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Broke no contact, how to stay no contact and move on?


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enchanted771

I guess I am feeling lonely/vulnerable because this is the first weekend without my boyfriend. I am so used to having him here and we always had our nightly routine so its been extremely hard to cope. He left me, because he said he doesn't like arguing. If every couple broke up because of that reason the world would be a lonely place. We did have our arguments, but for the most part it has been happy. It has been strainful the last 3 weeks because he has been acting very irresponsibly with his money and his baby mama expecting him to buy his kids things when he is already paying child support and he gives in. He doesn't even discuss with me being were supposed to be a team and he says its his money. So that is how the fight started. 3 days later, he leaves while I am at work, doesn't have the ba**s to discuss with me first. So I know even at the worst fight, I was good to him and a good person, and I did not deserve that at all. Still, like a dummy I decided to start messaging him to try and work things out. I guess old habits die hard. But he was making it like it was my fault. He keeps all our pictures up on facebook, as well as being in a relationship. So I messaged him because after all we have been through and the time we have spent together, I think some common decency is not too much to ask. We did discuss prior to this possibly working things out but he is taunting me or punishing me now. He is saying things like his is still in the thoughts of his life and doesn't know what to do because he feels like it will still be the same. Then says he will call me soon. That's a load of crap to keep me around while he makes up his mind, because I said either I am single or were together.

 

He acts like he had so much going on his life too. Before he met me he had nothing going on. I took him in, and we created a life, with our kids (different mothers) and I made him a part of the home. It was not my fault he did not make something of his life while he was at my home. He is on disability and is able to work because it is 2 years later and kept saying week after week he is looking for work this week and it would never happen. I would come home after the gym, and he is on the xbox. All day, every day he is on the xbox. He kept the house clean, but what is that 1-2 hours of his day tops? then he leaves and I find a warrant because he owes child support. He never even opened the mail and it is 4k from August and I can imagine how much it is now.

 

So I am sure you are asking this guy has nothing going for him, left me and has an arrest warrant and why do I want to work things out?? I give people too many chances but once I am done I am done. Its not like he didn't say hurtful things to me either. He could be a man, step up and say hey we both said some hurtful things, how about we sit down and figure out how to fix this. But he doesn't want to do that. He wants to taunt me and blame me and I don't think that is how relationships work. It is all about work, compromise, love and understanding and realizing that people make mistakes.

 

so now I am pretty much done...I made a stupid mistake contacting him and I cant ever do it again. I guess it was in a moment of loneliness and it has been hard.

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Hi enchanted771, first of all good job coming to terms with everything so quickly, it sounds like you're doing a whole lot better than I was a couple days after my break up. I agree that weekends are lousy after a break up, they are the worst days by far.

 

As far as staying no contact, get rid of any traces of him, any reminders, and block him on your phone and anywhere else he could contact you. Whenever you're tempted to contact him, do anything else. Contact a friend, post here, write down what you want to say and burn it, go exercise, anything. I've found that when I'm thinking about my ex too much I just talk about it to myself to let it all out. I go over all the ways she screwed me over as if I was telling the story to someone who had never heard it before. Above all, just remember that contacting him doesn't help at all and makes you look weak to him. He wants you to contact him so he knows he still has you on a string. Don't give him that satisfaction. Stay strong.

 

The fact that he's blaming you so much is really just a sign of mental weakness on his part. People that can't accept any blame are like that because they're too fragile mentally or immature to accept that they did anything wrong. It's good that you've gotten to see this side of him now.

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enchanted771
Hi enchanted771, first of all good job coming to terms with everything so quickly, it sounds like you're doing a whole lot better than I was a couple days after my break up. I agree that weekends are lousy after a break up, they are the worst days by far.

 

As far as staying no contact, get rid of any traces of him, any reminders, and block him on your phone and anywhere else he could contact you. Whenever you're tempted to contact him, do anything else. Contact a friend, post here, write down what you want to say and burn it, go exercise, anything. I've found that when I'm thinking about my ex too much I just talk about it to myself to let it all out. I go over all the ways she screwed me over as if I was telling the story to someone who had never heard it before. Above all, just remember that contacting him doesn't help at all and makes you look weak to him. He wants you to contact him so he knows he still has you on a string. Don't give him that satisfaction. Stay strong.

 

The fact that he's blaming you so much is really just a sign of mental weakness on his part. People that can't accept any blame are like that because they're too fragile mentally or immature to accept that they did anything wrong. It's good that you've gotten to see this side of him now.

First few days, I find it literally impossible to cope to where I think I'll give in. Luckily, it is short lived. All my exes thought I would not survive without them and I proved them all wrong that I don't need them. Then they thought they could patch things up. Which I never do, because when I was the one that wanted to they wouldn't hear it so I never do or I never make it easy.
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