sanne Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 I always assumed NC would be easy for me since i consider myself to be a strong person. But man, sometimes you lose all train of thought and old habits take hold of you. I don't want to get back together with my ex anymore, I know she's not right for me, but it just became habit talking to her everyday it's hard to just stop all that. I know this is for the best though, as I need to get my own life sorted out before I can even be friends or speak to her. Let's hope day 2 is a little easier, day 1 wasn't too bad actually. Link to post Share on other sites
Donut Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 There's going to be good days and not so good days. Remember the reasons you broke up, what got on your nerves about her (however small and trivial) and keep strong. NC will become the new habit after a while. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 That's really true. I agree Donut. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 Originally posted by Donut There's going to be good days and not so good days. Yes, I agree too. The good days get more frequent and better, the bad days fewer and not so bad. But even now - 3 months after my breakup - there are days when I feel pangs. That's just the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
RoxStar Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 The first few days are the hardest with NC. Old habits are very hard to break. I found that when I have urges to call I just call one of my friends to chit chat. Plus it also helps to start doing some new things. Find a new hobby to occupy your time when you used to talk to your ex on the phone etc. Good Luck! It does get easier. I am only really on day 4 but had brief contact on day 2. I am not an expert but I did the NC thing with my last break up before this one and it really helped me in the long run to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 well today started off pretty bad as I had nothing to do really until classes. But after going to the gym and working out, and doing a little late night run I feel much better. I don't have any urges to call her or go online. I just hope the rest of my days are like right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 ok so i feel really dumb for posting this, but these past few days I haven't signed online at all. I used to go on every day pretty much when we were going out, so she knows that I'm doing this on purpose. A friend of mine told me that she doesn't go on either anymore, which confuses me because it seems like she's doing this only because I'm doing it, trying to see which one of us can wait it out the longest. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by sanne ok so i feel really dumb for posting this Don't feel dumb. Love makes us do silly things. It wouldn't be love if it were rational and sensible so she knows that I'm doing this on purpose. A friend of mine told me that she doesn't go on either anymore, which confuses me because it seems like she's doing this only because I'm doing it, trying to see which one of us can wait it out the longest. The new you doesn't care what she thinks or what she is doing. Now you're broken up, it's not about her and the relationship anymore, it's about you and your future. YOU aren't going online because you don't want to meet her. It would hurt you. Whatever she thinks about this or is doing is of no consequence right now. PS You could always just block her for a few weeks. In case you want to go online and do something else. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by sanne ok so i feel really dumb for posting this, but these past few days I haven't signed online at all. I used to go on every day pretty much when we were going out, so she knows that I'm doing this on purpose. A friend of mine told me that she doesn't go on either anymore, which confuses me because it seems like she's doing this only because I'm doing it, trying to see which one of us can wait it out the longest. To add further to what Romeo said, I think she is not coming online for the fear that you might ping her, bother her or pester her. I know we like to hang on the hope of that elusive reconciliation but it is not there.Move on, and do what Romeo suggested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 no she knows I won't bother her at all. But I am glad to know that I was the main reason she ever did go online. Well starting Day 3 now. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by sanne But I am glad to know that I was the main reason she ever did go online I am smelling some dangling hope here.Come out of it, otherwise if she goes online now you would feel bad that what you thought is not not true. Who knows she has changed her IM handle or is in invisible mode. I understand you and this IM thing happened to me as well.What you think might be true but get out of the feeling. YOu are doing great and keep going wishes..take care Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 i know guys, I have no intentions of calling her or communicating with her at all. And to be honest, that's not even the hard part about NC. The hard part is getting myself to not concentrate on her and our relationship during the day. The hardest part is forcing myself to forget that she even exists. Thanks for your advice guys, everytime I start to stray off course, you put me back on track. I'm actually going back home this weekend to visit an old highschool friend that I've hooked up with many times , so hopefully that will keep my mind off things. Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Good luck this weekend Sanne ;-) hope things work out well and you have a blast! Keep up the NC mate, you're my NC buddy now! 4 days each!!!! lol simon Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Good luck this weekend Sanne ;-) hope things work out well and you have a blast! Keep up the NC mate, you're my NC buddy now! 4 days each!!!! lol simon And I am NC MENTOR . Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Thanks Greenhorn! You are really helping me! Simon Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted April 3, 2005 Author Share Posted April 3, 2005 Whoa, day 3 of NC was definitely not what I was expecting. So I go online for a few minutes to ask a friend of mine something really fast. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I come back I have a mesage from my ex. She's asking if I want her to return any of the stuff I gave her, which I thought was kind of odd. Instead of ignoring her I was polite and short. She proceeded to tell me how much she misses me and how this whole thing is a lot harder than she thought it would be. I told her it was hard for me too, but I made sure I exited the conversation pretty fast. Fast forward a few hours later, I'm over at my friends place having a good time playing drinking games with the girls from the apartment upstairs. Anyways, I'm really hammered and decide to make the stupid phonecall to my ex to see if she wants to come over and play beer pong. She agrees to come over, but says she can only stay for a few minutes. Well a few minutes turns into a few hours, and before I know it it's already 4:00 in the morning. So as I am walking her out to her car I get a nice hug, but then she moves in for a kiss. Now I'm incredibly drunk, and don't shy away and before I know it we're making out in the parking lot. Now I was totally wasted, but she hadn't drank anything the entire night so she knew exactly what she was doing. So today she messages me again, and says that she really wanted to be with me that night, but that she would need a few days before she was ready. I don't know, I think what she has wanted this whole time was to see if I had a life outside of our relationship. Anyways, I'm enjoing being single, and I'm having a blast on my own. If she wants to be a part of my life then it is her decision, not mine. I'm not waiting for her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted April 3, 2005 Share Posted April 3, 2005 If she wants to come back then let her take her own decision. You are doing great and showing her that you have life out of her. Give some time and see what is the outcome but don't bank too much on your wished outcome Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Yup, I go with Greenhorn. Play it cool and let her come back to you. It sounds quite likely, but you can't bank on it. And chasing her will drive her away. Link to post Share on other sites
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