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Taking a break..what should I do?


scarvy_nicknocker

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scarvy_nicknocker

Hi,

I'm having a lot of trouble lately with my ex-girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. About a month ago (in fact, 3 days before my 19th birthday), she announced to me that she wanted to "take a break", so that she could meet others. However, things were really going great between us, and it's almost like she just put up a brick wall. She said we would still see each other and still talk, but more as friends. She even said we may still go on dates and everything. However, just a week after she says this, I find that she's already seeing another guy (that I do happen to know). She has been going steady with him for about 3 weeks or so. I've tried talking to her recently, but it's like she's just trying to erase me from her life. Her entire family is angry at her for doing this to me, as they all know me very well. Her own mother called her a slut for what she did. Anyways, some people told me it was just because I am in college and 30 mins away (she is still in high school), and the distance is what is killing us. However, the guy she is seeing is about an hour and a half away from where she lives, and is in fact younger than her. I really don't get anything right now, and don't know what to do to get her back. I've tried ignoring her, but she just ignores me back. I've tried letting her know how I felt, how I still love her and miss her dearly, and she says "thats sweet, but i'm already seeing someone else". I really don't know what else to do. I hope someone here can help me to repair our relationship. Thanks.

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acidrein_08

Dude cut off all contact with her immediately! What she has done to you is wrong and you should not waste anymore time pursuing her. Things like this happen all the time but you need to be strong right now and walk away. Don't try to understand things, becuase girls are confusing and you will never get the answers from them, you just need to realize that she doesn't love you enough to keep your relationship together. Once you accept this you will be able to move on and find someone even better for you and I promise you that there is someone out there. Distance has nothing to do with it, especially since you said she is seeing someone even further away. But love, no matter how far apart two people are, is constant and if you can't make it apart then the love between two isn't strong enough. Start hanging out with friends, have fun without her. I wish you the best of luck, God Bless.

 

PS - Please listen to me when I say NO CONTACT!

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Originally posted by scarvy_nicknocker

Hi,

I'm having a lot of trouble lately with my ex-girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. About a month ago (in fact, 3 days before my 19th birthday), she announced to me that she wanted to "take a break", so that she could meet others. However, things were really going great between us, and it's almost like she just put up a brick wall. She said we would still see each other and still talk, but more as friends. She even said we may still go on dates and everything. However, just a week after she says this, I find that she's already seeing another guy (that I do happen to know). She has been going steady with him for about 3 weeks or so. I've tried talking to her recently, but it's like she's just trying to erase me from her life. Her entire family is angry at her for doing this to me, as they all know me very well. Her own mother called her a slut for what she did. Anyways, some people told me it was just because I am in college and 30 mins away (she is still in high school), and the distance is what is killing us. However, the guy she is seeing is about an hour and a half away from where she lives, and is in fact younger than her. I really don't get anything right now, and don't know what to do to get her back. I've tried ignoring her, but she just ignores me back. I've tried letting her know how I felt, how I still love her and miss her dearly, and she says "thats sweet, but i'm already seeing someone else". I really don't know what else to do. I hope someone here can help me to repair our relationship. Thanks.

 

It's time for you to let go. She's gone and that's that. It will hurt for awhile, and there's nothing you can do but wait for time to pass. She's not coming back, and if she did, why would you want her back? Who cares how old this new guy is or what her mother thinks about her. That isn't going to bring back your relationship. It's only giving you validation for the way you feel about her dumping you. She wasn't meant to be a part of your life. If she was, she wouldn't have left. Face it and move on before you drive yourself insane.

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scarvy_nicknocker

That's just the problem. Moving on IS what's driving me insane. I've been reccommended for therapy because I have been so depressed over all of this. To be honest, I'm the type that likes to have close romantic relationships, but as of now I never want to be hurt like this again, which is why its just so hard and confusing. I still love her and want her back, and would do anything for it, but at the same time it would be hard to take her back. It's driving me crazy knowing that we spent so much time together, shared so many experiences, had so much happiness going on in our lives, and even made plans on being together the rest of our lives. She brought it up more than I did, and nothing really makes sense except saying that she is a backstabbing two-timer, who I will never be able to get over. I've contemplated suicide over this.

 

It is also going to be really hard to cut off contact, because we attend the same church. I know you're thinking that I should just find another church, but I feel a loyalty towards it and can't just abandon it.

 

Sorry to argue back, but I just feel as if I'm literally in a sh** hole.

