Oh my dumper

[Aries82]

Well, since my last thread about my dumper ( she came to see me from another country - 4 hours driving) few things happened because I was a fool again and ate all the bread crumbs from her. So, several days after she showed up on my doorstep, she sent me a message asking to talk to her on skype, I refused, because I was really depressed and confused, she told me that she thought that I would like to talk to her , I respond yes but not now.

 

But day after that, huge mistake, I sent her a message to meet with me on skype and she was there in a second. We talked 5 hours, about everything, my family, her family, us in the past, our mistakes, our good times, she was flirting with me, but she wants me as friend. I asked her about the motives of that "friendship", is that a way for reconciliation in the future, she said NO, mistake again. I said to her that I can not be her friend because I care to much about her, she understood, and said that she has really hard time because of break up, and that is not easier for her only because she made that decision, she cry every day and she is really depressed. I really felt sorry for her, and offered her to be there for her every time when she needs someone to talk about anything, mistake again.

 

We said goodbye, she was very flirty with me, I was also, and we said we will be in touch. In all that I saw maybe a chance to get her back, I was happy about that and full of hope. Few days pass by and not even a word from her. Christmas eve came and I was struggling with decision sending or not sending to her marry Christmas, and I did, wished her all the best to her and her family, bla, bla, bla, and she responded: thank you, that is all. Ok, I was down, but that is fine.

 

New year eve came, and I cried almost all night, it was the first New year eve in 7 years without her, I was drunk. Midnight came, she did not sent anything, so maybe about 2 am I sent her this - R.I.P. you and me and song about wedding that looked like a funeral, and wrote her that is our wedding, I was drunk. She responded day after with a message : some day, maybe, we can find our peace...That was it, and it was my last straw, because I thought she was telling me to leave her alone.

 

Then I sent her a mail full of my rage and said to her that I am not her toy, I condemned her ways that she left me and brought out all the anger for the pain she caused me and wrote to her to f... off. She responded on my mail, I was surprised, and said that she is sorry that I feel that way and that she can not look back now on that, and that we do not understand each other and maybe we should not, that she is not feeling very well, same as me, but she will be, I will be and we shall be fine, also she was apologizing for the message she sent to me saying that she could write more, but she was only able to wish a peace for both of us for New year.

 

I do not know what I want with this thread, I do not have anyone to talk about that, perhaps just to throw all the bitterness from myself. Well life sucks and I am not fine. Sorry about my english, I know.

Edited January 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited for paragraphs and readability

[Marco Valerio]

To avoid all the suffering you should go NC, then there will be no mistakes!!!

[Aries82]

Thanks, I know but devil in me does not give me peace, I just can not believe still that she left me, we were so great together, we were always told each other that we feel and think in same way. Know it seems that I was living a lie, for 7 years. That is hard to get over and accept.

[Marco Valerio]

Yes I know, but you have to think that lots of people here thought the same about their ex gf/bf, you are not the first one.

What you once had is gone. You could say that the person that remains in your mind and your ex are different people.

 

All my best wishes!!