Snowy90 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 So day 29 of no contact n he messages me. He says he's sorry for the late reply (to a msg he ignored a month earlier.) He said I don't hate you, I hope you don't hate me. He ends with I guess I'll see you around and I'll always love you... Wtf is this? N I'm stuck.. Ignore like he ignored me? Or write back n be blunt.. Something like... All good. No hard feelings. I think ignoring can give the impression you still care n it hurts to talk.. Being blunt says I can talk to you, but I don't have much time for you.. I also just found out he slept with someone else about 2 weeks or so after breaking up.. Don't know if he ignored me back then cause he was feelin guilty or something..? Appreciate your responses Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 he will always love you sounds like he is hugging you and still walking away. personally, I hate msg like this. it's so ambiguous and vague and does more harm than good. I say tell him ... yeah me too.. and leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 It seems like you still care and I don't see the point of reading so deep into responding or not. I wouldn't respond at all, why care what he thinks? Just forget about this and move on. No need to make things complicated. It took him so long to respond to you, and that last bit about him loving you is just trying to get a response from you. Don't fall for it. Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 So day 29 of no contact n he messages me. He says he's sorry for the late reply (to a msg he ignored a month earlier.) He said I don't hate you, I hope you don't hate me. He ends with I guess I'll see you around and I'll always love you... Wtf is this? N I'm stuck.. Ignore like he ignored me? Or write back n be blunt.. Something like... All good. No hard feelings. I think ignoring can give the impression you still care n it hurts to talk.. Being blunt says I can talk to you, but I don't have much time for you.. I also just found out he slept with someone else about 2 weeks or so after breaking up.. Don't know if he ignored me back then cause he was feelin guilty or something..? Appreciate your responses Ehh his reply doesn't even warrant a response so I am inclined to say let it go without responding, especially since it took so long for him to email. He is probably feeling guilty. It's not your job to help him alleviate his guilt. I guess you could also mirror him and take as much time as he took to respond and say something like "no hate here. onward!" but that would be playing games and pointless. Keep on with your no contact. Not worth it. That's my final answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I don't think I do still love him though.. So don't want to say that. I just want us to be able to be friends as we have a lot of mutual friends. I know I'm capable of a friendship, I don't think he could do it. Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul86 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I wouldn't respond Snowy90. If you do you are setting a precedent for him to dump all of his emotions on you through messaging. About a week ago my ex messaged me saying that she'd never be well again and that she's about as awful as one could be and still be breathing. As much as it KILLED me to ignore her, I had to do it because it was not okay to disrespect my wish to be left alone to heal. It is now at this time where you need to put your foot down and set and adhere to some major boundaries regarding your ex. Regarding friendship, let that happen naturally. You are both still feeling pretty raw only one month in NC. If anything, I would not even fathom a friendship until all of the romantic feelings have completely dissipated, plus additional time thereafter. If you two are going to be friends, the timeline is not important - use this time to get yourself well and back on your feet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I don't really have feelings anymore. I care about him, but I don't love him, the break up actually made me realise I haven't loved him for a long time. He's still a nice guy though and we are gonna see each other a bit, n we go camping a lot our friends, I know we will both be invited to things like that a lot, and drinks at friends.. I dunno if ignoring is making it more awkward when these situations happen. I don't want to give him the vibe I'm not ready to be friends.. There is always the chance he will try contact again.. I could just do it then,. But he may not cause he might think I'm hurting or hate him Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 His response was closed ended. It didn't require a reply. I'd delete the text and move on w/out replying. When people ignore others like this, it doesn't mean they care at all. It could be interpreted as not even caring enough to bother replying. Just let it lie. If you reply, you'll be staring at your phone for the rest of the night and days hoping for a reply. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAnimals Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 If the chances of you not seeing him again are high, than I would say dont reply. But if you do share mutual friends and you want to avoid awkwardness, I would reply something short but that doesnt really allow him to start a conversation so to speak.. Something like "no worries, take care" . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Crap like: "I love you, but I'm not in love with you", "I'll always love you", "I never meant to hurt you", "I still want you in my life", are insincere & meaningless drivel. I'd rather hear the honest truth if anything at all. Stuff like: "I'm with someone who is better than you & you're a loser that's still single", "I still want to have sex with you, but not commit to you", "I don't want you seeing anyone else, until I think you should", etc 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Crap like: "I love you, but I'm not in love with you", "I'll always love you", "I never meant to hurt you", "I still want you in my life", are insincere & meaningless drivel. I'd rather hear the honest truth if anything at all. Stuff like: "I'm with someone who is better than you & you're a loser that's still single", "I still want to have sex with you, but not commit to you", "I don't want you seeing anyone else, until I think you should", etc This ^^^ x 100. A friend of mine's husband said this when he left her with 4 kids (the youngest a new baby). It's BS that they say so they don't seem like the bad guy. Let's face it, if it was true they wouldn't be leaving you, would they? Ignore it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Another vote for meaningless drivel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 So he doesn't respond to your message for a month and you think you want to be friends with someone like this? I'm with the majority here. No reply. Any reply will make him feel ok that he ignored you for a month. If I'm him and get any response from you, I'm like "cool, I was an ass for blowing her off and she still likes me" It was selfish of him to send that to you. You shouldn't hate him, but you shouldn't like him and want to be friends. Maybe way down the road when you are indifferent, but he doesn't deserve your friendship. I hope you don't just want him in your life however you can get him. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 There's a possibility he was buzzed and feeling lovey. I wouldn't take it too seriously at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Who gives a flying fc%k what he thinks of you ignoring his silly messages? He didnt take too much thought in ignoring you for over a month so now it is time to return the favour. Honestly, why treat someone in a polite manner when they treated you like an old shoe. This message from him is breadcrumbs to see if you are still on the hook, if he can still rely on you as Plan B if things dont work out with other girls and to make sure he can put his head on his pillow at night knowing that he can be a huge disrespectful douche monkey and you will still engage with him. Ignore it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 This is what I've learned in the year that I've been here: If you have to post the question on here, don't reply. A rule of thumb that has worked well for me (thanks to vets like Chi, Simon, mightycpa, and others) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 If the chances of you not seeing him again are high, than I would say dont reply. But if you do share mutual friends and you want to avoid awkwardness, I would reply something short but that doesnt really allow him to start a conversation so to speak.. Something like "no worries, take care" . That's what I was thinking along the lines of Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Thanks for all your responses! Your right. Not worth his politeness, not worth mine Link to post Share on other sites
Bubberfly Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Every time I've ever received a message like this, the guy was giving me his last goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
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