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Is he being distant or am I being paranoid? [UPDATE: Boyfriend broke up with me]


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 6th January 2017, 10:38 AM   #1
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Is he being distant or am I being paranoid? [UPDATE: Boyfriend broke up with me]

I met a guy at the start of December and we were talking every night on the phone and we then met up for a date the next weekend. He ended up staying at mine for a few days and even met my mum and brother in that time. He then came down the day before Christmas eve to visit. After this his mum invited me for Boxing Day dinner with the family which was lovely and we all got on great. From Boxing Day until Monday past, we were with each other everyday and things were great.

We are officially in a relationship (on Facebook too), have said I love you (he said it first), met each other’s families, have them on Facebook and I’m so happy and he said he is too. He started acting distant on Monday before I left. He was meant to be coming down to mine for a few days but then he said he had work so he couldn’t. He’s also had an extremely sore back and ear for the last week too so I can understand his mood not being great.

He text me on Tuesday afternoon to say he has been drifting in and out of sleep because of the painkillers and he hopes I’m well and he loves me. That’s the last I’ve heard from him. He hasn’t been as active on Facebook as much either. I’ve sent two whatsapp messages and a snapchat and neither have even been read. I had to change my number and I text him to tell him and then I text him to ask how he was. I also tried to ring him last night because he was using my Netflix and I couldn’t watch anything while he was.

I don’t know why he’s being like this and I know I’m probably overthinking but I just wanted someone else’s opinion. I’m just scared of history repeating itself because my ex started doing this to the point we broke up. I know we’ve moved so fast but it felt right. We both agreed on that. I just feel so silly being worried already.

I was chatting to his mum on Facebook last night and thanked her having me down over New Years. She said no problem and told me she asked my BF was he coming down this weekend and he just said not sure. I tried to ring him a couple of times last night and no answer. I'm still on his Facebook in a relationship but still no word from him.

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Old 6th January 2017, 11:04 AM   #2
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Either he is really sick or he is having second thoughts about being in a relationship. Whatever it is he knows he can't keep doing this forever. I'm sure he will contact you this weekend.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:19 AM   #3
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Either he is really sick or he is having second thoughts about being in a relationship. Whatever it is he knows he can't keep doing this forever. I'm sure he will contact you this weekend.
His mum said he's feeling better. I am wondering whether we've moved too fast. My plan is to wait the weekend is out and then text him about getting some of my clothes from his.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:22 AM   #4
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You met early December and already have exchanged I love yous? Ok, slow the horse down. There is no way you two can possibly know if you are in love. Dinner with family at Christmas etc, it is pretty quick to do all this after only three weeks. He may be really sick or he may just be feeling overwhelmed.

I would just sit back for a few days and see if he gets in touch. If he doesn't, then I am sorry but it looks like he is ghosting you. Do not reach out to him at this point.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:32 AM   #5
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You met early December and already have exchanged I love yous? Ok, slow the horse down. There is no way you two can possibly know if you are in love. Dinner with family at Christmas etc, it is pretty quick to do all this after only three weeks. He may be really sick or he may just be feeling overwhelmed.

I would just sit back for a few days and see if he gets in touch. If he doesn't, then I am sorry but it looks like he is ghosting you. Do not reach out to him at this point.
Exactly what I was going to say! At this rate, I'm not at all surprised he's taken some time out to re-balance. Just reading your description of how fast things were progressing made me feel overwhelmed!
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:52 AM   #6
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Exactly what I was going to say! At this rate, I'm not at all surprised he's taken some time out to re-balance. Just reading your description of how fast things were progressing made me feel overwhelmed!
It did go so so fast! Even I was panicking a bit! I'm still friends with him on Facebook and the status is still up but no contact. I was going to leave it till Sunday and then tell him I'm visiting my sister (who lives nearby) and ask him can I collect some of my things from his.
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Old 6th January 2017, 12:15 PM   #7
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change your password to your netflix--- I'll bet he figures out your phone number then.
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Old 6th January 2017, 12:26 PM   #8
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Why do people put up facebook relationship statuses anyway?
Why does anyone else in the world need to be involved in the relationship or dissolution of it?

