Ryan52 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 This is for the ones who have oneitis... I dated this girl from about 2 years. Everything was okay with our relationship (But as time passes, I realize it wasn't). I was dumped out of nowhere for a guy in his 30's and he was a bartender. She was 22, I was 23. I was super depressed and confused. I thought I wasn't good enough for her, I blamed her and myself. I hate extreme anger for her (for years). How can someone be so cruel? She acted totally cold to me. I dated various girls over the years and nothing sticked. I would still think about my ex 3 years later. I would compare my current girls to her. I haven't spoken to her in 2 years. But then I met this one girl, who I only dated for 3 months and everything changed. Yes, it didn't last long (she randomly dumped me), but then I realized, what type of girl I wanted. This girl was nothing like my ex. She had the same career path and passion as me. We enjoyed the same things and I realized, she was on my level. My ex wasn't. I see that now. My ex graduated from a very small college (a satellite school). She has a lousy job, and lives at home. Now my most recent ex is in the medical field, owns her own home, and travels all over. I am also in the medical field and enjoy the same things. Now my oneitis just jumped into another relationship after being single for only 2 months. She just broke up with the bartender after three years. Her new guy, is not a catch either. This is where I realized, how much time I've wasted thinking about my ex. No matter how much obsessing I did, no matter how much I hoped she'd return, I realize I'm the catch and she isn't. She is jumping from relationship to another and another. The longest she's been single in 7 years, is about 4 months. She's dated multiple guys. This says a lot about her. Always needs to be in a relationship. She probably hasn't changed since we've broken up, since she's never had time to grow. She's never alone and falling into the same patterns. So for all of the guys and girls out there who have oneitis... Stop wasting your time obsessing over them. I feel at peace now, not worrying about her. Worrying if she still thinks of me or not. Realize your worth. They were not right for you, like she wasn't right for me. I can't see myself marrying her anymore. I wouldn't be happy. She can not contribute anything positive in my life. She can't drive me because, she doesn't have drive herself. How can I be happy with her, if she's never happy herself? (She has depression and tried to kill herself before. She would always talk about suicide when we dated). Everyone, just move on and stay positive. The right one is out there! You may have to date other people to realize what your oneitis is missing. It does get better. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Hughes101 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 You are right. Just an observation /thought. You will get oneitis again. At 22 you should not be focusing on one woman. Look around at the girls your age... Are they focused on one guy? Hell no! "SPIN PLATES"until you find a really good one. Even when you enter a relationship keep plate spinning. #moderndaydatinginthe20s Link to post Share on other sites
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