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Hey people, this will be a long letter, but i really need you to read it.

 

The girl with whom i spent the last 5 years of my life left... I noticed things weren't going right, i was even thinking to break up with her on our 5th anniversary... but i knew i still loved her so much and decided to work on the relationship. At the time i felt like things were working again, she was looking really happy again, i was feeling happy again. but Someday after not receiving a single call or message from her i called her asking whats going on. She said "you know, i am not feeling good about this, i think we need time for ourselves"... i wasn't expecting that but i agreed. And we broke up. For a week i did not called her. I saw her again in a road trip we and our mutual friends were planning months ago. We went to a beach and i asked her to forget about everything and enjoy the trip as nothing was happening, she agreed and for a day we were the happiest couple on earth again. The thing is that... we were having a romantic walkaway in the beach, when she said "you know? i like another man, and he is the reason of our break up". First heart breaking of the story.

 

I feel betrayed, like a bullet in the head shot from behind. I could not stay in the beach and i took the first bus back home and left her there.

 

For a month i did not called her a single time... until one day she called me wanting to meet with me. I agreed and went to her house, she said she only wanted to tell me that she was starting a new relationship with that guy, she wanted to tell me that so i could move on and stop waiting for her. Second heart breaking of the story. I stood up and did not begged or cried, i said i was okay with that and that i was going to leave her alone. She then was the one crying and begging, said that she still loved me, that she was hoping to get back with me someday, in the future. I left her, but i could not understand losing her for ever, i was truly waiting for her, the idea of losing her never crossed my mind until that day. I gave her 1 week of time until i visited her again.

 

I went to her home and told her that i deserved a chance, one last, she agreed, but said that it was not the time to give it. I invited her to my house and she agreed, she was so happy to be in my house again, she started jumping in my bed like a kid, laughing, we were laying in the bed laughing, remembering the good times, we hug and even took a nap together. Days after that i went to her house again thinking that things were working out. She was looking angry at me, i asked her what was going on, she said that the guy she was dating knew about the day she came to my house and that caused her a problem with him.

 

I tried to talk to her and convince her to get back with me, obviously she didn't agree. So i told her i would never ever bother her again, she started crying. Just 2 days after that she started posting cute stuff on her facebook, like little games and sayings we had and that she knew i was the only one who would understand.

 

I visited her when i saw her posts and asked her to hang out, she agreed. I took her to the mountains and prepare breakfast in the woods, she loves camping. We were laying inside the tent, laughing and chatting, when i decided to finally kiss her again knowing that i may get a slap in the face. but no, she damn followed me, and we kissed like it was the last time we would ever kiss someone. She even cried after the kiss, saying that she was so emotional, saying things like "i love you"; "i never really wanted to lose you"; "i would never forgive you if you don't try to get back with me". I told her, "okay, let's get back together then" she said "let me tell that douchebag that i am getting back with you, so we can finally be together again".

 

Well she told the douchebag, and then told me about what she just did, i felt like the happiest man on earth... BUT she said she didn't want to get back with me at the moment, and asked for "TIME". She said "we are going to be back soon, just give me some time to think and to relax". I agreed , but felt something was not right. right after that chat we had, she started posting stuff on her facebook, cute things, little games and sayings, but they weren't for me this time. they were for the other douchebag. What.. the.. F#CK!?

 

I visited her and asked what the hell was going on she said she didn't want to talk but i insisted and she said the final words...

 

"okay you want to talk? well it's over, i don't love you anymore, i don't want to get back with you, i asked you for time and you pushed too much. get out of my life and never come back"

 

I was so surprised that i couldn't resist myself, i cried like a little bitch begging for an explanation and for another chance. She said she couldn't give me another chance, she also started crying, we hug and cried like two little babies, she said that she still felt love for me, but was not enough to get back. She promised me that she was never going to be back with the douchebag, that she really wants to be alone. But asked me to never try to get back with her again.

 

Her mom called me the day after that saying that she was so sad and asked me what happened. I told her and she said she was going to speak with her. Later the mom called me again saying, "sorry son, she did not wanted to talk and she's not sad anymore, yesterday she came with hair dye and was really happy, laughing and all."

 

She deleted all her social networks accounts, facebook, twitter, whatsapp when all this happened. She opened them again, but has me blocked.

 

I saw her the other day in a bar, i did not approach her nor even went to say hi or something. I just ignored her, she told me to never call her again so why should i do it? Well i noticed her staring at me like 3 times, and then a friend of her called me after i left the bar and said "she's sad because you didn't came to say hi to her"... "also said things like she was so sad because she left you being the love of her life" "she still feels love for you".

 

I have not talked to her for a week now, she posted something on facebook on christmas eve with pictures of the best things of the year, it was all about me, pictures of our mutual university projects and we presenting them, a picture she edited for my birthday with stuff written like "you are the best man on earth", pictures of our 5th anniversary party with the friend, and the 5th anniversary date we had, with stuff like "you made me the happiest woman on earth".

