Terrytiger Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) Hello all, This is my first time ever posting anything anywhere online, so I apologise in advance for any errors or if reading this has been a waste of your time. I have done this as I'm not sure where else to turn anymore and feel extremely isolated and confused. I have a 3 year old daughter with my ex-girlfriend of around 4 years. The relationship was not brilliant and after around the second year and whilst she felt like she was more a mother than a girlfriend, I was totally besotted and possibly quite suffocating for her. Inevitably we split up as neither of us were ever making one another happy. During an irresponsible and emotional moment we had break up sex ( which is when my daughter was conceived ) I moved out following that and we now focus our enegies into bringing up our beautiful daughter separately. The long and the short of it is that even after over 3 years I am still not at all over her. I miss her everyday and get a whirling feeling in my stomach anytime I think of her. Neither of us have had a new relationship however I know when that time comes I will find it extremely hard to deal with seeing her with someone else. For me, I don't think a new relationship is on the cards for a long time yet. These emotions towards her are already so over powering and unbearable, let alone when she ends up moving on. Why do I still feel like this after so long and why do I feel so anxious when I think of her? I just want to be able to rid myself of the emotion I feel towards her as I feel like I cannot live my life until I do so, Thanks for reading and any support/advice would be much appreciated Tiger Edited January 21, 2016 by Terrytiger Link to post Share on other sites
2much4 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 It can take a long time to move on from a bad break up. Unfortunately total NC is not an option if you have a child together. But you can already start with reducing contact as much as possible. You mention it was a very bad relationship and you both didn't make each other happy. The process to heal from a toxic relationship is very different than the healing process from a good and healthy relationship. Often, a part of your self-esteem is tied to the person. Maybe you feel guilty for not being able to raise your child as a married couple. Maybe there's something about her that triggers your insecurities. Try exercising more. Make new friends. Improve your life on different levels. Maybe you're only hung up on her because you're not happy about your life right now. It could be so many things. Good luck!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hopeconspiracy Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Is she aware that you still feel this way towards her. Now may be the time to put yourself out there and be honest with her before it's too late. Yes, there's a chance she doesn't feel the same but at least you will know and can finally try to move on. I have child with my ex too, however our break up is more recent but I do love her deeply. I'm trying to focus on getting to a happier place now but I would want nothing more than for my family to together again as well. Good luck. I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrytiger Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 Thank you to you both for your replies. Your words are very kind and comforting. I think the problem may be that we are still too close, she relies on me a lot still for example to take her shopping or with finances. As I'm so deeply in love with her I always scream how high when she asks me to jump, i wish I could be stronger. She knows how much I care about her and that I would get back with her if I could, but she seems so cold about the situation, evening telling me to get on dating sites etc! Hopeconsipacy - it's a really tough time. I've found the emotions have come in waves and whilst I've been able to get on with my life for some of the time, others I am not. I hope you also find what you are looking for. I met a lovely girl last year, the first person who's taken my mind off said ex - however she didn't feel the same. Perhaps I will not move on until I find love again, however I am such a recluse and don't often meet new people. 2much4 - there is definitely a lot in what you have said. I do not leave my house much nor do I Excerise. I will reflect upon my own life some more and find other ways to better myself as difficult as this is, Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Hello all, This is my first time ever posting anything anywhere online, so I apologise in advance for any errors or if reading this has been a waste of your time. I have done this as I'm not sure where else to turn anymore and feel extremely isolated and confused. I have a 3 year old daughter with my ex-girlfriend of around 4 years. The relationship was not brilliant and after around the second year and whilst she felt like she was more a mother than a girlfriend, I was totally besotted and possibly quite suffocating for her. Inevitably we split up as neither of us were ever making one another happy. During an irresponsible and emotional moment we had break up sex ( which is when my daughter was conceived ) I moved out following that and we now focus our enegies into bringing up our beautiful daughter separately. The long and the short of it is that even after over 3 years I am still not at all over her. I miss her everyday and get a whirling feeling in my stomach anytime I think of her. Neither of us have had a new relationship however I know when that time comes I will find it extremely hard to deal with seeing her with someone else. For me, I don't think a new relationship is on the cards for a long time yet. These emotions towards her are already so over powering and unbearable, let alone when she ends up moving on. Why do I still feel like this after so long and why do I feel so anxious when I think of her? I just want to be able to rid myself of the emotion I feel towards her as I feel like I cannot live my life until I do so, Thanks for reading and any support/advice would be much appreciated Tiger Please tell her how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
b-Shock Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Please tell her how you feel. When is the last time you expressed your feelings to her? How did she respond? Link to post Share on other sites
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