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Ex of 5 Years Emotionally Cheated and Left Me For Him - Stunned!


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Cornelius_Smiff

Okay I am new to this site so please be patient with the subsequent babble.

I met my ex on an online game and at the time we were friends. She was 19 I was 27. She was a really introverted, shy and all together closed off person which stemmed from her BF at the time who was a controlling, manipulative sociopath. Some weeks later she informed me she has finished with him after 3 ½ years, which shocked me as she had always been afraid to do so as he was prone to bouts of rage. She admitted later she did it because she had started to like me. In the coming weeks we developed a sort of online relationship (Sexy skype chats and lots of time together on games) and planned to meet at the end of the month (She lived about 3 hours away by train).

 

The moment we met I felt a connection it was wonderful. For the next year or so whilst she finished her studies we were long distance, and would visit every fortnight for a weekend. After she graduated she moved in with me as well as he two cats. We had such a great relationship… We liked the same things, had the same sort of humour, always had fun and often people described our relationship as sickenly sweet. We never really argued and any insecurities or problems we would talk it through. The problem was that she tended to internalise her feelings a lot and it was difficult to get any sort of emotional reaction out of her when having these discussions. I think she genuinely just wanted to do whatever the other person thought was best (she was very indecisive) but other than this minor glitch we were always very happy and she was always super affectionate/sweet with me.

 

I proposed about 3 and half years into the relationship, which she was over the moon about. Wedding was planned, venues booked and other stuff sorted in the following 15 or so months. Around July of this year (after we had been to visit a mutual gaming friend in Portugal). I sensed something was off maybe, I began to feel incredibly grumpy about things in general and occasionally insecure. Our relationship still has the usual sickly sweet structure and seemed nice as always. Fast forward to November and her Mum visits to get her wedding dress along with her Sister (who is a serial cheater). After the visit my ex was due to back to her hometown for a few days with her mum/sister to visit her family but without me. I was terrified, more so than usual and had overwhelming insecurities that she would want to leave me. I blocked these out whilst she was away and although it was hell, I got through it and was over the moon when she was back. Slowly I noticed things felt different but with other things still seeming the same. One day I came home and had enough so I confronted her. “You don’t love me anymore do you?”, to which she shook her head. My whole world came crashing down. Little over 2 weeks since she had come back, my worst fears were realised.

 

I asked her if there was anyone else “She said No, But I think I have feelings for someone else”, who happened to be another Mutual gaming friend who we had both known for a number of years but who we didn’t really speak with that much, and she had become very friendly with him in recent months. I asked if he knew how she felt and she said he didn’t. Although I was heartbroken beyond belief I had a lot of respect for her for being honest with me. She said she loved me but she wasn’t in love with me and that she saw me as a friend more than her BF. She moved out two days later and was tearful citing she would miss me. The last two nights in the house with me I had to listen to her speaking with him and our other mutual gaming friends as she stayed up until the early hours. The last night I shouted at her to go to bed as it was too painful to hear her flirting with him (albeit with other people in the call).

 

I learned a few days later that the other guy did know about the feelings and in fact she had been emotionally involved with and was having sexual chats with him about two weeks before she broke up with me. It was her who initiated it. I learnt this by hacking her skype chats, something I am not proud of and have not done since.

 

She has been saying a few bad things about just after we broke up but nothing too terrible. It almost seemed tenuous “Oh he never liked my massages because he was a pussy” or “He never let me listen to the music I wanted” both of which were BS and seemed pretty petty. I also saw the chats she had with our mutual (her best) friend where she seemed to start resenting me for really silly things like buying a certain type of bread or being insecure when she went away (even though I was probably justified). With this guy she also made fun of the fact I had a serious infection in my… ‘you know what some’ months prior which was not related to an STI but a serious case of cellulitus, and when I nearly died. Me personally I think she was doing this to try and make the new guy happy or justify her own guilty.

A week later she came to get her stuff whilst I was out and we had already agreed very calmly what she was taking and what I was keeping. She was supposed to post the keys back through the door, but her dad wouldn’t let her as he wanted some of the money back from the wedding stuff. I managed to get back as much as I could and had transferred the money earlier that day so I am not sure he was aware. She apologised and said I would get the keys back, to which I asked how this would be possible as sending them by post would be stupid. I suggested she sent them special delivery to my work address and she said once shes posting them she will let me know when to send her the address. That’s the last time I ever heard a single word from her. I never saw the keys and she never responded to my FB messages when I pleaded for them back. I even promised to go full NC as it’s what I wanted as well but I really needed the keys back. I had to end up changing the locks. Finally, I ghosted her and any mutual friends we had on Facebook. I even had to log in as her on her own facebook to block myself as she wouldn’t do it. I then told her she should change her passwords as I knew them and didn’t want the temptation of having this info.