 

I really can't move on, I had a perfect build up life, i am a musician, had a lot of projects, i had a lot of stuff to do, a lot of friends, she was the perfect compliment for my life. But now i can't do nothing, i lost all motivation... I really want to keep trying, i can't believe this is the end.

 

Is she really getting over me? is this time for real? should i try to speak with her again?

 

Sorry for the long post, I know what i want to do, i want to call her again, but that's not the right thing to do. I know the ONLY option i still have is to sit down and wait for her to call. Build my life again until she calls, the waiting is killing me but i know that if there's a little love for me in her, she will call. I also know that if i go to her house and with strong words i say "this is it baby, i want you and there's only a yes and a no, whatever you say i will respect you" I will receive a NO... but maybe i will feel sure enough to start moving on.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited out link to gif file.
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So sad to hear.

 

In situations like this, there is allways someone else in the picture.

 

At least you found out the truth, painful as it is.

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So sad to hear.

 

In situations like this, there is allways someone else in the picture.

 

At least you found out the truth, painful as it is.

 

 

But she totally left the guy, i mean how could she still be planning on being with him posting pictures of me?

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No. It isn't easy.

 

It's hard, but it's realistic.

 

 

When i was dating her, We first kissed after a date and i asked her to be my gf after that long kiss, she said "no, sorry for making you think otherwise, but not now not never, i dont want to be your gf" I left and all the people was saying, "just forget about her man, she doesn't love you, move on"... I did not move on, i tried again, and we spent 5 years of amazing relationship, she's the kind of girl that waits to be rescued, i hope she's waiting for this again :(

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She did that to you and you're the one who has to rescue her? Are you serious?!

 

 

she's receiving a lot of pain.... i mean, she's in that "confused" state. :(

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she's receiving a lot of pain.... i mean, she's in that "confused" state. :(

 

If she cared, she wouldn't have done what she did. Don't try to sugarcoat things for her by dragging up all these sob stories and feel sorry for her because she had a choice and she chose to hurt you. if she wants you, let her crawl back to you. You have put in your 50% its up to her to put in the other half.

 

I know you're hurt right now and feeling pretty desperate not knowing what to do but when you aren't rational, the best thing to do is nothing. Give yourself some time to calm down so that you can see the big picture. She clearly doesn't know what she wants right now so back off completely and let her be. When she is ready, she will contact you again...

 

Hope things work out for you x

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I'm not trying to be an ass as I offer some compassion, but as I read you're post, I had the overwhelming feeling that you need to grow a pair and be a man. Why in the hell are you so dependent on her for the happiness in your life?

 

A man understands and respects the power of his choices. He lives a life of his own creation. A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior. Tolerating her behavior is your fault.

 

Own your attitude and your choices. Perhaps a dose of tough love, but quit sniveling you can't move on. Others have survived the breakup of their relationships in far more dire situations than yours, and they've done just fine.

 

This has absolutely nothing to do with her. It's about you. It's a choice.

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Dude, I am the first person to put my hand up an declare that I believe in romance, and if warranted, second chances. I believe in fairytales and that true love just might be enough for the right people.

 

So believe me when I say that this girl sees you as a plaything and is using that to feed her own ego. That will never change, she knows she only has to say the right thing or do the right thing and you will come flying back until she is bored again.

 

Have some compassion and respect for yourself. Why should YOU be treated like this? Why should YOU waste your efforts on someone that doesn't value the lengths you are willing to go to for them?

 

Yes, to walk away will be sad and hard and painful for you. But that will be a new beginning for you. THe longer you let this woman be your puppetmaster, the longer you will suffer.

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Well i could not resist it and i went to her home, i knew she was going to kick me out, the last time i saw her, she said that i should not visit her again ever, she asked to leave her alone for ever, but i missed her so much i did not care. Well **** she was so damn happy to see me, she hugged me at the moment she opened the door, invited me to dinner that she even prepared. I told her i had some drinks in my house, and asked her to go with me to get them so we could have some beers after dinner. She agreed. My house was alone, she was laying in my bed waiting for me to get the beers, but then she called me to be by her side, i went and she kissed me, with a lot of passion. After the kiss we were just cuddling in bed and she said "I was so stupid, i love you with all my heart". She called me the day after that, and i visited her yesterday, everything seems cool, but she looks kind of reflexive sometimes, like thinking too much. Today i did not called her and she didn't either.

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Detectingfreak

I love reading these stories on LS. These sound like fairly tales gone wrong. So much better then me dating anyone else. I find your situation very sad like a drama. You should however, stop seeing her though. Go NC.

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I love reading these stories on LS. These sound like fairly tales gone wrong. So much better then me dating anyone else. I find your situation very sad like a drama. You should however, stop seeing her though. Go NC.

 

 

I am a believer of second chances. How can NC open the opportunity to a second chance?

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I am a believer of second chances. How can NC open the opportunity to a second chance?

NC is for getting over someone.

 

Or in Satu his words:

"No contact? What's that?"

 

It's when you decide not to hurt yourself.

 

That's all it is.

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