amytct Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Way back in May, I posted that my boyfriend had broken up with me with the always sensitive silent treatment. Well, a few weeks later, we talked and decided to try and work things out. This past weekend, he told me he could get together Saturday night, but that he'd be going on a bike ride in the afternoon. I e-mailed him Friday evening and told him that was fine and to call me when he got home from the ride. Well, the call never came. I e-mailed him that night and asked if there had been a misunderstanding about our plans. No response. Last night, I e-mailed him again (I should say that e-mail has always been our primary means of communication), saying that if he had misunderstood (but I don't quite know how I could be any plainer), I was sorry. I got home from work tonight and still nothing from him. This is my feeling this time around. I'm not sure I want to work things out because he knows from last time how being silent and not knowing what is going on upsets me and he's intentionally doing it again. There's no excuse for it and I think it's just plain cruel. My heart just can't take this anymore. I love him and I always will, but a good friend once told me, "Love does not hurt" and the truth is I keep getting hurt over and over again. Has anyone else been broken up with in this way and how did you handle it? I feel like I've done all I can and if I send any more messages, he'll think I'm pathetic. And I have to add that the silent treatment is the worst way to break up with someone you once loved and cared about so deeply. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Take the power back. A. Don't give him the opportunity to give you the silent treatment. STOP calling him. B. Don't care. A is hard but B is harder.... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Take the power back. A. Don't give him the opportunity to give you the silent treatment. STOP calling him. B. Don't care. A is hard but B is harder.... yes (B) is good.... indifference is a powerful tool in one's emotional arsenal. Link to post Share on other sites
CoolAunt Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Originally posted by amytct This is my feeling this time around. I'm not sure I want to work things out because he knows from last time how being silent and not knowing what is going on upsets me and he's intentionally doing it again. There's no excuse for it and I think it's just plain cruel. My heart just can't take this anymore. I love him and I always will, but a good friend once told me, "Love does not hurt" and the truth is I keep getting hurt over and over again. Has anyone else been broken up with in this way and how did you handle it? I feel like I've done all I can and if I send any more messages, he'll think I'm pathetic. And I have to add that the silent treatment is the worst way to break up with someone you once loved and cared about so deeply. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. My ex-bf used to do that to me and it hurts like hell, I know. It's a silent way of telling you that you are not important enough to listen to and that the relationship is not worth their attention. Your friend is mostly right in that a relationship itself shouldn't be a source of pain. In fact, it should be a source of comfort and strength to you. I don't mean that in the way that relationship junkies NEED a relationship to feel good. A relationship is only good when it's something that both parties want to be in. Relationships require a great deal of work from BOTH PARTNERS and sometimes that work can be painful. But the relationship itself shouldn't be a source of pain. I agree with the others that you should blow this guy off. However, if it makes you feel better to send him one more e-mail to tell him that he's fired, I don't see how that could do any harm as long you stay strong, take control, and don't go all "poor lil' ol' me" in the message to him because looking back on it later, you may feel foolish having made yourself look so pitiful. Or just go silent on him, too. Whatever makes you feel better. Stay strong. Don't take him back again. Hold out for someone who won't play these emotional games with you. Cool Aunt Link to post Share on other sites
Zephyer Kai Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Im in the exact same as the silent treatment , and then they wander why or how you come up with these conclusions there is nobody guiding you, and emotion can derail the strongest of warrior. there is no solution im sorry it depends on how you react, there full of **** when it comes to the crunch yep i burnt and it sux to be me. the saddest part of a mans?womans life is what dies inside them while they still live. Link to post Share on other sites
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