Lucy10202 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 So my boyfriend of 3 months had just broken up with me for another girl. Apprently he was in love with her almost the whole time we were dating but he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. Now I didn't want to hold him back so I told him it was ok to break up with me and date the other girl. I know I said that but it hurts a lot. Apprently the other girl has no idea I even exist, my ex asked her out the day we broke up and she said yes, and he wants to stay friends. I don't know how to act. I want him to be happy but it's hurting me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I wouldn't remain friends with him. He left you for a girl that he was involved with during the time of y'all relationship. Then he has the nerve to ask her out on the SAME DAY the two of you broke up. Wow!He had his own agenda the whole time. He definitely doesn't care about you or your feelings.Let him be with her and move on. Its a good thing the relationship was only for 3 months and you didn't invest a lot of your time and energy in him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 So my boyfriend of 3 months had just broken up with me for another girl. Apprently he was in love with her almost the whole time we were dating but he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. Now I didn't want to hold him back so I told him it was ok to break up with me and date the other girl. I know I said that but it hurts a lot. Apprently the other girl has no idea I even exist, my ex asked her out the day we broke up and she said yes, and he wants to stay friends. I don't know how to act. I want him to be happy but it's hurting me. Sorry you're hurting. You sound like you have a heart of gold. The way you handled things says alot about you. You seemed to have handled everything with dignity and class. The best thing can do right now is try to be strong and stay away from him until you heal completely. If you do run into him, be polite, but very brief and remove yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nadine5 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 I'm so sorry, Lucy. Please don't be friends with him. Cut off all contact. Do not hope for reconnection. Hang out with your friends and people who love you, and you will find someone else. By the way, it's ok to feel bad. And don't feel like you HAVE to want him to be happy. You don't... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Two words: no contact 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 So my boyfriend of 3 months had just broken up with me for another girl. Apprently he was in love with her almost the whole time we were dating but he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. No, I suspect he was two-timing you and didn't want to get found out, so finally came clean... Now I didn't want to hold him back so I told him it was ok to break up with me and date the other girl. I know I said that but it hurts a lot. Apprently the other girl has no idea I even exist, That's what makes me think he was dating her behind your back. Otherwise, he would have said to her "I'm with someone else, but I think I'm going to break up with her when the time is right, and tell her I love you." She didn't know you exist? She didn't know he was with you.... my ex asked her out the day we broke up and she said yes, The VERY day he broke up with you? Of course he did. That's the most sensitively-callous thing I've ever heard. It's also a lie. I expect he told you this, huh? and he wants to stay friends. To keep you as his 'fall-back' girl if he and she don't work out, I presume? Yes, we've heard that one before, you know.... I don't know how to act. I want him to be happy but it's hurting me. Go complete No Contact, ignore him, kick him to the kerb, and she can have him. Remember, if he cheated on you (which I'm almost 100% sure he did) he's capable of cheating on her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucy10202 Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 Thanks for the advice! I think I'm going to stop all contact with him. Link to post Share on other sites
ilovedmike Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 So my boyfriend of 3 months had just broken up with me for another girl. Apprently he was in love with her almost the whole time we were dating but he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. Now I didn't want to hold him back so I told him it was ok to break up with me and date the other girl. I know I said that but it hurts a lot. Apprently the other girl has no idea I even exist, my ex asked her out the day we broke up and she said yes, and he wants to stay friends. I don't know how to act. I want him to be happy but it's hurting me. I know EXACTLY how you feel. It hurts when the one you love or deeply care for breaks up with you for someone else. It makes you feel like you are not good enough and then on top of that like you have been deceived. I say cutting all contact is the best way to go because I don't know about you but I would imagine keeping contact would be like keeping hope and there is none. There are no words I could say to heal your broken heart. All we can do is hope. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 It sure hurts but don't beat yourself over it, don't let it get you down. You know your own worth, you done nothing wrong. Its all on him, go NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nolan 93 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm sorry you are going through this heart break. Over time it will get better trust me, I was just like you but I was with my ex for nine months. Then she left me for her ex and yah so all ****ed up. You will miss him and be hurt and confused but give it time, you'll start moving on. Cause after all that's all we can do right?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 OP - Sorry you had to go through this terrible experience, but be thankful that your ex showed you his true colours three months in, rather than lets say, three years in. As everyone has said here, the only thing that you can do now is reject any ridiculous offers of "friendship" from him. That is just a way for him to keep the door open to come back to you should things not work out with the new girl. A person who can two time you as he has will not make a good friend. Go complete NC and move on as best you can. NC all the way - adhere to the holy trinity of NC being Block, Delete and Avoid all forms of communication You deserve better than to be some idiots backup plan. You are not to be kept on the shelf or a just in case. Move on with your life and take it as a blessing that the space has been created for you to meet someone who doesnt see you as an option, but as the one, the only one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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