rutiga Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 2 Months ago now, my girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me from what seemed to be completely out of the blue on our anniversary. My whole life has been turned upside down over the past 3 months as my grandmother passed away, my car just stopped working and I have also had to to move out to my aunt's house. Overnight she has just gone from a funny loving and caring person to being completely cold towards me, I dont even recognise her at the moment. We started seeing each other in high school since the age of 17. We were best friends first and always had a lot of laughs and fun together even up until the end. We never fought about anything major and always seemed to be on the same page with everything. I always knew she had my back and was there for me as did she. Family and friends considered us married and apart of the family and also commented on how cute and good we were together. However, 2014 has been a really tough year for us as a couple, financially and emotionally (briefly discussed in the first paragraph). I graduated civil engineering at the end of 2013, while initially finding work, the company I was at had to let me go because they lost a lot of projects themselves. Since that I could not find any work at all (engineering, labour, retail, ANYTHING) for 6 months. So due to this she had to continue to primarily support our living (she did while i was studying also) as we had moved out together 1.5 years earlier. In saying that, I still contributed financially, and renovated the better part of most the house while I wasn't working - I felt I pulled my weight even though I was not earning as much money for a good amount of time. Despite this, we never struggled for money - we still went out we still had fun. To make things worse, the only position I did manage to find pays less than if i worked at somewhere like Kmart full time - I only took it because its all there was (I was desperate) Since then I have been doing the no contact thing, however she has not yet reached out to contact me. During the initial breakup I would try to email her and talk to her and as I was very confused and shocked, however as this went on she seemed to have become more cold and blunt with me. We ended on good terms with her saying she still wants to be friends if I want to, but I still love her and care about her too much to just be repositioned in her life as another "friend". I am so confused about what she is doing as it is so out of character and erratically. Im not sure if there is another guy or why she seems to be focusing all this anger towards me. Does my relationship have any hope, should I try reach out to contact her? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 It's been over 8 weeks... what relationship? Trust me, she's moved on. It doesn't matter what she wants, it matters what YOU need to do to move on. You have bigger problems in your life right now than her. So get to working on those. There are many instances of high school sweethearts who just outgrow their relationship. This seems to be the case. She might have met someone, she might have not. It doesn't matter. I know 8 years is a long time, but it's time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 (edited) Sorry you're going through so much at the same time. I think you should try your best to move on and heal. She clearly has started the healing process much earlier, probably fell out of love a long time before she broke up with you. Yours has to start now, and it can't start if you still think you can get her back. If she had thought she was mistaken she would've contacted you by now. I also think it would be best for you to focus on your career for the time being. This will benefit you personally in the future, as well as potentially make you more desirable to women. I mean, from what I read, your ex-gf supported you financially throughout the entirety of the time you lived together, over 2 years. It would not be unusual for her to lose attraction over that time due to that. There are cases where women are okay with financially supporting men for a prolonged period of time, especially if it involves a mutual agreement where there is a need for someone to stay home (e.g. an SAHD), but your ex-gf's reaction isn't uncommon either. Given that you specifically mention this point without being asked, I would venture to guess that maybe even you think that that might be a factor. Edited to clarify: I don't think this is 'your fault' by any means, and I do think you probably just got dealt a bad hand in terms of your current situation. Not your fault and not her fault, just the way things go sometimes. I don't mean to point fingers, but I'm trying to encourage you to divert the time and energy you are spending by thinking about your ex, into your career instead. Edited December 28, 2014 by Elswyth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I bet a $1.00 she left you for someone else. All of the signs are there. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I'm sorry you're so bummed out. But if she hasn't reached out to you by now I doubt she's going to. Focus on being the best you possible. Don't let her get the best of you...save that for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
quoththeraven Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Maybe after eight years she was hoping you'd propose to her on your anniversary? Was she eager to get married? Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Maybe I overlooked it, I re-read your post and didn't see that you mentioned it. Why did she end things? What did she say specifically were the reasons for breaking up? Link to post Share on other sites
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