moving on + clinging to hope (even when it's unlikely)

[healthyhopes]

Why am I finding it so hard to move on from a very short-lasting friends with benefits arrangement with some dick who rejected me and then fished for breadcrumbs / attention for such a long time? (and still looks at me with a sad expression, etc) Why do I still find hope in all of this?

 

Is it true that if things are meant to be, they will be? If he actually does like me, he'll end up telling me somehow, right? If this kid really liked me, it wouldn't matter how "incompatible"/"different" we are as people, he would have said yes, right?

 

I feel as if this last bit of hope is the thing that's stopping me from finally moving on.... I definitely feel better than I used to, but for some reason these last couple of days have been awful on me and I don't know what to do?

[louxor]

All you can really do is to continue to tell yourself why he was bad for you, and the more time that goes on, the clearer you will see this and the easier it will become to deal with

[healthyhopes]

All you can really do is to continue to tell yourself why he was bad for you, and the more time that goes on, the clearer you will see this and the easier it will become to deal with

 

Thanks...

What will be will be, right?

 

Why do I want him to regret this so much?

[louxor]

Thanks...

What will be will be, right?

 

Why do I want him to regret this so much?

 

Your ego is probably hurting a bit from being rejected by him, which I'd say is the reason behind you wanting him to regret his decision. You want him to regret it so he then feels a bit of what you are feeling, which in turn would boost your ego back up.

 

Don't worry too much about it, as time goes on you'll start to care less and less about him until you reach the point where you couldn't care less.

[healthyhopes]

Your ego is probably hurting a bit from being rejected by him, which I'd say is the reason behind you wanting him to regret his decision. You want him to regret it so he then feels a bit of what you are feeling, which in turn would boost your ego back up.

 

Don't worry too much about it, as time goes on you'll start to care less and less about him until you reach the point where you couldn't care less.

 

 

Thanks. I guess you're right.

I was in the double "friend-zone" with him; we talked every night and he said that I knew him better than everyone else, so I felt as if we had a valid connection. But now, after he has a girlfriend it seems as if he absolutely wants to forget about me. The only proof I have that he doesn't is that he looks at me with a sad face when he sees me, and one time when I accidentally ran into him and then continued on my way forwards he made out a small "you don't want to talk to me anymore?"

 

This kid is very prideful and very social, so I should have known that I wouldn't have meant much to him, despite how much we spoke. (Though I bet he is thinking the same considering my no contact)

 

I just find it so weird that he wasn't attached at all, either. I know he was considering dating me in the summer. I don't believe that guys can separate sex/emotions easier than girls. It must have been something else...

[healthyhopes]

Thanks. I guess you're right.

I was in the double "friend-zone" with him; we talked every night and he said that I knew him better than everyone else, so I felt as if we had a valid connection. But now, after he has a girlfriend it seems as if he absolutely wants to forget about me. The only proof I have that he doesn't is that he looks at me with a sad face when he sees me, and one time when I accidentally ran into him and then continued on my way forwards he made out a small "you don't want to talk to me anymore?"

 

This kid is very prideful and very social, so I should have known that I wouldn't have meant much to him, despite how much we spoke. (Though I bet he is thinking the same considering my no contact)

 

I just find it so weird that he wasn't attached at all, either. I know he was considering dating me in the summer. I don't believe that guys can separate sex/emotions easier than girls. It must have been something else...

 

 

woah that was kind of a rant/vent. woops

[Arieswoman]

Healthyhopes,

Please take care of your heart.

 

 

IMO FWB arrangements are a recipe for disaster as someone usually gets involved and gets hurt.

 

 

Let's get this straight, you say ;

 

 

"This kid is very prideful and very social, so I should have known that I wouldn't have meant much to him, despite how much we spoke"

 

 

So you accepted a FWB arrangement because you thought you didn't deserve any better?

 

 

Please do some work on your self-esteem and find some guy that actually wants to date you.

 

 

I can recommend this book;

 

 

"It's just a date" by GregBehrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

 

 

HTH

[healthyhopes]

Healthyhopes,

Please take care of your heart.

 

 

IMO FWB arrangements are a recipe for disaster as someone usually gets involved and gets hurt.

 

 

Let's get this straight, you say ;

 

 

"This kid is very prideful and very social, so I should have known that I wouldn't have meant much to him, despite how much we spoke"

 

 

So you accepted a FWB arrangement because you thought you didn't deserve any better?

 

 

Please do some work on your self-esteem and find some guy that actually wants to date you.

 

 

I can recommend this book;

 

 

"It's just a date" by GregBehrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

 

 

HTH

 

No... see in the beginning, he didn't mean much to me, and I didn't really feel interested in dating him at that time either. I didn't care much. I was actually the one that brought up fwb in the first place. I had never done it before so I didn't expect to catch feelings at all, at least not this quick. Considering this kid REALLY wanted a relationship, I felt like HE would have been the one to catch feelings, out of the two of us.

 

 

And thanks, I will check it out