Bo34 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Long story short: We've been broken up for many months now. I got dumped after a year and a half with my ex. I went NC from day one. Believe me when I say, I tried everything to let her know that I believed this was a mistake and did NOT wish to go through with this. After hours of talking, pleading, reasoning etc., I accepted her request, and we said our goodbyes. I deleted all her pics, phone number, texts and un-followed her from Instagram (only social media platform I have) from day 1. However, during this time, I sort of lived with the false pretense that she would come back to me and we would reconcile. Well, even though we had no contact in any way, she still followed me on Instagram during this time and was able to see my pics. She even liked one or two of them during the course of the past several months. With the start of the New Year, I really said I wanted nothing to remind me of the past and got deep. I decided that unfriending her wasnt enought, and that I needed to block her from Instagram so that she no longer would have any access to profile and pictures. I gotta say, it felt wonderful!!!! Even though I unfollowed from IG from day 1 and had no idea what was going on in her life, I would always be so cautious with posting the "perfect picture" of tailoring my IG so that it would not show anything where she could read between the lines. It was like a monkey on my back. Now, I and finally exhale and not give a F what I post, or like, or comment and even more important, we can be 2 complete strangers. But a few of my friends said I shouldn't have done that. They said I took it a bit too far by blocking her and that now she may think I couldn't handle the breakup and appeared desperate. They also said that by her remaining friends with me thru social media, she would be able to see my improvements in life and it could then turn into actions on her part. I don't know how I feel now that they said that. I did not do this in the spur of the moment. I did not do this to provoke any reaction from her, or to make her angry. It was strictly cutting out the last line of communication, and to enhance my healing process even more. So what do u guys think?? Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I think you did great! your friends get it wrong. You are the one who controls your actions, not her. They want you to getting back to square one, giving a sh#t about what she thinks. Who cares?! I think they also got a misinterpretation of everything. You didn't block her from the beginning, so when you do it now, it says that you are moving forward to the next stage of moving on. Excellent! As far as she knows you might want to publish pics of your new Gf, how can she tell? I think you've made the right decision. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Blocking is always the way to go. Who cares what she or your friends think? You have to do what is best for YOU and your recovery. This is always the way to go. Just be aware that what can be blocked can also be unblocked. The block is just a "Last chance to turn back" sign before you see things you don't want to. The discipline still has to come from you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Yes. You did the right thing for you. Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Yeah, your friends are wrong lol. I've always seen blocking as the more mature move instead of keeping each other on social media because: a)It shows you're moving forward instead of hanging onto the past, and b)A large majority of the time if you have your ex on social media one or both of you will post something specifically for the purpose of hurting the other. Besides, you blocked her for your own healing. Not for the approval of your ex or your friends. You do what you feel is best for you and you're golden, dude 3 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 So what do u guys think?? Well done. If you say anything to her tell her to stay the hell away from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Your friends are wrong. Removing this girl from your life isn't desperate. I think their suggested course of action is actually what would make you look desperate. Blocking, assuming you don't start a pattern of unblocking and then blocking again, shows that you're earnestly trying to move on with your life. Keeping your on your friends list and hoping she gets jealousy or upset when she sees how well you're doing is inauthentic and shows you're more invested in her than blocking ever would convey. I deleted and blocked my ex almost right away. I didn't announce it or make a big deal about it, because that wasn't the purpose. I did it for self-preservation. I did it because I didn't want to be privy to any updates from her. I didn't want to be reminded of her any more than my brain was already reminding me about her. I did because I wanted to know that when I posted anything to my account, I wasn't doing it with the subconscious thought of, "What will she think of this?" You did the right thing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kittyxo Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Long story short: We've been broken up for many months now. I got dumped after a year and a half with my ex. I went NC from day one. Believe me when I say, I tried everything to let her know that I believed this was a mistake and did NOT wish to go through with this. After hours of talking, pleading, reasoning etc., I accepted her request, and we said our goodbyes. I deleted all her pics, phone number, texts and un-followed her from Instagram (only social media platform I have) from day 1. However, during this time, I sort of lived with the false pretense that she would come back to me and we would reconcile. Well, even though we had no contact in any way, she still followed me on Instagram during this time and was able to see my pics. She even liked one or two of them during the course of the past several months. With the start of the New Year, I really said I wanted nothing to remind me of the past and got deep. I decided that unfriending her wasnt enought, and that I needed to block her from Instagram so that she no longer would have any access to profile and pictures. I gotta say, it felt wonderful!!!! Even though I unfollowed from IG from day 1 and had no idea what was going on in her life, I would always be so cautious with posting the "perfect picture" of tailoring my IG so that it would not show anything where she could read between the lines. It was like a monkey on my back. Now, I and finally exhale and not give a F what I post, or like, or comment and even more important, we can be 2 complete strangers. But a few of my friends said I shouldn't have done that. They said I took it a bit too far by blocking her and that now she may think I couldn't handle the breakup and appeared desperate. They also said that by her remaining friends with me thru social media, she would be able to see my improvements in life and it could then turn into actions on her part. I don't know how I feel now that they said that. I did not do this in the spur of the moment. I did not do this to provoke any reaction from her, or to make her angry. It was strictly cutting out the last line of communication, and to enhance my healing process even more. So what do u guys think?? As hard as it is, I think doing this is the best thing to do for yourself. I recently got dumped after 5 years and the first thing I did was unfollow my ex on Instagram, along with his family members and friends. I couldnt bare the thought of seeing him going out and having fun trying to prove to me hes over me. Im actually happy I did this because his girl cousins began uploading pictures of him and them having fun and he even began posting pictures of himself, changed his profile picture from a picture at MY birthday party (I wasnt in the picture lol) and began adding more followers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You did the PERFECT thing. I too blocked this ex ex who was back in picture for months. Blocked her just other day thru everything. Email, text, fb, phone I have made up my mind. I knew we weren't gonna work but the sex was ummmm.. anyway, im done with it... All the hot and cold non sense bs. I make the calls from now. Screw that. You and I need real women in our lives. High five to the blocking and new adventures ahead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bo34 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) Thank you for all of your replies, guys. I really appreciate the wise words and feedback. After reading a few of your comments, I'm happy to think I made the right move. Even though I unfollowed her from the beginning and couldn't see her pictures any longer, the fact that she still was on my friends list and hadn't unfollowed me, hurt me in many ways. It kept that false hope alive and we all know how difficult that stage is to get over. I kept thinking that even though she dumped me, she still had some regret because why would she still follow me and why would she 'like' a few of my pictures? Now that I blocked her, I feel so relieved. I no longer have to worry about posting that "perfect picture" and making myself look a certain way. That **** really kills you. I'm not one of those individuals that posts many pictures. Just because I go out, doesn't mean that I feel the need to post something, but some people view that as you're not living it up and I felt like she kept tabs on me because she wanted to know who was doing better post-breakup in her eyes and also because it was her only line of communication left of me; My ex was somewhat opposite of me in that she was far more glued to social media, having countless of different platforms and posting far more frequently. In retrospect, I should've done this a long time ago, but as with anything, we heal in stages. Edited January 4, 2016 by Bo34 Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 In my view... do what feels right for you. Don't worry about other people's perceptions if blocking works for you. It doesn't matter what she or your friends think - you're the one that has to be surrounded by your thoughts and feelings all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Yes you did the right thing. If you make improvements in your life it should be because you want to do it for you and not to "impress" her. It's none of her business what you do and she chose that. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You're friends are off-base here. Completely wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Blocking someone is for your mental wellbeing and that's it. You did it for you so it's all good. Link to post Share on other sites
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