Flash forward a few weeks and I learnt she was visiting this guy in Sweden over Christmas and the New Year, where our other mutual friends were also, was learning Swedish etc. Finally I was forced to a see a picture of them together on New Years Eve, which pretty much put the rotten cherry on top.

 

An interesting sub plot, The day we broke up I had just ordered her Christmas present which was some PC parts roughly equating to about £350.00, which she took with her on the agreement she paid it back. It made sense since in her name she had been paying off a PC of mine at £67.00 a month for a few years. She said it was going to be hard since she had to quit her job to move back home and until she found one up there she couldn’t afford to pay me back or the PC. Now being someone who is always very honest about money etc, I took her at her word and paid her two months worth of the PC money and then agreed I would pay the pc until April this year (which is when I believed the final payment was due) but I asked her to check the final balance with the finance company otherwise I couldn’t continue paying her. I also said once she got a job or when, she should tell me and I would let her pay the PC for however many months it would take to pay off her parts she took. As said previously, since she has started totally ignoring me I have no idea what she plans to do, but I know she has claimed to her Mum (who was very nice to me even after we split) that I refused to pay for any of it. This is BS I have a standing order setup until then and I will pay it for my own piece of mind. I have done everything I said I would, I have been totally honest with her, I have had to sort out cancelling the wedding stuff and everything. Somehow I am the ass though.. How does that work?

 

My theory is, she had serious problems with our relationship for the first time and was incapable/unwilling to speak to me about them so we could work through them. Seemed she got a heavy duty case of Grass is Greener, which makes sense given the pending wedding the following year. I honestly think her Mum visiting and getting the dress spooked her big time. Instead she chose to be a coward. I loved this woman with all my heart, made her a more confident and self assured person. Most of all I always encouraged her talent (she is an exceptional digital painter) even though she made up some BS that she gave up her comic drawings because I was always looking over her shoulder (even though shed draw them when I was at work mostly). She was always very clingy with me in a good way, always very affectionate and yes I was a very happy grumpy person if that makes sense, but we fit so well and always smiled lots.. etc It was a wonderful 5 years we had and however I feel now I would go through this again if I knew I could have that time again.

 

What I am struggling with is how this person that is so sweet and caring would do something like this, would cheat on me (I still consider it cheating!), would then proceed to crap all over me after it had ended and throw me away like a piece of rubbish. The irony is, its not even what she did towards the end of the relationship that hurts the most, it’s how she has acted since. She refuses to accept it was cheating or that she even left me for this other guy, she has told lies about me to make me look like an ass. I am not a bad guy and if I am guilty of anything, its being party to a failing relationship one which we were both responsible for.

I think emotionally she couldn’t handle the guilt or had checked of the relationship way before she ended it although she still had sparks of her former self even near the end so I am not sure. I think she literally threw up every wall she could to block me out and pretend that I didn’t exist or convince herself/others that I was a really bad BF. Essentially she has not acknowledged what she has done. I sent her one final email explaining that I knew what she did, I knew she had cheated and that I don’t hate her even though she did a ****ty thing. I also wished her luck and thanked her for the time we had. I closed by saying that it was her choice to cheat and act this way and as a result, she has just lost a good guy from her life. I wasn’t bothered if she cared at this point as I wanted her to know that I knew.

I don’t fathom how someone can be so cold or callous, jump into a new relationship after 5 years, which were mostly awesome. I am not idolising the relationship, it really was happy for the most part.

 

I have never felt pain like this before. She had a chance to be honest and instead she lied to my face before seducing some other guy and developing a relationship whilst still with me. I don’t hate either of them, I pity them because I know this was not really about me it was about her own failings, but it still hurts. I miss her so much. I lost my fiancée, my best friend and my cats all in the space of 2 days. Everything that mattered to me. Did I deserve this? How unhappy must she have been to have been so cold?

