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should i forgive her?or move on?


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i've been dating my girlfriend for six years, things were going great,a few days ago my friend who she's never met contacted me on facebook and told me he found her on a dating site after she had clicked "interested" on his profile.

 

he sent me a link to her profile and as soon as i called her out on it ,she denied but she immediately deleted her profile from the dating site, she later admitted that it was hers after i sent her screenshots, she said that she did it out of 'boredom' and didn't see anything coming out of it, the fact that she lied to me and was liking other guys profiles made me break up with her. she's now begging me to forgive her and now i don't know what to do,need some advice on this

Edited by sokoine
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Six years is a long time. It's enough time to where...you can have "mini-break ups" within that span of time, and still call it 6 years.

 

Were you all in any sort of a "non-communication" period before/during the time she was on this site? Or...were you seeing each other regularly, talking regularly, as you would when you're "together"?

 

 

edit: I just saw where she lied to you about it until you showed her proof. That's not good. (but if you've not been seeing each other or talking, she may have considered it none of your business).

Edited by whatnot
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You should forgive her. Holding onto hate is not good for you.

 

But that doesn't mean you should take her back. She showed that she is a liar and a cheat. I would not take her back, or be "friends" with her. But I would forgive her.

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Forgive yes.

 

Learn from it and ditch her sorry bottom - also yes.

 

This one is not for you and should have got rid of that profile...

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i've been dating my girlfriend for six years, things were going great,a few days ago my friend who she's never met contacted me on facebook and told me he found her on a dating site after she had clicked "interested" on his profile.

 

he sent me a link to her profile and as soon as i called her out on it ,she denied but she immediately deleted her profile from the dating site, she later admitted that it was hers after i sent her screenshots, she said that she did it out of 'boredom' and didn't see anything coming out of it, the fact that she lied to me and was liking other guys profiles made me break up with her. she's now begging me to forgive her and now i don't know what to do,need some advice on this

 

You should forgive her AND you should move on. If she hadn't denied it right away, I might reconsider. I mean, if she said, "yeah, I was bored and I'm needing more attention from you, can we talk about this?", I give her some wiggle room.

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edit: I just saw where she lied to you about it until you showed her proof. That's not good. (but if you've not been seeing each other or talking, she may have considered it none of your business).

 

we were still together when this happened,in those 6 years we rarely fought ,and when we did it was over very small issues,she keeps insisting that she was just bored,she recently graduated from law school and she's having trouble looking for a job so at the moment she's at her mom's place alot.

 

what's really throwing me off if she was really not looking for someone else then why would she lie about having the profile and try to hide it before i showed her proof

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I say if one cannot be faithful to you enough in all aspects, regardless of long-term duration together or not, they simply do not deserve the satisfaction and forgiveness they seek after doing so.

 

I agree with others - Forgive and forget, but do not take her back. You don't need something like that burdening you any longer.

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If she was "bored" she wouldn't have put up a profile. She could have had a fake profile that was empty/no pic and still look around if she was really "bored" or "curious"...

 

I am concerned that she didn't want to talk to you about her boredom or that she decided THIS is how she should get rid of her boredom vs. taking on a new hobby, volunteering, etc.

 

At this point I feel like she is feeling guilty right now and doesn't want to feel like she is "bad".

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I was in a relationship with a guy for a couple of years and one day a friend of mine told me that she saw his profile on a dating site. I confronted him and he said he was just bored and needed attention. Same excuse.

 

Forgive her when and if you want to but move on. If every time she is feeling bored or needing attention pushes her to dating sites and seeking interest in other men, trust you'll always be walking on eggshells wondering when she's out there looking for some excitement.

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If it smells like, tastes like and looks like, then it is. She lost interest in you and the relationship and was seeing what's out there to replace you with. It was very cowardly of her.

 

There's nothing to do now except recognize it's over and move on with your life. I wouldn't harbour any anger towards her. It will only hurt you, not her.

 

She's also someone I'd have no aspirations to ever speak to again.

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Not long term material. History repeats. This wasn't a mistake she made the decision on this and I'd bet you only know the tip of the iceberg.

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I also think you should forgive (I'm trying to do that at the moment) and move on, she has shown her true colours, find someone who respects you a whole lot more than that!

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There's probably been other stuff going on, there always is in these situations.

 

You could stick it out, but something will happen again. Wish I could be more optimistic for you, but I've been in your situation and did trust her and continue. It went from bad to worse.

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Forgive her? Why not? \ Taking her back? Are you nuts?

 

The profile thing can be forgiven while trying to confront the real problem and not swiping it under the carpet like she wants to do. She wants you to forgive and forget without dealing the deep issue.

 

But the lying? 1. her having a profile on dating site. 2. When you confronted her she lied and denied. 3. Didn't tell you she liked guys there.

 

She's a liar and a cheater. She showed you who she really is. Forgive and forget her.

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