Playing games or is she done?

[llleonidus]

Hello. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Iv'e been dating a girl who is 20 and im 29, she is far more mature than most girls her age has her own place nice car good job and we hit it off so i decided to roll with it.

 

We only dated for 6 weeks and had a good time together constantly laughing joking, spending a lot of time together, she always said how hot she thought i was and i always complimented her.

 

She always said she was looking for an older more mature guy, i own my own house and also have a good job so considered myself to be alright catch for somebody.

 

so 6 weeks in we're still texting everyday, still laughing joking, nothing to serious or heavy, we didn't buy each other xmas gifts.

 

Her mother works for a close friend of mine and i sensed some resentment between mother and daughter because of the way she was raised, so my friend takes all his employees out for a meal on the 27th, i was invited, also asked my girl to come along, she was phoning me during the day saying she was looking forward to it, this is where thing went wrong.

 

So i take care of the bill for her, then we head across to the pub just myself her, and her mother, as soon as the girl i was seeing heads to the toilet the mother starts sticking the boot in about how horrible she was growing up and generally being horrible i was shocked, and told her when we got back to my place.

 

She was upset but not that surprised and we talked and i said something which upset her, it was insensitive of me, shes go's to work the next day and i don't hear off her for 2 days, so i text her , she replies saying i really hurt her feeling and we can't move on from here. I apologized and agreed that i was wrong and excepted her decision.

 

We then exchange a few texts mainly me saying to go and enjoy your self you've never really been single and get out there and see what it's all about it. she comes back with, im not ready for a relationship yet, i wish her a happy new year and cut the texting off.

 

New years eve she messages me at 2am wishing me a happy new year, i choose to ignore it, the next day (yesterday) she likes my status on facebook.

 

I just confused right because i did like this girl more than i thought, and things were amazing right up to when her mother started saying those thing, and my insensitive comment, about her not being as innocent and she makes out, then all of a sudden she just drops me. its been 5 days since i seen her now so guessing its not her needed space and time to come round.

 

I don't understand how she could go from the level we was at to nothing, to say i didn't see this coming is an understatement, no warning signs at all. I think my ego is bruised more than anything.

 

Am i reading to much in to the text thing, why message me when you're drunk, does this sound like games or is she done?

Edited January 2, 2015 by llleonidus

[Holmes85]

Hello. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Iv'e been dating a girl who is 20 and im 29, she is far more mature than most girls her age has her own place nice car good job and we hit it off so i decided to roll with it.

 

We only dated for 6 weeks and had a good time together constantly laughing joking, spending a lot of time together, she always said how hot she thought i was and i always complimented her.

 

She always said she was looking for an older more mature guy, i own my own house and also have a good job so considered myself to be alright catch for somebody.

 

so 6 weeks in we're still texting everyday, still laughing joking, nothing to serious or heavy, we didn't buy each other xmas gifts.

 

Her mother works for a close friend of mine and i sensed some resentment between mother and daughter because of the way she was raised, so my friend takes all his employees out for a meal on the 27th, i was invited, also asked my girl to come along, she was phoning me during the day saying she was looking forward to it, this is where thing went wrong.

 

So i take care of the bill for her, then we head across to the pub just myself her, and her mother, as soon as the girl i was seeing heads to the toilet the mother starts sticking the boot in about how horrible she was growing up and generally being horrible i was shocked, and told her when we got back to my place.

 

She was upset but not that surprised and we talked and i said something which upset her, it was insensitive of me, shes go's to work the next day and i don't hear off her for 2 days, so i text her , she replies saying i really hurt her feeling and we can't move on from here. I apologized and agreed that i was wrong and excepted her decision.

 

We then exchange a few texts mainly me saying to go and enjoy your self you've never really been single and get out there and see what it's all about it. she comes back with, im not ready for a relationship yet, i wish her a happy new year and cut the texting off.

 

New years eve she messages me at 2am wishing me a happy new year, i choose to ignore it, the next day (yesterday) she likes my status on facebook.

 

I just confused right because i did like this girl more than i thought, and things were amazing right up to when her mother started saying those thing, and my insensitive comment, about her not being as innocent and she makes out, then all of a sudden she just drops me. its been 5 days since i seen her now so guessing its not her needed space and time to come round.

 

I don't understand how she could go from the level we was at to nothing, to say i didn't see this coming is an understatement, no warning signs at all. I think my ego is bruised more than anything.

 

Am i reading to much in to the text thing, why message me when you're drunk, does this sound like games or is she done?

 

Dar lllenoidus,

 

I've highlighted a couple of things on your post above.

 

Love makes everything blind (for a while). The fact is she is still 20 years old, she may have "acted" more mature around you, but the matter of the fact is she isn't.

 

You can clearly see that from her behavior.

 

You guys dated for 6 weeks which is about a month and a half. You also stated above she always like mature and older guys, well she got a taste of you, she got what she wanted and now you are under her achievements belt that she can also manage to ger older dudes if she wanted to.

 

"im not ready for a relationship yet" trust me, if she hasn't got her eye on someone else already, she's likely testing it out the waters with her new fling.

 

My suggestion would be to drop this one like a hot potato (like she dropped you). No texts, no calls, by all means remove her from the social media, trust me by doing all this you would come off as way more attractive than what you are right now.

 

I would also strongly advice you to find a girl who knows what she wants and is more mature, everyone can talk the talk, but can everyone walk the walk? She says one thing but she's doing another.

 

I would say keep your dignity and let this one go.

[coolheadal]

The mother was trying to warn you about her daughter hidden behavior condition. So now you are aware of the truth! Then you confront your BF of 6 weeks about it. She drops you like a dime over it. Like you know who she is really and doesn't want you again. Her secret is out! The dream is broken (shattered). Time to move on to the next mature man she seeks out. So you see what's going on in her mental mind-set. You need to put her out of your mind. Move on and find a more stable focus minded GF.

[ExpatInItaly]

What did you say to her that apparently hurt her so much?

[llleonidus]

Only that there are 2 sides to every story and that i didn't think she was as innocent as she made out. In hindsight she was probably looking for support and i didn't give it to her, but i did apologize and acknowledged that i was being a dick.

 

However there was no going back i suspect that wasn't the reason why she ended it, seems like an excuse to get out, im just confused because i would of put my life on the fact she was into me.

 

Assumption is the mother of all **** ups as the saying go's.

 

I guess you guys are right she probably done me a favour in the long run.

 

Better to except she isn't playing games and get over myself.

[Namja78]

Hmmmm I see this was in Aug 2013..long over it/???? by now?

[llleonidus]

A different girl lol

[Namja78]

lol sorry new to site..got dates mixed up.

 

Wow this is tough situation..completely different than mine.

 

do you feel sometimes ignoring the text can actually cause more harm..them thinking oh his not interested so they move on?

[SycamoreCircle]

You had me at 20-years-old but mature.

 

There is no conjunction between those two words. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will have a girlfriend. Houses, cars, apartments are possessions not maturity.

 

A person's relationship with their family is a fail-safe indicator of maturity.

 

Aim for women more your age and look at their relationships not their status in life.

[llleonidus]

Well she's messaged me a few times since posting this and I've ignored them all, you guys are right and I won't be making the same mistake again!

 

I guess she's just young and playing games like everyone has said all along.

 

True is The age different is way to much and we're at 2 different points in life, I realise that now, it's would of never have worked in the long run and that's why I love this site, good honest and truthful advice from impartial strangers.

 

As for the text question, I ignored her and she's texted me a few times so I guess it makes them miss you more. I'm not going to reapond of she sends anymore.

[llleonidus]

Well she's messaged me a few times since posting this and I've ignored them all, you guys are right and I won't be making the same mistake again!

 

I guess she's just young and playing games like everyone has said all along.

 

Truth is The age different is way to much and we're at 2 different points in life, I realise that now, it would of never have worked in the long run and that's why I love this site, good honest and truthful advice from impartial strangers.

 

As for the text question, I ignored her and she's texted me a few times so I guess it makes them miss you more if anything, I'm not going to respond if she sends anymore.