 

 

Thoughts? (sorry for the essay and the grammar/spelling)

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Sooner or Later

Well, I don't really have much to say except sorry for the pain of this sudden break up. It really is no use to keep mentally re-hashing the 'whys' of it all. She decided it was over, she began pursuing someone a couple of weeks prior to ending it, and then ended it. It's painful but it happens. I think you are just going to have to go complete No Contact and begin to work on your recovery.

 

It's going to be rough but she's done and you should try to accept that and work on ways to heal yourself from this tough break up.

 

I'm sorry.

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GorillaTheater

It seems to me that you've dodged a bullet, even though I imagine it doesn't feel that way to you now. She's young, and she seems immature even for her age. It's a good thing you confronted her about what you rightly suspected her dwindling emotional investment; who knows how long she would have strung this out while she was cheating on you with this other guy.

 

 

I'm sorry, man. You know how this goes: it'll be something of an emotional roller coaster. It'll hurt, then you'll get angry about the whole thing, then you'll start to feel better, then it'll start all over again. And after a while the sine wave flattens and you'll be past this mess and in a better position to truly appreciate that this happened before you married her.

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My ex gf was a very nice, clever, shy introvert. We lived with each other for 3 years, have similar values, attitudes, interests, liked similar books and movies. We had a warm, affectionate, mutually supportive relationship. Then I found out she had been cheating on me for weeks with a friend of mine, finding out about it after she suddenly dumped me and moved in with my friend after a week. She was utterly cold about it, completely unrecognizable.

 

I'm a pretty intelligent and perceptive person and I would have never in the lifetime of the cosmos expected this from her. I must have been completely delusional. Conclusion: You can never really know whats going on inside the mind of even a 'nice shy' girl. Never trust anyone!

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I'm sorry you're going through this. No. I mean it. Truly sorry.

 

It is cheating. Emotionally cheating it's the worst. I was with my ex for 5 years too and he left me for someone else, so yeah, I know what you're going through.

 

There's nothing you can do. And when I mean nothing, it is nothing. DON'T CONTACT HER AT ALL. Please.

 

Keep a journal of your feelings. In three months, read the first pages and you will see that you're feelings by then, won't be the same that you're feeling now. By no means will be hurt less. It will hurt like hell but in a different way.

 

Next January 31st it will be one year since he broke up with me and they're still together and happy. But I thought I was going to die. I haven't died yet so yay! Believe me. It will be easier as the time goes by. Don't pressure yourself too much, okay?

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Itspointless
Somehow I am the ass though.. How does that work?

People often alter the story so people sympathize with them. Telling family that you emotionally cheated in the end is not something that makes people sympathetic towards you. They want their support and family most of the time will be around for a long time still. Sometimes they do it unconsciously to be able to see themselves in an more positive light and feel justified to their decision. Thousands of stories here on LS about women turning into ice-queens. Not all of them do, but I guess is mainly is a girl thing. Like more guys than women just disappear on women or turn silent, leaving the other bewildered about what happened.

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Cornelius_Smiff
I'm sorry you're going through this. No. I mean it. Truly sorry.

 

It is cheating. Emotionally cheating it's the worst. I was with my ex for 5 years too and he left me for someone else, so yeah, I know what you're going through.

 

There's nothing you can do. And when I mean nothing, it is nothing. DON'T CONTACT HER AT ALL. Please.

 

Keep a journal of your feelings. In three months, read the first pages and you will see that you're feelings by then, won't be the same that you're feeling now. By no means will be hurt less. It will hurt like hell but in a different way.

 

Next January 31st it will be one year since he broke up with me and they're still together and happy. But I thought I was going to die. I haven't died yet so yay! Believe me. It will be easier as the time goes by. Don't pressure yourself too much, okay?

 

Thank you for your words and to everyone else who has commented it really does help.

 

Essentially we have been no contact except for an email I sent two weeks ago. I made it clear I didn't want a reply and I essentially told her I knew about her cheating, that it was ****ty and that I deserved far better. The overall tone was one of positivity. I thanked her for the time we had and wished her well. I also made it clear that I didn't hate her or him (which I know she doesn't like) because genuinely I don't hate them, I just pity them very much.

 

Instead of a journal I have been writing lots of poetry and quotations and I intend to make them into a little book once I am over this. The overall tone of the poems is very telling, 3 weeks ago they were very dark and cold. Now they seem to be laden with looking to the future.

