his. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 You met early December and already have exchanged I love yous? Ok, slow the horse down. There is no way you two can possibly know if you are in love. Dinner with family at Christmas etc, it is pretty quick to do all this after only three weeks. He may be really sick or he may just be feeling overwhelmed. I would just sit back for a few days and see if he gets in touch. If he doesn't, then I am sorry but it looks like he is ghosting you. Do not reach out to him at this point. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 You met early December and already have exchanged I love yous? Ok, slow the horse down. There is no way you two can possibly know if you are in love. Dinner with family at Christmas etc, it is pretty quick to do all this after only three weeks. He may be really sick or he may just be feeling overwhelmed. I would just sit back for a few days and see if he gets in touch. If he doesn't, then I am sorry but it looks like he is ghosting you. Do not reach out to him at this point. Exactly what I was going to say! At this rate, I'm not at all surprised he's taken some time out to re-balance. Just reading your description of how fast things were progressing made me feel overwhelmed! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Exactly what I was going to say! At this rate, I'm not at all surprised he's taken some time out to re-balance. Just reading your description of how fast things were progressing made me feel overwhelmed! It did go so so fast! Even I was panicking a bit! I'm still friends with him on Facebook and the status is still up but no contact. I was going to leave it till Sunday and then tell him I'm visiting my sister (who lives nearby) and ask him can I collect some of my things from his. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 change your password to your netflix--- I'll bet he figures out your phone number then. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Why do people put up facebook relationship statuses anyway? Why does anyone else in the world need to be involved in the relationship or dissolution of it? I feel like it puts so much pressure on the relationship. That being said, you guys have put a lot of pressure on each other and the label from the start. Slow down. Most likely, he's overwhelmed. May I ask how old you guys are? Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Why do people put up facebook relationship statuses anyway? Why does anyone else in the world need to be involved in the relationship or dissolution of it? I feel like it puts so much pressure on the relationship. That being said, you guys have put a lot of pressure on each other and the label from the start. Slow down. Most likely, he's overwhelmed. May I ask how old you guys are? I'm 26 and he's 29. It was very fast but it was his idea and I didn't mind because things were going so great! I was overwhelmed too but surely you would still reply to someone and not deliberately not read their messages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Within 1 month you met, visited family, got into a FB relationship and exchanged ILY. He is simply having an indigestion....of you. You don't rush a relationship like this it's going to turn sour and fast. I love chocolate but if I eat a whole box in one hour I will suddenly feel sick and hate it. That's what is happening to him. Let him be. He needs to feel like chocolate again to appreciate it. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 I'm 26 and he's 29. It was very fast but it was his idea and I didn't mind because things were going so great! I was overwhelmed too but surely you would still reply to someone and not deliberately not read their messages. You went along out of inexperience. Men are different than us. When they like a woman they want to see her and be with her all of the time. They don't ask themselves if it's too much or not, they live in the moment that is why many men will come strongly like this and disappear after 1 month. Your story is a common story on here. If someone wants to drive 150km/h you don't have to get in the car with them. You ask them to take a walk with you and you date step by step. What is done is done. You now leave this guy alone. No more messages. He needs to miss you. If he doesn't get back to you just remember this lesson. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 You went along out of inexperience. Men are different than us. When they like a woman they want to see her and be with her all of the time. They don't ask themselves if it's too much or not, they live in the moment that is why many men will come strongly like this and disappear after 1 month. Your story is a common story on here. If someone wants to drive 150km/h you don't have to get in the car with them. You ask them to take a walk with you and you date step by step. What is done is done. You now leave this guy alone. No more messages. He needs to miss you. If he doesn't get back to you just remember this lesson. I'm just leaving him be and letting him miss me (hopefully)! We got on so well people actually thought we had been together longer than a month. It all seemed fine to me. He kissed me goodbye on Monday when I went home said I love you and text me on Tuesday as normal and nothing since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Within 1 month you met, visited family, got into a FB relationship and exchanged ILY. He is simply having an indigestion....of you. You don't rush a relationship like this it's going to turn sour and fast. I love chocolate but if I eat a whole box