A question about indifference.

[Jimmyjackson]

Once an ex is indifferent with you, is there no chance of her coming back to you?

[dumbass2]

There is nothing you can really do other than move forward and become indifferent yourself. Will she ever come back? No one can answer that. My ex became indifferent to me and so I went NC and moved forward. She contacted me 3 months later and I was more indifferent and it didn't effect me as much and I care less, so not a big deal. That is where you need to get to. for yourself though and not holding out hope that by doing it she will come back. That is up to her. You cannot force things to happen. It only makes it worse for you and her. Move forward and focus on yourself and not her.

[RedButton]

Once an ex is indifferent with you, is there no chance of her coming back to you?

 

How long has it been? If it's still fresh, it's natural to want her back, but I think you need to stop thinking in those terms. I did the same thing and for the first month at least was expecting things to 'just go back to how they were'. After some time you might realise, that deep down, you really don't want her back either. Things didn't work out for a reason.

 

I'm not saying this for false hope, but it's not the end of the world. There's a long road ahead of everyone and who knows what she'll feel like later on, but more importantly, how will YOU feel? It's not absolute, but what you need to do now is imagine that there is zero chance of things working out between you two and start healing. You'll probably find that you'd rather move on rather than hoping to go back.

[coolheadal]

After 3 years living with the Ex GF who I had just throw out of my house here because she was Serial Cheater and we both were indifferent with each other. I couldn't stand it any more and the lies and the other guys she's was using to get things where I wouldn't do it. But I know I did the right thing.

 

But I got her bus tickets and had placed her on the bus she did want to go but I didn't make it easy for her. Grab what you can and get out. She's now living in a different a state with her best GF.

 

You need to move on and live your life the way you want too without any indifferent Ex GF making you feel so indifferent yourself. This is not how things are suppose to be. These type of women you can't change them, no matter how you think in your head they're not thinking the same way.

 

Both cases just have to move on as they're doing now without us!

[Satu]

One of the keys to emotional and mental health is the willingness to accept reality as being what it is.

[Ieris]

There is nothing you can really do other than move forward and become indifferent yourself. Will she ever come back? No one can answer that. My ex became indifferent to me and so I went NC and moved forward. She contacted me 3 months later and I was more indifferent and it didn't effect me as much and I care less, so not a big deal. That is where you need to get to. for yourself though and not holding out hope that by doing it she will come back. That is up to her. You cannot force things to happen. It only makes it worse for you and her. Move forward and focus on yourself and not her.

 

+1

 

This is where you need to get to, so that you no longer care if she's in your life or not. Some people come back, some people don't, no one knows the answer but all I can say is don't wait around for someone especially when you don't know if they're coming back.

 

It would be easier for you to move on if you kill all hope but you clearly still want her back. So, I suggest you keep a little hope if it makes you feel better but start moving forward at the same time.

[dumbass2]

+1

 

This is where you need to get to, so that you no longer care if she's in your life or not. Some people come back, some people don't, no one knows the answer but all I can say is don't wait around for someone especially when you don't know if they're coming back.

 

It would be easier for you to move on if you kill all hope but you clearly still want her back. So, I suggest you keep a little hope if it makes you feel better but start moving forward at the same time.

 

I like what is said here because it is realistic. It's hard to just go cold turkey on the hope when you want someone enough, but take steps to move forward at the same time. Always be moving in a forward direction, not backwards. 5 steps forward and one step back will happen, just don't go 5 steps forward and then 5 steps back and in time you will get to where you need to be.

[Jimmyjackson]

How long has it been? If it's still fresh, it's natural to want her back, but I think you need to stop thinking in those terms. I did the same thing and for the first month at least was expecting things to 'just go back to how they were'. After some time you might realise, that deep down, you really don't want her back either. Things didn't work out for a reason.

