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Never thought I was breakable before. Help!


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hello ...

 

To cut it short am a 31 yrs old successful engineer - fell in love 3 years ago with a 24 yrs old girl - the most beautiful lovely,kind girl in the universe,she loved me more than I could imagine- i gave her myself and everything and decided my life will be hers . i screwed afterwords and did stupid things (like being overprotective and jealous some times ) things i saw could be treated after she suddenly broke up with me and decided to live her life and set herself free from that love that imprisoned her -

 

In my worst dream i didn't think it can happen we just mention it- no need to tell you how things were perfect between us -we got engaged and were preparing our home :) During my previous experience i never had these feelings with a girl- she was so young when we first met but she learnt me what love really is and it was my first time to understand why people do all they do - i never thought a girl can make me cry - never thought i can reach the state that i want to talk to anybody -anybody who just tells me "don't worry she ll come to her senses and come back to you" - i hated those people who told me "move on" nobody could feel me or understand me - i stalked her page on facebook everyday seeing her happy and posting new photos with her friends and family -

 

I began searching for someone to tell me she is just trying to move on but don't worry inside she is just dying like you - don't need to tell you how my state can go from total sadness and depression to somehow just good and accepting then in a minute back dying with my beats going so fast and a real knife inserted in my heart - "don't really know how the heart really aches " the lost feeling - i have read almost everything here and there and took advices from everyone- its been 2 months now - blaming myself in the first place of making her fall ot of love - but can not find anything fatal that cut me out like that - she was crying for me to stay with her an extra hour few days before the break up and i stayed she was hugging me like her mom and she always did> there was no any signs she is falling out of love - her family didn't like me :) after our last fight they made good use of it ---

 

Going from these thoughts to blaming myself of what i did and didn't do my heart is shattered into powder -sometimes have that feeling she will send you a message in a few - then observing her talking to the nation but not me -- gets me back to the grave. believe me everybody "you were never in love if you didn't love her more after she left -

 

I am sure i may feel better later but i believe that there are certain kind of love that do not follow any rules - the only advice i can give "never invest more than you can afford to lose" and stop from time to time and rethink and re-evaluate yourself and read,read,seek advice about big and small stuff- its good to do things with out being told and wish you all best of luck

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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I donno...during our relation love was mutual and that what I felt till the moment she was crying and breaking up with me ....and I think the thing that is taking me back from moving on is that am throwing all the blame on her parents who affect her so much and she cant do a thing without them happy about it ...and I knew they advised her to run...she is happy with the decision tho , and I am not going after her any more established no contact 16 days ago ...if she miss me and the feeling was stronger than the bond with her parents she ll come .....if she needed to breath some fresh air and experience ..I also cant be sad about that as long as she ll see her happiness in that.... but to stop loving her is not just in my hands for the meantime .

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