ltomlinson81 Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 I was doing NC for about a month with my ex, which was fine, but complicated due to the fact that we have a dog together. I have to help him out with the dog once in a while, so I have ended up unable to avoid contact with him. I didn't think this would work well at all, and I thought I would have a really hard time, but actually, it has been pretty good so far. I am still in love with him and want to be with him, but can't because of what he did to me (cheated). However, I am beginning to be able to see/talk to him without it turning ugly. We are very careful with what we say to one another, and while it is a bit awkward, it is going well. Has anyone else had any success in being cordial/friendly with an ex? Is this all going to come crashing down on me? Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 I'm still seeing my ex as well. We're "on a break" after 3 years. Nothing really went wrong in the relationship, we have always been an exceptionally good couple and nothing changed up until the day she told me. I'm still not mad, she's been totally honest. It wasn't another guy, she just needs some time. So for the first week we talked a few times and a week later she came out and we had a big talk and got everything out. Since then I've been talking to her about once every 1 or 2 weeks, we also exchange the occasional E-mail. I went up and hung out with her one night and everything was great, just like regular. I haven't seen her in over 3 weeks. I talked to her last week and she told me she misses me, she knows it will work out and all this stuff. I'm probably not going to see her until Thanksgiving. So yeah, I'm seeing my ex still and everything is fine. We rarely fought in the relationship and we haven't even argued at all since she told me all this, we've been just fine. The thing is, I'm still considering NC. I don't WANT to go on NC, but alot of people tell me it will be good because it'll make her miss me. So I don't know, I want to continue to see her but if not talking to her will make her want me ever more, that sounds good. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 It took a while but my ex and I can talk on very friendly terms now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ltomlinson81 Posted November 5, 2004 Author Share Posted November 5, 2004 It is good to hear that there are others out there who are doing well with being friendly with an ex. Initially, I thought that NC was the only way to get through it. Now I feel differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 I think that the person in the situation is the only one fit to judge whether or not NC is the best choice. But like I said, if they're saying they don't love you, it's over, **** like that, then you shouldn't call them. If they still care about you and you guys are on good terms, then there's no reason to drop off the face of the earth. Link to post Share on other sites
katty Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 my b/f and I got along great except we had a 3 hour distance between us and 2 busy careers. We broke up (his choice, I just agreed even though my heart was breaking. ) We were still talking on the phone and stuff and telling each other that we loved one another, etc. and then he didn't call for a week, when he did call he started making excuses for not and I was so cool about the whole thing, I said its ok you you don't have to anymore remember? We had a good talk and then I didn't hear back from him I left him one message and one text in 2 months time. He text me back saying he would call the next day but didn't. We were split for 2 months and one night after visiting friends and drinking too much wine, I caved, I called him and my whole world came crashing down. He announced to me that he was engaged. I was shocked. I said you mean to tell me you fell in love and got engaged in 2 months and he said yeah then he said didn't mean to hurt you. I can't remember much after that, I said something like didn't mean to hurt me. I don't know if I hung up the phone or if he did. To be honest I was still stuck in the Im engaged part. Later that night his new g/f called me asking me if I had seen him the weekend before, etc. I told her I didn't want to play these games and she started saying please talk to me girl to girl I need to know these things. she ask me if I loved him, would I have married him, etc. etc. I was totally confused. I just wanted to hang up and get back to my weeping. I didn't let her know I was hurt and then she said something like well Blaines never had anything but great things to say about you, I felt sick to my stomach, I said well I am sure glad I gave the 2 of you something to laugh about. I was about to start crying and she was so damn nice it makes me sick. She started telling me how it wasn't like that, and none of it made sense to me. It still doesn't make sense to me. SO anyways since the break up I guess you could say I have had more contact with his new gf than him she has called me twice, nice both times. So who knows if NC is the way to go or not. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
gobain Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 Itomlinson81, Would you have tried to remain cordial/friends if you didn't have to b/c of the dog? UCFKevin, How long did it take you to get back to being friends? Do you try calling again awhile later if they don't respond at first? How do you get there? Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 i talk with my ex but I am fidning her to be boring as hell now. There is just a fakeness to it all...it sometimes feels like she has blocked out the whole relationship and sees me as someone she is jsut meeting for the first time and that bugs me. Link to post Share on other sites
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