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Confused by my own feelings after a breakup...


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Hi, before I start I just want to say that the threads on this forum really helped me to feel a bit better while I was going through the worst of it... This place, and the attitudes here, are great.

 

So, on with my story.

 

A couple of weeks ago my gf broke up with me. I'm quite aware of the reasons (I beleive we were both taking each other for granted, not giving each other enough space, esp at exam time (high stress)) but I was still suprised that it actually happened and destroyed when it did. I cried in front of her. I *didn't* beg her back, but I made it clear that was what I wanted. So anyway, a couple of days go by, we talk, I am still completely miserable. A few more pass and now I feel better, have thought about the way things were and the way things are and feel alot better, feel that I have learned from the experience and that really, we had to break up for me to learn fast what I was doing wrong. I hope to never make the same mistakes again.

 

So at this point I've decided to just be nice and hang out with her, not act like I want her back, not do NC, just be her friend. Of course I *do* want her back but chasing her around isn't going to do anything but drive her away.

 

Now the part thats confusing the hell out of me is... a couple of days ago I was totally in love with her. Now I just kind of.. vaguely miss her. This shift in feeling really spooked me out a lot.. because I was totally in love. :( I kinda miss the feeling even if it hurt.

 

When I see her in person I feel alot more for her but I dont see her very often now so yeah... I suppose I am just wondering what other peoples thoughts are on why this might be are and if anyone else has ever felt this...

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It's called progress...

 

You know, sometimes even when you really love someone or care for them the relationship can become impossible for various reasons.. letting go always hurts, and I believe even more so when you really love the other person...

 

You still have strong feelings for her but distance can often put a new perspective on things...

 

At this point, I think you've come to terms with what is.. it doesn't stop you from wanting what was, but it has allowed you to accept that things have changed, and with that you've been able to maybe see things in a different way, and to perhaps recognize that the relationship while maybe very good at times, also had not so great elements to it as well...

 

With that comes progress is letting go, and feeling better.

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Wow, you're really, really, really lucky to be able to feel that way. I haven't spoke to my goodfernothing lying ex girlfriend in three weeks and I still get a feeling like i'm suffocating from a kick in the stomach everytime i think of her. I wish I could feel the same as you and jsut let go and move on but unfortunately I still

love the decietfull b*tch. My head knows she's no good but my heart just can't follow yet. Count yourself as very fortunate!

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its me again, the thread starter.

 

Oddball.. I feel for you. I've had lying/cheating gf's before and its absolutly horrible.

 

As to the way I feel... I don't like it. My gf never treated me anything but great, she never lied or was deceitful, she didnt ditch me over another guy... we still talk and are friendly. And I still miss her alot.. particulairly when I'm alone. Gah I wish I knew what I wanted. Its bad enough not knowing what other people want but not knowing what you want is 10x worse.

 

Well I guess some other info I was with this girl for 2 years... a couple of weeks (more like a month) seems a short time to 'get over it'. But who knows.

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