I feel like it puts so much pressure on the relationship.

That being said, you guys have put a lot of pressure on each other and the label from the start. Slow down. Most likely, he's overwhelmed.

May I ask how old you guys are?
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Old 6th January 2017, 12:44 PM   #9
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Why do people put up facebook relationship statuses anyway?
Why does anyone else in the world need to be involved in the relationship or dissolution of it?

I feel like it puts so much pressure on the relationship.

That being said, you guys have put a lot of pressure on each other and the label from the start. Slow down. Most likely, he's overwhelmed.

May I ask how old you guys are?
I'm 26 and he's 29. It was very fast but it was his idea and I didn't mind because things were going so great! I was overwhelmed too but surely you would still reply to someone and not deliberately not read their messages.
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Old 6th January 2017, 12:44 PM   #10
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Within 1 month you met, visited family, got into a FB relationship and exchanged ILY.

He is simply having an indigestion....of you.

You don't rush a relationship like this it's going to turn sour and fast.

I love chocolate but if I eat a whole box in one hour I will suddenly feel sick and hate it. That's what is happening to him.

Let him be. He needs to feel like chocolate again to appreciate it.
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Old 6th January 2017, 12:48 PM   #11
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I'm 26 and he's 29. It was very fast but it was his idea and I didn't mind because things were going so great! I was overwhelmed too but surely you would still reply to someone and not deliberately not read their messages.
You went along out of inexperience.

Men are different than us. When they like a woman they want to see her and be with her all of the time. They don't ask themselves if it's too much or not, they live in the moment that is why many men will come strongly like this and disappear after 1 month. Your story is a common story on here.

If someone wants to drive 150km/h you don't have to get in the car with them. You ask them to take a walk with you and you date step by step.

What is done is done. You now leave this guy alone. No more messages. He needs to miss you. If he doesn't get back to you just remember this lesson.
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Old 6th January 2017, 1:04 PM   #12
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You went along out of inexperience.

Men are different than us. When they like a woman they want to see her and be with her all of the time. They don't ask themselves if it's too much or not, they live in the moment that is why many men will come strongly like this and disappear after 1 month. Your story is a common story on here.

If someone wants to drive 150km/h you don't have to get in the car with them. You ask them to take a walk with you and you date step by step.

What is done is done. You now leave this guy alone. No more messages. He needs to miss you. If he doesn't get back to you just remember this lesson.
I'm just leaving him be and letting him miss me (hopefully)! We got on so well people actually thought we had been together longer than a month. It all seemed fine to me. He kissed me goodbye on Monday when I went home said I love you and text me on Tuesday as normal and nothing since.
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Old 6th January 2017, 1:05 PM   #13
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Within 1 month you met, visited family, got into a FB relationship and exchanged ILY.

He is simply having an indigestion....of you.

You don't rush a relationship like this it's going to turn sour and fast.

I love chocolate but if I eat a whole box in one hour I will suddenly feel sick and hate it. That's what is happening to him.

Let him be. He needs to feel like chocolate again to appreciate it.
I thought he maybe just needs some space to miss me. I'm hoping so anyway.
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Old 6th January 2017, 4:11 PM   #14
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Am I being ghosted? I really don't understand what's happening? Need ??

My boyfriend had been deliberately not reading my texts or taking my calls since Tuesday now and I'm wondering if he's ghosting me? He is still on my Facebook and we are still in a relationship status. I just haven't had any contact. I was talking to his mum yesterday to thank her for having me down for New Years and she mentioned she had asked him would he be down this weekend to see me and he said "I'm not sure" We have been going out a little over a month, met each other's families and he told me he loved me. Very fast I know, but it felt right. My question really is, if he was ghosting me would he take me off Facebook etc? And my family too?
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Old 6th January 2017, 4:34 PM   #15
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No...my ex bf ghosted me at first and didnt delete me from anything.

I think you got answers in your other thread that also apply here.
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