Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I know I do. This is the first time I wished she hurt as much as I am hurting, and normally I am not a spiteful person, but I suppose people change when they come into your life and hurt you? I don't know. Anyway, how many of you wish your ex hurt as much as they hurt you? Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I have, but it wouldn't accomplish anything. However, for her to feel just for one day how I felt at my worst would help her understand what she did. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
little princess Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 What I am going through I would not wish upon the worst person in the world, because this is the worst you can do to someone. I will never ever wish that anything like this will happen to him. But sometimes the thought can come inside you, that the only way this person would realize what pain and what harm he or she caused you is by going through the same themselves. Only then they will understand. But I don't wish this to happen to anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why, what happened to you, princess? Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I have wished fervently that my most recent ex be brought to his knees by the weight of the world, so that he would be forced to stop coasting and taking no responsibility for anything, and maybe would recognize, finally, what a treasure he had in me and how much his apathy hurt me. I certainly don't wish him well, and I don't feel a bit bad about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I wish my ex happiness. She has certainly gotten her karma and then some so I hope she can get out of prison with a new lease on life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
little princess Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Why, what happened to you, princess? Left in the middle of nowhere and that too without any reason or explanation. You know the worst kind of pain and feeling is when you are hanging or someone keeps you hanging.. for a long time and you can't move forward or backward in life.. and you try to live on this hope.. but you don't know anything. I would say a rejection would be less painful altogether than being left with complete silence and a thousand unanswered questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 Princess, I don't think we can really compare ourselves to each others pain and weigh out which is worse. Mine didn't leave without an explanation, but trust me when I say that I hurt every single day, every second. There is not a second that goes by where she isn't on my mind, and I cannot get peace because when I think of her, it weighs heavy on my heart. It's like someone has placed a tank on my chest and I cannot do anything to get from under it. I cannot eat and I cannot sleep. I am sure you hurt just as much, but it is no worse or better than my hurt. We're all different with different circumstances and it is very painful for each of us, just know you are not alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 No. I would not wish pain unto someone I have loved. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 I like that you say that, Science. I wish I could say the same, but honestly, I wish she would feel what I would feel, mostly because then I'd know she cared. Did you have a nasty break-up or a decent one? Link to post Share on other sites
MrReborn Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 All I want is an apology. I want to tell her off, but an apology that's not out of easing her own guilt would triumph that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
little princess Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 OP, yes I agree. It does not really matter how you were left, the pain is unbearable. I know what you mean. I could not eat and sleep either. I still have sleepless nights, and I wake up to the worst feeling and depressive thoughts. I feel there is nothing left inside me. I feel like a fasade.. alive on the outside, but empty inside. Like a living corpse. I did not step outside my home for three weeks, and I think I will need to stay another week off from work. I am going through a severe mental trauma. I don't wish this to happen to him ever, but I wish he will realize how much pain and harm he has caused me. I hope you will feel better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 I completely understand what you mean, Princess. Feel free to private message me if you wish to talk. Also, what does OP stand for? I'm sorry this happened to you, my thoughts are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I like that you say that, Science. I wish I could say the same, but honestly, I wish she would feel what I would feel, mostly because then I'd know she cared. Did you have a nasty break-up or a decent one? My most recent break up was not nasty. Regardless of how our relationships end, the source of healing is always the same. It must come from within. How your former partner feels is irelevant to your healing. Realize that it's just your ego wanting them to feel any sort of pain. "If you're willing to look at another person's behavior towards you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all." - Yogi Bhajan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I will add, that it takes time to feel indifferent towards an ex. I am not there yet in my most recent situation, but I know that's the end goal. You will get there, and having the thoughts and feelings you are having is normal, just keep moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 My most recent break up was not nasty. Regardless of how our relationships end, the source of healing is always the same. It must come from within. How your former partner feels is irelevant to your healing. Realize that it's just your ego wanting them to feel any sort of pain. "If you're willing to look at another person's behavior towards you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all." - Yogi Bhajan I like that quote. However, although their feelings are irrelevant, I think it is a different sort of healing process when you have a nasty break-up compared to one that is amicable. For example, I've had both - and during my amicable one I felt sad and just remembered the good times and it was like that constantly during my healing process. However, this one, which was quite nasty, I find myself feeling constant anger, remembering most of the horrible things she said to me and me to her. It got ugly despite the relationship being very beautiful for almost four years. So, my healing process is very different in that respect compared to one that is amicable, I am angry one day, the next I am feeling sad and hoping, remembering the good times. The best way I can describe it is being on a roller-coaster 24/7 for every day and that experience is different for everyone, some people are laughing and enjoying themselves, others are feeling nauseous and terrified, wondering when it will stop meanwhile you get vomited on every so often from the person behind. What's worse is that I have to see her at work- it's almost like reliving the pain, anger, regret, and simply just being crestfallen each time you see her face. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
