karly85 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I will give some brief background information My bf and I were together 1.5 years. He is 33, divorced with 3 children (from 2 ex's). I am 28, never married and no kids. We dated for a few months and in this time, we grew together and were happy. I was initially overwhelmed with 3 kids (aged 9, 7 and 5) but I grew to love them and they all became my family. We live one hour apart so I would travel to see him 4/5 times a week. I am a doctor and I also free lance as a model but this was never an issue. He would get very jealous from the attention id receive when id go out or just generally men trying their luck (which most men do) I found out a few month ago I was pregnant. We were both happy. Whilst having my check up, I was diagnosed with Chlamydia. This was a SHOCK. My partner and I both tested before we got into a sexual relationship and were NEGATIVE. I had a smear test 6 months ago, I opted for a sexual screening too and everything was negative. I asked my partner if he had slept with anyone, he denied it. Over the next few day things were strained, I had complications and lost the baby. The doctor explained the complications of having an STD whilst pregnant can cause miscarriages. Due to me losing the baby, my bf admitted he had a one night stand a few months ago. He would not tell me anything else, said he couldn't remember because he was drunk, he got angry with me for asking what he did and why. This resulted in him throwing me out his house. This was the day I lost the baby. This was at 9pm at night, I was in severe pain, still bleeding. I rang a taxi and caught the train home. I got home, showered and laid in bed numb from shock. My family were abroad so I decided not to ring and tell them. I did not tell anyone what had happened. I lost my baby and I was grieving alone. I felt his STD took my baby and he didn't care. My bf continued to ignore me, did not ask how I was or show any remorse for why he cheated on me or losing the baby. A week later, he is now begging me back. Crying and saying he feels like killing himself. I felt like I needed to know why he had a one night stand and why he did not care I miscarried. He said, he met ' a stranger on a night out' and went back to hers for sex. I told him, the very fact you went back to hers means you knew you were going to have sex, so it wasn't a random spur of the moment in the toilet or back street, you actually went back to have sex in her bed. All I can think about is the fact he must have tried to catch her attention, flirted, bought her some drinks, tried to whisper sweet nothings to her just to get her in bed. I am broken. I cant believe someone I loved could do this. I looked after his kids, spent hundreds of pounds on them, loved them, spoilt them and made them my kids. I'd stay in to look after his kids whilst he go the pub to catch up with friends. He said he did it because he was jealous of the attention O would receive from men looking at me whilst shopping or out with him. TBH, I never noticed it. I don't want to ever know him again. How can someone cheat, and then get angry at me for what he did and not care I lost our baby? All he is bothered about is the fact I will move on and meet someone else. I'm so disgusted and so heart broken. What did I do so wrong? I really need someone to tell me what I need to do as right now i cant think straight! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) What a sad story. How terrible for you. I'm truly sorry. You did nothing wrong. He is simply an arsehole who treated you terribly. If I were you I'd tell him to go to hell, and if he ever contacts you again you'll call the police. You do not need that kind of douchebag in your life. Edited August 12, 2015 by PegNosePete 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author karly85 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 What a sad story. How terrible for you. I'm truly sorry. You did nothing wrong. He is simply an arsehole you treated you terribly. If I were you I'd tell him to go to hell, and if he ever contacts you again you'll call the police. You do not need that kind of douchebag in your life. Hi, Can i contact the police in these circumstances? We have legal ties at the moment, with finance on cars and we have just signed a lease on a house so I cant 'block' him as I will need to speak to him regarding legality. But I don't want to speak to him about anything else or see his face ever. How do I win? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 You don't have to actually call the police. Just tell him that and hang up, and hopefully it will let him know exactly where he stands. If you need to communicate about the house or car then write a totally business-like e-mail or letter with no extra chatter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GettingOverItDay2Day Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Really sorry to hear your story, what a douchebag this guy sounds!! Im mean tbh its a given that you dont get back with him right, no matter how much he begs....This isnt just some random kiss with a girl in the club, much more serious than that! My advice would be is to NC him from now on and change your number if need be...Would also advise to seek out comfort in the form of friends and family as you will need them around you in this tough time! Now is the time to grieve over your miscarriage and you cant do this alone....Just take a little solace that there plenty of ppl who care about you and they will help you get through this....There is no time limit on grieving so dont worry about how long it will take, just take it one day at a time Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Karly Sorry for your loss. You did NOTHING wrong. He is a horrible person for what he did to you. No self respecting human being would cheat on you while pregnant, then throw you out on the day you loose the baby. He's what we call 'a worthless bucket of bolts' He didn't care what disease he brought back to you. Please DON'T EVER get back with him. Be glad you found out that he's a cheating liar before you spent more years of your life with him. He's stolen time that you could have been with an honest man. He is the insecure, selfish man, who passed an std on to his pregnant GF, then threw her out. Stay well away from him. He's bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAnimals Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Him cheating and being a total POS has nothing to do with you and all to do with the disgusting low life that he is. Consider this revelation a blessing in disguise. Link to post Share on other sites
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