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My ex gf texted me Monday I decide to ignore it i feel horrible and pain again


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My ex broke up with me a year ago. We were together for 12yrs. She left me for someone she was talking to online. I never really got any real closure. She treated me like trash during the whole process of moving her things out of the house separating bill and a lot more. I was emotional wreak still am in some degree. Just how some one I spent most of my life with could be so cruel when the person you dumped is being civil and kind while being distant to avoid more emotional pain on my self. Any ways a year and a few months pass and she texts me out of nowhere about her finding my deceased fathers wallet or stuff that was in his wallet she was not sure how she has it or if wanted it. I thought it was weird because it seemed out of nowhere very vague and business like. The pass year I've been talking to God and my father for help as I feel like I am drowning as the past year has been really hard. I didn't know how to reply to her. I thought she could just mail it with out sending a text. I spent days over thinking it. I decided to ignore the text as I just felt overwhelmed with the pain of our break up. I feel like I made a mistake and I should of stay civil but I felt nc still was best for my growing as I'm trying to move past and forgive and stay a good man. i feel like I'm being rude am I doing the right thing what's her motive. I could really use some advice.

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Her motive is to see if you want the wallet or not. You're overthinking it because you havent moved on yet. If you want the wallet then instruct her on how to send it to you or if you dont want it then choose to ignore or just tell her no, there end of story. Stop overthinking it, you're being your own worse enemy here. As I said you still havent moved on, otherwise this wouldnt affect this much.

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My ex broke up with me a year ago. We were together for 12yrs. She left me for someone she was talking to online. I never really got any real closure. She treated me like trash during the whole process of moving her things out of the house separating bill and a lot more. I was emotional wreak still am in some degree. Just how some one I spent most of my life with could be so cruel when the person you dumped is being civil and kind while being distant to avoid more emotional pain on my self. Any ways a year and a few months pass and she texts me out of nowhere about her finding my deceased fathers wallet or stuff that was in his wallet she was not sure how she has it or if wanted it. I thought it was weird because it seemed out of nowhere very vague and business like. The pass year I've been talking to God and my father for help as I feel like I am drowning as the past year has been really hard. I didn't know how to reply to her. I thought she could just mail it with out sending a text. I spent days over thinking it. I decided to ignore the text as I just felt overwhelmed with the pain of our break up. I feel like I made a mistake and I should of stay civil but I felt nc still was best for my growing as I'm trying to move past and forgive and stay a good man. i feel like I'm being rude am I doing the right thing what's her motive. I could really use some advice.

 

 

It sounds like you not responding to her is bothering you more than simply replying "Yes, I'd like it back. please mail it to this address.. Thanks".

 

 

Send that and move on if you feel like you're being rude and that's causing you all this grief.

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I think she just wants to see if you want the wallet back. She probably felt wrong about throwing it away and is trying to do the right thing. That being said, I understand that the contact has hurt you. It's a reminder that you are not together, and I think it's normal to feel that way. When you are still grieving, any contact (even seemingly innocuous) can stir up emotions that are not welcome. Unfortunately, most people do end up seeing or having to speak to an ex at some point in time. I don't know many people who never encountered an ex again in some way.

 

Now, the important thing is how to deal with the situation and your emotions. You can write back with a short text saying that you do or do not want the wallet, but you really need to be strong and refrain from engaging with her in any way. I don't think you can handle that right now, so, if you decide to respond, keep it very to the point. If you don't want the wallet, I don't necessarily think you need to respond. You could even respond with something as simple as, "No thank you. Feel free to dispose of it." This is just a bump in the road, and, hopefully, you will be back to normal in no time.

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