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Just needed to vent to avoid breaking NC.


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Today started off a very good day for the most part. Of course he was on my mind throughout the day, until...it was nighttime. I got home from work and then all of a sudden it just all came back. His cruel words. How could someone who claimed they loved me say such hurtful things?

 

Some nights I don't even know why I cry. Sometimes I think it's because I miss him, sometimes I think it's the fact that he's back with his ex, and sometimes I think it's just because I get lonely. I always have these random bursts of tears when I'm alone and it just hurts all over again like it did the first day he told me he was "moving on" (although the he technically moved backwards by going back with his ex).

 

I just keep thinking to myself like why wasn't I worth it? How could he look me in the face and tell me that the whole time he was with me, he still loved her? I have so many questions and I just cannot wait until the day I don't care to know the answers.

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imtrying211

I am right there with you! It's been about 6 weeks since the BU, 3 weeks of NC. We were together for a little over a year, lived together, work in the same building. He went back to his ex as well, his abusive ex who treated him like crap. And I think, really, you're happier with her than with me?! I have the same unanswered questions that drive me crazy, the same crying fits that come out of nowhere. One minute I think I'm OK, I'm over it/him, then it all hits me, for no apparent reason. I literally argue out loud to myself, he went back to her, he never loved you, you don't need him! Yet, I still miss him, and am still holding onto hope that he'll come back. What the hell is wrong with me?!?! It's an ongoing internal battle that I'm trying my hardest to win. I just want him/us/them out of my head already, for good. I am making progress though, each day gets a little bit easier, and I get a little bit stronger. I'm hoping by the time his relationship fails, which I'm sure it will, and he wants to come back, I will listen to my head and not my heart, and tell him to f off. I can't stand the thought of having to go through this again, and I'm sure you can't either. All we can do now is let go of what was, accept what is, and move the f on. There is no other choice.

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GA000 Jenny

Poor thing! Try to get busy by doing something that you enjoy, like hobbies or friends. There are so many things to do that will bring you comfort.

Yes it's hard to believe, but men are a JOKE (see my post for more details), they tell you that they love you blah blah blah all b.sh.t.

Just forget what he told you: it clearly wasn't true.

 

A big hug

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Yes it's hard to believe, but men are a JOKE

 

Come on! Super mean...

Not all men are a joke just like not all WOMEN are a joke..

 

they tell you that they love you blah blah blah all b.sh.t.

Just forget what he told you: it clearly wasn't true.

 

 

This is not necessarily true. As a guy I can tell you that a man can be in a new relationship while not being over his last. He can still love the new girl just as much as the last. To make assumptions that "he never loved me" due to him returning to a crazy ex is simply wrong.

 

My last ex was in mind suffering for Borderline Personality Disorder. What a nightmare she became after the honeymoon phase ended and she let her hair down. She was all over the place. One minute loved me, the next breaking up with me.. I could go on and on about how toxic the RS was.. I met my now GF a few months after the ex dumped me. I fell in love with her but still had love for the bat $hit crazy ex as well. The ex approached me 6 months after she ended it and wanted me back. Said all the right things. I said no. She keep at it for a few months. I'd be lying if I didn't "think" about a reconciliation but loved my new GF and I didn't miss the emotional, toxic relationship with her.

 

Ironically, my GF's last BF did the same thing. He was with her for 1.5 years and went back to his crazy, abusive ex dumping my now GF. He married her like two weeks later.

 

I spoke to a psychologist friend of mine after my relationship ended with my crazy ex. I asked why I stayed thru all her BS and what was wrong with me?!?! She explained in great detail that people can become addicted to abusive partners and in some cases, the addiction is worse than drugs. They simply can't break away. When my crazy ex ended us, it was only cuz I couldn't break my addiction. When she was sweet and nice, it was a POWERFUL drug that I really craved and made me overlook at her other $hit that came with it. The psychologist also said she DREADS new clients that come in with those types of addictions as they are hard to break.

 

SO, to the women who's guys went back to the crazy ex, don't ASSUME it was something you were not doing or not providing or there was something wrong with you. Yes, there could be some of that but it's not always the case. Also don't think they didn't love you. I'm sure most of them did but their addiction to the ex was simply stronger. Some guys (like some girls) just don't like smooth, drama free relationships. They covet the drama, instability and dysfunction of the relationship with the crazy girl..

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