 

Swan Girl I am also sorry this happened to you as well, there is nothing that can prepare someone for being betrayed by a person they love with all their heart and with whom they laid all their trust. I am glad to see you are doing well. A funny thing happened to me this weekend (its my Birthday weekend) the Thurs was the first day I didnt need to rush to the toilets at work and cry a little, it was the first day I actually smiled. I still have moments of utter weakness where the dark bleak nonesense gets in but its getting better.

 

This is something I wrote on Thursday evening in my little quotes book:

 

"In the midst of this broken state, the sun finally came out if only for a moment and seeped through those cracks. There are many cold days ahead for sure, but for first time I was warm and I even dared to smile."

 

Put that against something I wrote two weeks earlier:

 

"You lit up my life. You stopped the pending shadow as I built my dreams and you gathered them with your own. You then started to burn them bit by bit. You then threw on some petrol and charred them to cinders. You then kicked the charcoal into my eyes. You lit up my life!"

 

The hardest part now is just missing her but I suppose I cannot do much about that except soldier on taking each day at a time.

 

Thanks again for the comments guys, any further advice is always appreciated :)

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Cornelius_Smiff

Well here I was being all positive and I have gone back to a massive relapse :(

 

I can't stop crying and it feels like my insides are being scooped out by a spoon. I miss her so damn much! Is this normal?

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Cornelius_Smiff

Well in a weird sort of way that is comforting because at least I know I this is normal.

 

I guess it's just the missing her part, even though she doesn't deserve to be in my thoughts after we she did. I'm not a bad guy and whatever happens she can never honestly claim I didn't love her. In her eyes I may not have been very good at it (I have no idea of knowing if I was) but I never treated her badly and I always made sure she felt loved.

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Itspointless
Well in a weird sort of way that is comforting because at least I know I this is normal.

 

I guess it's just the missing her part, even though she doesn't deserve to be in my thoughts after we she did. I'm not a bad guy and whatever happens she can never honestly claim I didn't love her. In her eyes I may not have been very good at it (I have no idea of knowing if I was) but I never treated her badly and I always made sure she felt loved.

You know it has has little to do with if she has deserved it. You loved her. We all do things we regret in the end, but hey we are human: that goes for both of you. You did your best as you could as that time. Deep in her heart she knows that and respect you for it.

 

It sucks but mourning can take a long time. Just try to go with the waves.

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Well in a weird sort of way that is comforting because at least I know I this is normal.

 

I guess it's just the missing her part, even though she doesn't deserve to be in my thoughts after we she did. I'm not a bad guy and whatever happens she can never honestly claim I didn't love her. In her eyes I may not have been very good at it (I have no idea of knowing if I was) but I never treated her badly and I always made sure she felt loved.

 

I feel your pain, my ex and I broke about 4 months ago and today he drove past me. I don't know if he saw me or not since I was in public transportation, but I couldn't stop thinking about it for the next 3 hours and felt really depressed. And I thought I was doing better since I haven't been thinking about him the whole day for a little while...He doesn't deserve but I miss you very much too...

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Cornelius_Smiff
I feel your pain, my ex and I broke about 4 months ago and today he drove past me. I don't know if he saw me or not since I was in public transportation, but I couldn't stop thinking about it for the next 3 hours and felt really depressed. And I thought I was doing better since I haven't been thinking about him the whole day for a little while...He doesn't deserve but I miss you very much too...

 

Same for me I think. I know she doesn't deserve me but I miss her very much. My issue is I also miss all my online gaming friends (who were mine first but then became more her friends). I know they are probably having a good laugh about me with some of the things she might be telling them. I already know she has spun a few less than true stories about how terrible I apparently was. I had to ghost almost all of them since they are all either related too or best friends with the guy she left me for.

 

I know her saying BS about me is probably her way of justifying it to herself but it still hurts. I think the hardest part for me was losing her, my cats, so many friends and what was my soon to be extended family all in the space of a few days. I think empty is the apt phrase at the moment. I am doing okayish most of the time but I have a very deep sadness and emptiness right now :(

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Everything you say makes sense; it absolutely sucks. You have every right to say these things and experience these feelings for as long as you need too. Keep being honest, keep leaning on people who love you. Please know you're not alone. Peace to you my friend, hugs.

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Cornelius_Smiff
Everything you say makes sense; it absolutely sucks. You have every right to say these things and experience these feelings for as long as you need too. Keep being honest, keep leaning on people who love you. Please know you're not alone. Peace to you my friend, hugs.

