Should I make it work with him..again

[Everlastinglite]

So basically i havent seen my ex since new years.

I havent spoken to him in a little more than 40 days now, but he contacted me for the first time about a week an a half ago. I ignored it bc i wanted to go 100 days nc and im almost half way there:)

 

I was the one to break up with him..but in my heart i didnt want to. I just knew he wasnt giving me what i needed and he wouldnt change. But he had my heart and i was devistated to let him go. I knew he didnt want to end it either...but what else was i supposed to do in that situation?

 

Its been more than a month since we spoke. Im thinking about breaking my nc and maybe trying one last time. He still has my heart and he was my first bf and first everything. He will never fade away ..i just know.

 

Do u think i should give this one last time to see if he really does want this is to work out?? I would do anything to go back to where we were.... I really do love him. </3

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

What exactly were the reasons for the breakup? Are they things he would be willing to change? I would definitely have a talk with him and let him know where you stand and why you broke it off in the first place. I would also try to start things off slow again. Make him earn his spot in your life back. That's just what I would do in that situation.

[sutsie]

I wouldn't make the assumption he's still down for that if you dumped him. Anybody that dumps me is crossed off the list. Prepare yourself for that if you do try again. Best wishes.

[Everlastinglite]

I needed communication and to know that he still cares for me. But all he did was be very distant and cold towards me. I just had enough of it after 2 weeks of not hearing a thing from him....I just couldnt take it and we even spoke about it how i find it disrespectful.

And im not sure if he wants to get back or not but he has begged me to hear him out a week after i broke up with him. And then he sent me a message asking how im doing n things like that which i know doesnt indicate a thing. I was just think about breaking nc to see if it could work again. Maybe it wont who knows...its just been on my mind lately.

[joseb]

I just knew he wasnt giving me what i needed and he wouldnt change.

 

What was he not giving you?

How long were you together?

[aloneinaz]

My Momma always said- "people don't change" and I've found it to be very true in my 5 decades on this planet.

 

Broken relationships RARELY last long term. You broke up with him for a clear reason. It sounds like you're young and most first relationships are simply that, first relationships.

 

Personally, you should give yourself more time to reflect on that relationship and you'll probably realize you might the right call in ending it.

[minime13]

So basically i havent seen my ex since new years.

I havent spoken to him in a little more than 40 days now, but he contacted me for the first time about a week an a half ago. I ignored it bc i wanted to go 100 days nc and im almost half way there:)

 

I was the one to break up with him..but in my heart i didnt want to. I just knew he wasnt giving me what i needed and he wouldnt change. But he had my heart and i was devistated to let him go. I knew he didnt want to end it either...but what else was i supposed to do in that situation?

 

Its been more than a month since we spoke. Im thinking about breaking my nc and maybe trying one last time. He still has my heart and he was my first bf and first everything. He will never fade away ..i just know.

 

Do u think i should give this one last time to see if he really does want this is to work out?? I would do anything to go back to where we were.... I really do love him. </3

 

If he wasn't giving you what you needed, and you knew he wouldn't change, then what would be different now? Do you want to go through that same devastation again?

 

My first serious relationship, which turned into an engagement, was one where I was very immature about relationships and what it took to be in one (not saying this is where you are at, but just giving my own experience). I had the mindset that things would change, and aspects of him would change. That I could make it happen, and if these little things changed, we'd be so happy together. I was having a discussion with an older and much wiser co-worker, and they said to me what made me realize this relationship would most certainly end in divorce down the road if we were to get married; you can change yourself, but can only accept the qualities of other people.

 

People can change. Sometimes people will change. You shouldn't expect it, though, because it only comes from within.

 

If you want to try to travel this road again, you really do need to be clear about what your wants and needs are. If he decides he can do it, then maybe it's worth trying again. If he can't, then you'll have to decide whether or not those things are something you can accept. If not, then you'll just be ending up devastated again.

[Twigyy]

I would say that you're the lucky few who realises that their partner isn't giving what you need, or they don't support you, etc, so you went ahead and dumped them even though you love them very much. I say that because I see that as a part of healing yourself. People here spent MONTHS trying to heal, and somehow they can't even let go.

 

Everyone deserves to be loved by their partner. If he doesn't love you anymore, there's nothing you can do really. I know you tried your best but once someone loses interest, it is very hard to get it back. I would take this as something to learn I guess. You know what to and what not to do, and your next one will be better.

 

Your first love will be a special one, and it's just like every first chapter in every book. Its always nice and cute in the first chapter, but once you finish reading it you can't unsee it, but to move on to the next one. Spend some time alone, and I'm sure that soon you'll love again.