gf uses drugs, alcohol

[jelly99]

well... dont know what to do... i m getting worried because im starting to have serious feelings for this girl i'm dating (i admit it... i love her).... why i'm worried? well in my opinion she has an alcohol problem and maybe a drug problem too... i dont wanna end up with this girl and put up with issues over alcohold and drugs... alcohol? well everytime she goes out... maybe a couple of times a week... she has to drink at least 1 bottle of wine just to leave the house... then at the bar/club... enough to get wrecked... she likes getting wrecked... drugs... she cant go to some dance clubs without dropping some pills. smokes weed sometimes, does shrooms sometimes and has done coke quite a few times too. for example if she's at a party and there is coke... she cant say no to it. thats all i know off... maybe there is more. myself... im older (25) .. i used to do things when i was her age (20), but only gettin wrecked, some weed and some muchsrooms. nothing else. I've decided to quit weed and the shrooms and keep the alcohol to 3-4 beers when i go out... enough to enjoy. i tried confronting her, however she doesnt see a problem with anything and i dont want to turn it into much of a big argument. sometimes i feel that im just something temporary, but sometimes i feel that i want to be with her for the rest of my life. im a decent looking guy... i can go out with other girls... hoewver theres something about this one... what should i do? should i give it a shot or should i ride on?

[opaleye]

If you think it's worth giving the relationship a go then I think you should talk to her about this. The worst that can happen is she will get super mad and dump you. But if it's between dumping her for it without talking to her about it or her dumping you after you have let your feelings known then I think you might as well see how she reacts. I mean don't not talk about it because it will cause a big fight because it is potentially going to split you up so if it causes a big fight so be it!

 

I personally would not want to be with someone who did the things she does but I'm kinda geeky like that and I get that different people have different ideas of what's acceptable and what's not but I think with you two the main problem is that you don't agree on what this drug and alcohol issue. Maybe it is an area that you are not compatible. If so then talking honestly about it can let you know if the differences between what you think is acceptable party behaviour and what she thinks is might be reconcilable. If you love everything else about her apart from the fact that she might be addicted to drugs and alcohol then you might want to try to stick it out to see if she can overcome the habits (if she wants to).

 

My ex- bf was into getting really drunk what I considered to be too often and he also did a bit of drugs and it never sat right with me. I couldn't see myself being with someone who did that all the time and I definatley couldnt' see myself raising children with a person who did that.

 

I say talk to her about it. Her reaction will probably tell you what direction she is heading with regards to her attitude to alcohol and drugs in the future and might let you decide whether you want to be a part of that future. Good luck.

[GirlDown]

maybe what she's doing isn't rght, but it seems like it's all about what YOU think is right.

 

she is younger than you, she's making choices that she may never have made before.

 

she might get over it, she might not.

 

if you're concerned, talk to her about your concern, not whether her behaviour is acceptable or not.

 

if you take a different approach, she might get insulted, and you don't want to do that. it seems a bit of a double standard to say "well, i do this drug and that drug, but whay you do is not okay" even if you just quit right now. she hasn't gotten there yet, if she ever does.

 

some people get out of that stage, some don't. i was hardcore for a while, and i'm definitely not now, at 23...well almost 24...

 

chances are this means you're just not compatible, and if that is so, it'e better to find out now.

 

good luck.