 

I'm not saying this for false hope, but it's not the end of the world. There's a long road ahead of everyone and who knows what she'll feel like later on, but more importantly, how will YOU feel? It's not absolute, but what you need to do now is imagine that there is zero chance of things working out between you two and start healing. You'll probably find that you'd rather move on rather than hoping to go back.

 

It's been almost 4 months and two months NC

[Jimmyjackson]

I just want to become one of those guys who just doesn't give a ****. Rather than curl up in a ball crying over her, I want to know my own value and just shrug her off as if it was nothing, like she has done to me. I want to have options and meet great women, I just have no confidence at the moment, and I'm usually a confident person.

[erklat]

Then you are asking the wrong question.

 

You asked will she return if she is indifferent.

 

You should ask if you would even care if she does

once you become indifferent.

 

This is some you-time in your life.

[Jimmyjackson]

There is nothing you can really do other than move forward and become indifferent yourself. Will she ever come back? No one can answer that. My ex became indifferent to me and so I went NC and moved forward. She contacted me 3 months later and I was more indifferent and it didn't effect me as much and I care less, so not a big deal. That is where you need to get to. for yourself though and not holding out hope that by doing it she will come back. That is up to her. You cannot force things to happen. It only makes it worse for you and her. Move forward and focus on yourself and not her.

 

What did she say when she contacted you?

[Jimmyjackson]

+1

 

This is where you need to get to, so that you no longer care if she's in your life or not. Some people come back, some people don't, no one knows the answer but all I can say is don't wait around for someone especially when you don't know if they're coming back.

 

It would be easier for you to move on if you kill all hope but you clearly still want her back. So, I suggest you keep a little hope if it makes you feel better but start moving forward at the same time.

 

I go through stages of wanting her back and then thinking why should I after what happened? I think my ego is hurt more than anything. A lot of me wants to meet someone new who I have those same feelings that I had with my ex at the beginning.

[RedButton]

It's been almost 4 months and two months NC

 

If it's been that long, I would say it's probably best to be in the mindset of 'move on, it won't ever go back to how it was'. Not to say that people don't sometimes get back in touch after 6 months or a year or whatever, but acting like that is likely at this point will only hurt you I think.

 

At first it'll feel terrible, but after a while I think you'll start to wonder why you wanted her back at all.

 

I know this is all so much easier said than done though.

[Jimmyjackson]

If it's been that long, I would say it's probably best to be in the mindset of 'move on, it won't ever go back to how it was'. Not to say that people don't sometimes get back in touch after 6 months or a year or whatever, but acting like that is likely at this point will only hurt you I think.

 

At first it'll feel terrible, but after a while I think you'll start to wonder why you wanted her back at all.

 

I know this is all so much easier said than done though.

 

Most of me wants to just meet someone else to make me believe again, believe that there are other unique girls out there who can make me feel strongly for them. Everywhere I look I see a bad bunch of girls, who I have nothing in common with and who don't do it for me. Just need to meet someone else, you know?

[RedButton]

Most of me wants to just meet someone else to make me believe again, believe that there are other unique girls out there who can make me feel strongly for them. Everywhere I look I see a bad bunch of girls, who I have nothing in common with and who don't do it for me. Just need to meet someone else, you know?

 

Believe me, I know exactly what you mean.

As trite as it sounds, my ex was really the first girl that I loved, and whom loved me back. At first all I could think about was 'how am I going to find someone like that again?'.

 

Eventually I came to realise that if it could happen once, it can happen again. That I'm perfectly capable of having that kind of relationship with someone, and I guess it gave me confidence that there are amazing women out there that I can find again (and maybe they're looking for someone like me).

 

I hope you get there as well. I still have bouts where I'm worried and afraid I'm never going to meet someone as good, or that I'll just get rejected or burnt, but I'm doing better than I used to.

 

There's a line in Cormac McCarthy's 'All the Pretty Horses' (Great book btw) that I read just after the breakup and it really hit home with me: "Scared money can't win and a worried man can't love"