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Get ahold of yourself man. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? I went through the same thing a few weeks ago. Girlfriend of 1 and a half years, shared so many experiances, were so close, just up and decides she wants to break up because she feels like she is missing out on her college experiance and needs to run free. Granted your situation is a bit worse because there is another guy.

 

Its her loss, if she doesn't want what you have to offer then leave her be. Don't put her on a pedastal and think she so great. If she's so great, why would she have left? Get to the gym, work out, do something to make you feel better as a person. Stay busy, concentrate on your grades.

 

IF she comes crawling back, thats up to you whether or not you would be able to take her back... I've already decided if my ex comes crawling back, theres no way in hell I would take her back.

 

She knows she can have you back, people want what they can't have. If you see her at church, act like there is not a care in the world, that you are completely over her and 100 times better for it now. Surround yourself with other girls, doesn't have to be girls you want to get with, just female company. You'll feel better.

 

Hope all goes well for you,

Ty

 

ps.... DO NOT CONTACT HER, AT ALL. and if she contacts you don't answer the phone or IMs or texts.. NOTHING. let her chase you if she wants you. No girl wants some pathetic guy that is chasing after them. Sorry if what I say hurts but I think its something you need to hear.

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First.. her Mom called her slut because she broke up with you? What?

::Merin wonders WTF is wrong with people sometimes::

 

Okay..

 

It sounds to me that she (Your EXGF) Just isn't ready to be in an exclusive relationship.. and although it hurts let's keep in mind here that she is still in High School.

 

It isn't uncommon or unusual for High School (and really even College aged kids) to want to see whats out there, meet new people, have new experiences.. this doesn't make them bad people, or sluts.. it makes them human.

 

You're hurting right now because a relationship that meant a lot to you has ended and that always hurts.. she is wanting to try to remain friends and at this time it isn't possible because you've still got deep feelings for her and you haven't come to terms with the relationship ending..

 

My Advice is to tell her upfront that you do not wish her to contact you any longer.. that you're trying to move on and come to terms with the idea that the 2 of you are no longer together and you are unable to offer her your friendship at this time.

 

Continuing to sweat her over this or trying to hang on to it is only going to serve in making you feel worse.

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Forgot to meantion, even if things don't work out with you and this girl, and don't get your hopes up that they will. You CAN and WILL feel this way about someone else... say it to yourself..

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scarvy_nicknocker

I'll keep that in mind, and pretend I'm completely over her. It sounds like something that just might work. and to Merin, the only reason her mom called her a slut over this is because she already moved on to another guy and forgot about me, as if she just moves from one guy to the next.

 

I actually just thought about something: maybe I can make her feel a bit jealous. I have an old friend who I grew up with who is actually a model now (no lie). I might could get her to act for me as if we're getting to know eachother, and bringher to church one Sunday for my ex to see. How does that sound? I'd love some feedback.

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supergirl7777

Hey you take this as advice from someone who is kinda of going through what you are going throug, my boyfriend and i broke up about a month ago i let him go because he told me he wasent in love with me anymore he wanted freedom and was confused. So as i said it's been a month right but i havent called him or even seen him i'm being strong and hanging in there, if you see her or go out with her it's going to hurt you even more let half a year pass by or a whole year pass by as long as it takes in order for you to get over her, because if anything you are the hurt one here. Then you can call her when you are ready just to see how she's doing, remeber its hard but you have to hang in there after all you do have your dignity to take care of ok, you'll be fine look at me it still hurts and it's going to hurt but this is going to make you stronger for your next relationship, that how i see it.

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hmm It sounds good but don't do it for yourself, not for her.. You don't want that other girl back man, as much as you think you might. How could you ever trust her again?

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Originally posted by scarvy_nicknocker

Merin, the only reason her mom called her a slut over this is because she already moved on to another guy and forgot about me, as if she just moves from one guy to the next.

 

Uh huh.. sorry but because a high school girl broke up her BF and started dating someone else Doesn't make her a slut.. this coming from her Mom makes it even more ridiculous.

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Morgantown, WV, I goto WVU if your watching basketball or football at all lol. I think I'm transfering to UFL (university of florida) in a year for my masters tho.

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acidrein_08

Oh I was just wondering becuase me and my ex broke up for the same reason (she wanted to live more of the college life) and her roomate had a boyfriend named Ty who was a friend so I thought that might be you ha. We broke up about two months ago and things are great right now.

 

P.S. - University of Florida .. Good Choice! .. Go GaToRs!

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