This will be a tough break up

[aa82]

Hi all,

 

I've used this site for a long time dating back to my very first break up...Got tons of help by just reading the posts here...NC definitely helped for my first few relationships and I know it works.

 

But this will be a tricky one. Hard? Maybe, maybe not...each break up I've had seemed to have prepared me for the next...Too early to tell as we've just broken up last night. She said that her feelings have changed and that she doesn't feel the same way anymore, after just over a year together.

 

The tricky part is that: we live and work together. She moved in to my place, but now she's searching for a new place to live. In the mean time she might crash at one of her good friends' place.

 

I'm not mad at her, and she's not mad at me. We sat in the living room crying about the loss but we also brought up the fact that we've done a lot of cool things together. Through each other we have met each other's friends that have now become really close ones.

 

I didn't get a good sleep last night, she was in bed where we both cried ourselves to sleep. I think I woke up just after an hour and couldn't go back to sleep...I decided to go here in LS.org again and read through BU posts.

 

When I finally woke up beside her this morning, we kinda just stared at each other, a few tears from both of us but no words uttered.

 

We got ready to both go to work since we carpool. I'm now at the cafeteria having breakfast and typing this. She's upstairs in the office trying to hold back the tears, as have I. I don't think any of our friends know what has happened yet, except for her Mom.

 

Like I said, we don't hate each other, but the pain of the loss is definitely here; for both of us. If you have any advice, I'd gladly read it and be very grateful. But I think first and foremost I just needed to write this.

 

 

Thanks.

[Robert]

moderator bump

[ja123]

It sounds so sad, what you've described, yet poetic in some way. It brought a tear to my eye.

 

 

I hope you feel better with each passing day.

 

 

Sorry for your heartbreak.

[aisuru]

Sometimes breakups happen to two good people that just aren't compatible for the long haul. Those sometimes hurt the most as it can be confusing how something is missing even when you don't fight, argue, etc.

 

 

Appreciate what you gained from the relationship and take that knowledge and experience with you as you go forward.

 

 

Lots of healing wishes for you.

[joseb]

It's hard if she is still living with you and carpooling.

 

It would probably be better is she can move to stay at her friends place and if she can get to work another way.

 

You sound like you are both handeling it maturely, and it's going as well as a breakup can. As you have been there before, you probably realise that there will be bad times and better times as you recover.

 

Best of luck.

[aa82]

Thanks for the replies and best wishes guys. I really appreciate it.

 

Tonight we decided to spend time separately, each with our own group of friends to break the news. She is staying with her friends tonight and getting to work by herself tomorrow.

 

My buddies were so blind sided with the news, for a good minute they thought I was pulling their legs. After giving them the background info, I told them that for me, it would be a shame if the friendships we have cultivated from each other would disappear as well. They hold no grudge against her at all, I'm just hoping that her friends won't hold any against me as they have become very dear to me.

 

Today started out with tears, but I'm going to bed tonight feeling okay. I might actually get some sleep. I'm gonna try to prepare for this weekend, when she probably be moving her stuff out. It might be a good thing that my other set of friends are having a pig roast, i can maybe hang out there while she takes care of her stuff.

 

 

Thanks again for reading.