 

Thank you DiveGirl

 

I'm almost sure of all the logical things/reasons she did... Her issues, new shiny relationship, lacking the courage to be honest about her unhappiness etc. Yet, I still look at myself in the mirror and have contempt for the ugly, aging idiot looking back at me. I am fully aware this is BS, yet I still think it.

 

I keep going over this wonderful relationship we had and it was for almost all the time we were together. I cannot fathom, however immature she may have acted, how anyone could run from that at the first sign of unhappiness. The only conclusion I keep making is that I am ugly and worthless, as soon as the first opportunity to jump appeared she took it.

 

All the while I am left missing her trying to make sense of the empty space she left. The silence at home is deafening and its like she still haunts the place (not in a ghost way) but more like there is a silent echo of her in the rooms.

 

I am generally okay now most of the time but then a wave of grief hits me like a brick and then I remember I have to go the rest of my life without her in it. She was my happiness and perhaps it was wrong to define her in this way, but honestly no matter how bad I was feeling or how sad or how beat down, I was always okay because I knew I had her. From the moment we first met (and hugged at the train station) to the moment she shook her head when I finally confronted her and asked "You don't love me anymore do you?", I was happy. 5 years of having that, then having it suddenly ripped away is soul destroying.

 

This scares me because I have seen people on here with 10, 15, 20 + year relationships that have fallen apart and I honestly cannot imagine the pain/hurt these poor people are going through. I am scared because what if I never have this sort of love again or this sort of relationship with a person I feel at ease with, and most frightening of all what if I am incapable of opening my heart again. I am a very loving caring person and I have alot of love to give, but my heart feels so badly wounded I am not sure I can take this kind of hit ever again.

 

Sorry for the vent, feeling very confused Today.

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Cornelius_Smiff

And now also learnt from a very old mutual friend that she has apparently refused to accept that she left me for this other guy. "The relationship was already over in my eyes" or words to that effect. I mean really? How can someone justify that? :o

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I'm so sorry. I have no advice, I just know it hurts. My friend texted me this morning. Thought I'd share.

 

Don't give up. I know it can be war but you're so worth it. The air in your lungs is there for a reason. Hope will come as a surprise.

 

Peace to you my friend. Hugs.

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You dodged a bullet. How u met her will be how she meets the next guy after that. 3-4 years from now she's going to meet another new guy over the one she left you for. Do you see the picture im painting? I know the pain sucks but you will get over it as i am finally doing that. Remember karma is a bitch.

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Cornelius_Smiff
You dodged a bullet. How u met her will be how she meets the next guy after that. 3-4 years from now she's going to meet another new guy over the one she left you for. Do you see the picture im painting? I know the pain sucks but you will get over it as i am finally doing that. Remember karma is a bitch.

 

I think you pretty much nailed it. Technically speaking she sort of did the same thing to get with me, although her ex before me was abusive and a massive ******* (which has been confirmed). She seems incapable of being alone and actually jokes about it "I havn't been single since I was 14". Essentially I think she has no idea how the real world works in terms of relationships and dealing with breakups because she has not ever dealt with it properly. I honestly believe this breakup will surface in her one day and bite her on the ass. Doesn't matter if you hated the relationship, after 5 years together, you have to process that **** in some way and avoiding it will only cause it to come back later on.

 

Thanks for the all the kind advice guys, I appreciate it. Hugs and love to you. To those of you also going through a breakup, I am sorry this happened and I hope we all find the sunshine eventually. :cool:

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YOU met whilst she was 19, 5 years later and when she is 24 you tried to lock her down into marriage, but at 24 she wasn't nearly ready for that so she starts looking around, she finds a likely candidate and she walks.

At 27 you were in effect looking for a wife, but at 19 she was just looking for a "fill in" relationship, someone to hang about with for a while.

She went along with the flow but when it got really serious she bailed as that is NOT what she really wanted.

 

YOU saw a future that stretched years ahead, as that is the stage of life you are at, you are now 33 perfect settling down time, but she at only 24 doesn't want to do that. She may have convinced you she was more mature than her years. but I guess that was more wishful thinking on your part than the reality.

 

She is not at the stage of life where she wants to settle down, she may have bought into the whole "marriage and kids" scenario as it is very flattering to think a man wants to marry you, but the reality of never seeing/dating/sleeping with another man "ever" is not what most 24 yos really want.

 

Do not try to make wives out of really young women, it is a waste of time as one day they wake up and want to taste life as they realise the world is their oyster, leaving you heartbroken.

They have all the time in the world, you at 33 may take years to recover from this.

Look for a woman around your own age, who is ready to settle down NOW, else you may just repeat this fiasco.

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Cornelius_Smiff
YOU met whilst she was 19, 5 years later and when she is 24 you tried to lock her down into marriage, but at 24 she wasn't nearly ready for that so she starts looking around, she finds a likely candidate and she walks.

At 27 you were in effect looking for a wife, but at 19 she was just looking for a "fill in" relationship, someone to hang about with for a while.

She went along with the flow but when it got really serious she bailed as that is NOT what she really wanted.

 

YOU saw a future that stretched years ahead, as that is the stage of life you are at, you are now 33 perfect settling down time, but she at only 24 doesn't want to do that. She may have convinced you she was more mature than her years. but I guess that was more wishful thinking on your part than the reality.

 

She is not at the stage of life where she wants to settle down, she may have bought into the whole "marriage and kids" scenario as it is very flattering to think a man wants to marry you, but the reality of never seeing/dating/sleeping with another man "ever" is not what most 24 yos really want.

 

Do not try to make wives out of really young women, it is a waste of time as one day they wake up and want to taste life as they realise the world is their oyster, leaving you heartbroken.

They have all the time in the world, you at 33 may take years to recover from this.

Look for a woman around your own age, who is ready to settle down NOW, else you may just repeat this fiasco.

 

 

I wasn't looking for marriage of any of that if I am honest. It was her who mentioned it first and it's hard to explain but our relationship was magical for many years. I never saw myself getting married but I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I think the marriage thing spooked her in the end, and her change in outlook seem to happen around the time her mum visited to get her a wedding dress. But initially she seemed completely excited about getting married. I guess in the end she was scared ****less and ran.

 

I just wish she had talked to me about how she was feeling instead of lying to my face and acting like everything was okay when it wasn't. We never had fights or any of that and we always talk about our problems. But the one time it really mattered she chose to build up resentment towards me and cheated.

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Cornelius_Smiff

Hi guys,

 

Think I am reaching a new phase now. I feel very different than I did. Right now, I am getting crippling loneliness and I seem to miss her more than I can handle. It's weird because sure I missed her before but I also had alot of grief/anger as well in the mix. I just feel like I am sitting alone in an abandoned town with tumble weeds blowing past and all I can do is sit on this bench and throw bits of bread for birds that will never come.

 

Things started to feel like they were getting easier and now I feel like I have fallen in a canyon. I am still the things I was doing before, I am going to the Gym and seeing my friends on a regular basis, but the loneliness is killing me.

 

Is this normal?

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Cornelius_Smiff

Okay, so here I am at what I see as one of the final hurdles (in these first few months at least).

 

I have got past Christmas, New Year and My Birthday (all of which were always massive things for us) and now comes what would have been our anniversary weekend (Probably the biggest deal).

 

Although I am feeling a bit sad at the moment (I also have the flu so meh), I am trying to treat it like it's just another day. This weekend marks 5 years exactly that first weekend we spent together (mostly in bed) and it was incredible.

 

But I have learnt (and this is good advice for everyone struggling through important dates) that it is just another day and what was past is exactly past. Nothing can change how awesome that memory was/is and dwelling on it actually does the memory a diservice because of the pain you feel now.

 

My approach: I am accepting the woman I loved in those memories is not the same woman who did what she did and certainly not the same woman who is now off somewhere with another man. Today is just another day and this weekend is just another weekend.

 

Sorry to rant but I think it's an important step. Lets see if I can stay strong in the next few days :confused:

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Ilovepizzalady

I'm sorry but it was absolutely crazy of you to think a woman in her early 20s was ready to get married and even stay with you long-term. Humans by nature lean towards serial monogamy 3-4 years and then moving on. If she's not at an age where it's typical for people to settle down and have children, there is no way she would go against her biological impulse to find a new relationship for the next few years.

 

It is likely this next one will last a few years (till she is about 27-28), she will break that one off too due to *falling out of love* (the human nature of losing interest after 3-4 years). Then the NEXT RELATIONSHIP when she is about 29-30, she will see that a lot of her friends are settling down and having kids and that will lead her to finally want to settle down.

 

She is NOWHERE near that.

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