I invited myself for the holiday and then didn't go.

[lifestyle1]

well he moved out Nov 1. We talk every day in hopes of reconciling. Anger issues for both of us keep us separate for now. Well he had asked me where was I going for Thanksgiving and I said my G friend, but really wanted to be with him an his family. So I eventually invited myself (and kids).

Came down with a nasty cold/cough and he said, (genuinely) we can celebrate Fri or Sat, I don't want you to get everybody sick. So I decided to stay in bed. He had not called me on Thanksgiving so at 2 I called him & LM. Called again at 4. He worked, and was going to familys house. I ended up taking the kids to a movie, and at 9:30 called him to see if he wanted to come over when he drops his kids off (who live a block away) He said no. I was angry about that and cut off the call. I tried to call back and he turned off his phone.

 

Jeez this sounds bad. Sounds like he didnt want to deal WITH ME. The truth hurts, and I cried myself to sleep. Ya know the whole push/pull game? You don't want me - so I want you BAD? and vice versa.

 

He had his family around him, and I was alone - feeling bad for myself (no family-no friends close by)

 

I started to think of all the things I didnt like about him. The recreational coke that kept him up until 3 a.m the 36 pack of beer he consumed with 4 friends.

The fact that he didnt care how I was feeling to call me.

 

I can't belive I still care? The holiday just empahasizes that I am alone.

 

I closed my cell phone and want to unplug the house phone today (I know he will call)

I'm hurt- and wonder if this shouldn't be MY SIGN that things ended 3 weeks ago - get over it= move on. etc. But here I am awake in the middle of the night contemplating all of this.

[Merin]

Blah!

 

Sometimes the "commiserating" after the relationship seems worse than the actual relationship..

 

Just from your other threads regarding this guy it's my opinion that he really likes to play games.. the "highs and the lows" it leaves you never really feeling understood, loved or cared about..

 

I'm sure he will call you today as well.. at this point I really feel you've got to tell him you're NOT getting what you NEED in this relationship.. and the route the two of you've been taking isn't resolving the issues.. he either wants to get into the relationship and be there working on it with you, or he doesn't.

 

I hope you're feeling better today and got some rest.

[lifestyle1]

I'll try. I keep checking my cell and get pissed that he hasn't called yet mixed with sadness. I dont want my kids to see me puting, but its all I can do to get out of bed.

 

I showered made the beds and got ready to leave the house - don't want to deal with the crowds today, but feel like I need to do something. My skin is crawling.