in one hour I will suddenly feel sick and hate it. That's what is happening to him. Let him be. He needs to feel like chocolate again to appreciate it. I thought he maybe just needs some space to miss me. I'm hoping so anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 My boyfriend had been deliberately not reading my texts or taking my calls since Tuesday now and I'm wondering if he's ghosting me? He is still on my Facebook and we are still in a relationship status. I just haven't had any contact. I was talking to his mum yesterday to thank her for having me down for New Years and she mentioned she had asked him would he be down this weekend to see me and he said "I'm not sure" We have been going out a little over a month, met each other's families and he told me he loved me. Very fast I know, but it felt right. My question really is, if he was ghosting me would he take me off Facebook etc? And my family too? Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 No...my ex bf ghosted me at first and didnt delete me from anything. I think you got answers in your other thread that also apply here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 I think unless he were in the hospital in a coma, if he wanted to he'd have contacted you back by now. I am sorry. A month isn't a very long time. Maybe he is just finding out he doesn't feel you're a match. If he does contact you he may have a good story, but honestly, if you've been talking to his mother, surely she'd have mentioned anything extraordinarily dire coming up in his life. I think he's just not very interested. Personally, I'd not be exclusive (at the very least) and I would be keeping my eyes out for new possibilities. That's just me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 I had a guy ghost me and not delete me off social media. I had to delete him. Guys don't put as much thought into that stuff like females do. Also, a red flag is moving that quickly. Because just as fast as certain guys blow hot, they equally blow cold. Rushing out of the gate is never a great sign. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 No...my ex bf ghosted me at first and didnt delete me from anything. I think you got answers in your other thread that also apply here. He has deleted other exes from Facebook so I just assumed he would do the same with me Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 He has deleted other exes from Facebook so I just assumed he would do the same with me Never assume and never try and understand someones motives on social media...they are never what we think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 Never assume and never try and understand someones motives on social media...they are never what we think. We met each other's families, spent xmas with each other, it was going fantastic! Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 We met each other's families, spent xmas with each other, it was going fantastic! Too much, too soon. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 We met each other's families, spent xmas with each other, it was going fantastic! I'll bet his family said something to him about the appropriateness of bringing you to christmas festivities with them--they may have acted graciously because you were a visitor to their home, but that doesn't mean that they are truly accepting of this whirlwind romance he brought to their door. Meanwhile, they're all sitting up enjoying your netflix--have you changed your password yet? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarGirl17 Posted January 6, 2017 Author Share Posted January 6, 2017 I'll bet his family said something to him about the appropriateness of bringing you to christmas festivities with them--they may have acted graciously because you were a visitor to their home, but that doesn't mean that they are truly accepting of this whirlwind romance he brought to their door. Meanwhile, they're all sitting up enjoying your netflix--have you changed your password yet? His mum actually invited me down and we had drinks together and things. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 His mum actually invited me down and we had drinks together and things. doesn't mean she likes you. 3rd time asking: have you changed your netflix password yet? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 I'll just call a spade a spade, this is a classic ghosting story I've been there, lots of us on here have...it doesnt feel good but ghosting/fading is so common these days in the dating world I think you need to reign yourself in at the moment, I know you feel like you just spent a lifetime with this guy but you only knew him for a month. Tbh, you didnt even really know who he was. I had a whirlwind romance back in Feburary, it moved so fast, we were with each other night and day...then he just pulled the plug...I was in shock but I did what everyone needs to do in these situations which is, hold your own, do not accept breadcrumbs or pleads to take him back (if it gets to that), have respect for yourself and your standards/boundaries (do you really want a bf that just drops off the face of the earth while enjoying your netflix???), take your power back by drawing a line in the sand accepting its over and go NC I'm sorry girl, I know this is tough but this is probably it. Follow the advice I gave above and pullleeezee change your netflix password! Also, next time move much more slowly, as others have said...guys that burn this hot and this fast, burn out just as quickly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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