little princess Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I completely understand what you mean, Princess. Feel free to private message me if you wish to talk. Also, what does OP stand for? I'm sorry this happened to you, my thoughts are with you. OP stands for Original poster, the one who starts the thread, in this case, you. Thank you so much. I need to sleep now, but will message you by tomorrow. My thoughts are with you too. To be honest.. right when this happened, I know it was my ego and the overwhelming pain, but the first week I could not stop myself for crying and wish and pray that he would go through the same so he could feel my pain and what I was going through. When pain is intense, it's very hard. But when you forgive, which is even harder, then you would not wish verbally, but maybe deep inside you would want them to at least realize what they did to you. But again, I love him deeply and seeing him in pain will cause me pain. Love is so strange. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I'm so sorry you have to see her at work. Hopefully you don't have to work closely with her. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) I know I do. This is the first time I wished she hurt as much as I am hurting, and normally I am not a spiteful person, but I suppose people change when they come into your life and hurt you? I don't know. Anyway, how many of you wish your ex hurt as much as they hurt you? we can all have nasty thoughts.......and discard them....for what they are which are just thoughts.......i dont wish hurt on anyone and i have been hurt by exes......i just want them to stop hurting me...and to see how they have hurt me i wish for that.......and they have....we all hurt each other it is just fact....but when we realize what we have done and cease to do it......is personal growth.....when i feel badly about someone.....i try to think of all their good qualities.....the good times....how we had those as well and try not to dwell on the bad times........forgiveness is important to move on and thinking about how horrible they were doesnt help you to forgive but thinking about what was and is good about them does so everytime i have a thought about something horrible someone has done to me ....i really try to think of something positive and or see it from their side.........so does no contact help to heal a broken heart.....a time of reflection....it takes two people to breakdown a relationship not just one....and taking responsibility for the break up and seeing also that you were not perfect either...helps to heal the wishing harm thing........deb Edited September 28, 2015 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 OP stands for Original poster, the one who starts the thread, in this case, you. Thank you so much. I need to sleep now, but will message you by tomorrow. My thoughts are with you too. To be honest.. right when this happened, I know it was my ego and the overwhelming pain, but the first week I could not stop myself for crying and wish and pray that he would go through the same so he could feel my pain and what I was going through. When pain is intense, it's very hard. But when you forgive, which is even harder, then you would not wish verbally, but maybe deep inside you would want them to at least realize what they did to you. But again, I love him deeply and seeing him in pain will cause me pain. Love is so strange. I'm so sorry you have to see her at work. Hopefully you don't have to work closely with her. I fully agree with you, Princess. I hope you have a good night sleep. ScienceGal, it is pretty close enough to see her face everyday, which sucks. I try not to look at her, but sometimes I catch her by the corner of my eye, looking at me, and when I look back, my eyes immediately begin to tear so I have to look away. And that also sucks, because I'm not a man who cries and I hate admitting I even do. Link to post Share on other sites
little princess Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Todreaminblue, I agree with you. We have to look at the good things and good memories and the goodNess of the person. If the positive sides are overpowering, we shold ignore the bad ones. But again easier said than done, but yes when you forgive, you feel like a burden is lifted from your heart and you let go of the negative feelings. Although it does not remove the pain and harm, but it makes it easier to get through each day. But I still wonder how people have a heart to do this to someone? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I wouldn't want him to hurt as much as I have. Because hurt people, hurt people. We would both be far better off wishing each other happiness and chasing such things that make us happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
unluckycharms Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I have revenge fantasies frequently and have even thought of specific ways I could mess with him, but I know they're not a good idea and that the best revenge is to stop caring. When I am feeling a lot of ill will towards him, I try to just focus on how deeply unhappy and broken his psyche must be for him to conduct his life as he currently does. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 The best revenge anybody here can have is to live well. Nothing makes the souls of people who hurt you burn inside like them seeing you happy and doing well. To spend energy wanting to hurt them means you are thinking of them which actually makes them feel good in some sick way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I did, but not as revenge. I wished that because it would mean that she loved me too. But she didn't, at least not anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts