VirginiaBob Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 She left me over 2 weeks ago because she says, "She never really loved me". We were engaged to be married, so the fact that she said yes to the proposal 9 months ago, would make me guess that her line was just a cop out. We were to be married on Jan 1st, less than 2 weeks from now. The real deal is that she was talking to a guy for the last 2 months of our relationship on the phone. I knew about it since she left her cell phone with me regularly and he (lets just refer to him as Fred) called many times and hung up, but his name showed up on the cell phone quite often, but I never confronter her about it. After the breakup though, she started name dropping him. Like when I told her I wasn't going to help her move her stuff out since I really didn't want to be around her anymore, she said that she really needed my help because her friend Fred was at work at night. She never mentioned Fred as her friend before we broke up and I've known her a long time. Anyways, so after thousands of my dollars were spent on her, her ring, the wedding, paying for her mortgage, groceries, vehicle, etc. etc. etc., she left me. And I was devasted (still am), but I have ruled out any chance of us getting back together. Ever since though, she keeps emailing me. Not exactly significant emails either, just about petty stuff like "The kid's miss you" (oh yea, she has kids from a previous marriage), or "Can I have my key back" (like as if I really wanted to sneak into her house some day, I couldn't go make 100 copies anyways before I gave her's back), and the latest, "I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas". I wish she'd just leave me alone, and I'm not at the point right now where I am emotionally able to block her emails, so don't suggest that. I haven't responded to any of them since the one a couple days after the breakup where I said, "You are dead to me". She ruined my life, I still love her, but I can't be with her - not that she has asked for that anyways, she's just contacting me way too much and she knows I don't want that. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Are you asking for advice? You really didn't specify that - seems more like just a moment of expressing your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VirginiaBob Posted December 20, 2004 Author Share Posted December 20, 2004 Oh yea, they are always really short messages without any substance. I think it's just to torture me and remind me that she still there. I don't understand though, she's the one that made the decision to leave and she knows how much she hurt me when she did. Do you know how hard it is to have to cancel your wedding plans (without any help from her) and call all the guests (70 from my side) to tell them what happened so they could cancel thier travel plans, return gifts, etc? Is she just messing with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Honestly, I'd say she's experiencing some guilt. She probably feels bad for what she's done and she thinks that if she keeps in touch and tries to continue a "friendship" with you the blow won't be as hard on you. Unfortunately, her guilt is a part of the process when she decided to leave so she needs to understand that her trying to "help" you deal with the situation is really just a way to help her deal with her guilt. I'd reply and tell her that you understand what she's trying to do, but if she really wants to be considerate and help you through this then it'd be best if she'd just stopping emailing you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts