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This sounds pathetic but.. (Update)


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 31st December 2014, 3:43 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyDew View Post
Hi Zahara thanks for your replies, would it also be a bad idea to reply to his email now saying that I need a longer period of time of no contact? Or could I send a short n sweet to the point reply stating this to end the conversation as it were?
There is no need to reply. Isn't this the guy that dumped you out of nowhere and then came back and messed with your head with contact? That was in November and here you are again breaking NC and again, it's now toying with your head.

You sent that email for closure, it wasn't communication to let him know that you need more time for NC.

Closure means closing the door. It's an ending. Let it be. There is no need to let him know how you will be moving forward from this point onwards.
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Old 31st December 2014, 3:52 PM   #17
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Don't let the past walk into your present with its muddy boots on.

Let the past be the past.
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Old 31st December 2014, 4:38 PM   #18
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I think that until you get to a place of true neutrality; e.g. your romantic feelings have completely subsided and there are zero romantic ones left it will be too soon.

A couple months for a 4 year relationship? Sounds way too soon to be completely healed and moved on. Really, you probably would not have written that letter at all if you had moved on. This sounds like opening a door to dissapointment and further pain.
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Old 31st December 2014, 5:05 PM   #19
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Everyone has given you good advice about deactivating, etc.

It is so important that you be kind to yourself and not throw any "emotional assaults" in your direction.

Feeling bad can become addictive. As odd as that sounds..
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Old 31st December 2014, 5:10 PM   #20
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Not pathetic at all

Hi,
It's not pathetic at all. It's only natural.
I am going through an exactly same.
You have been doing great for a few month to cope with it.

I wish I could say anything better to make you feel better.
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Old 31st December 2014, 5:24 PM   #21
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DaisyDew,

Your break up is quite fresh. It is going to take time to heal, 3 months in terms of healing is just a start, but I promise you if you keep yourself motivated you would be in a different state of mind and place than you are now.

In order to make progression, you should be willing to do what's necessary, you should defriend your Ex from all social websites, the worse has already happened, there is no point in torturing yourself more. Remove everything that reminds you of him and keep it somewhere you don't have easily access to me.

Trust me if your Ex at some point in the future wants you back, you can re-add him everywhere, till that day, you need to defriend him everywhere, you need to look strong now. Defriending your ex and not paying attention to whatever he's doing is going to make you look much stronger like you don't care anymore and you are moving on forward with your life and it also conveys the message that you don't need him in order to feel happy.

I say you keep working on yourself and make some positive changes in your life and trust me you would be in a far better mental state than you are in right now and who knows you might not feel the same about him anymore or find someone that's actually a lot better and appreicates you the same way as you do.
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Old 31st December 2014, 5:33 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Light Breeze View Post
^^^^ Did this too. FB deactivated for three months now.

I did this for two reasons

First, to avoid getting new info about her and her new squeeze.

Second, to avoid seeing happy people . I think i would be more susceptible to melancholia seeing these people.

I have more control over my healing and coping mechanism without social media imo.
^^^ I did this too. Haven't missed it at all!
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Old 31st December 2014, 5:40 PM   #23
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Weren't you posting just this morning about some picture on Facebook?

Seriously, as Zahara and I already said, leave it alone.
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Old 31st December 2014, 5:45 PM   #24
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Said it before and I'll say it again,

"Closure comes from within oneself."
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