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Ex rubbing rebound in my face? (Updated)


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 31st December 2014, 10:24 AM   #46
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Absolutely not.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:25 AM   #47
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The only reason I felt like doing this is because I know I'm in a better place, I don't resent him, hate him & I now understand why we needed to break up. I myself wasn't happy at the end of the relationship either but instead of walking away I wanted to try fix things. I have walked away from it now & my life is happier, I'm dating & seeing other people and I am in a much better place.

I will always care & love him just not as strongly as I use too & that never goes away when you spent a big part of your life with someone. I just have to see this guy quite often and I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, it ended badly but both of us are in better places now. I agree with about he needs to heal too & I think that's one of the reasons I'm holding back as he still seems to be playing games. I don't want to reach out & give him any fire power.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:47 AM   #48
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What is wrong with trying to fix things? It takes courage and it's the hard path to take but IMO only loosers walk away when things get complicated. It's so easy to give up and be a quitter.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:52 AM   #49
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Only things aren't complicated, things are over.

We can't make people love us by being persistent. We can however get slammed with restraining orders.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:52 AM   #50
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Do not send a happy new year message or any other message to your EX Your relationship is over & your EX is in a new relationship. To reach out now is going backwards.


unforgotten -- it does take a stronger person to work to fix problems in a relationship but the time to do that is before the break up, not a month later when at least one of you is dating somebody else. Also texting something like Happy New Year isn't a relationship fix. It's a passive aggressive & doesn't fix anything.
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Old 31st December 2014, 12:39 PM   #51
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Who says I'm reaching out in a way to reconnect our old relationship? I simply wanted to send it because things ended badly and I've moved past this & just want to be civil. We was friends for 4 years before our 1.5 year relationship & the fact he lives 5 mins away from me & we have the same friends means I can't avoid him forever.

I never said about I'm doing it too want him back or mess with his relationship, it was simply just to bury old hatchets & lay the barking dogs to rest. I didn't want any bad blood or anything negative between us.
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Old 31st December 2014, 12:47 PM   #52
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OP, stop lying to us and to yourself.

You are SO not over this guy. This post started what? a week ago??? Now, all of a whole week later you're over him?

B to the m'f'n S.

A week ago you labeled him EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED and not capable of a relationship. Do you believe that? If you do, then why do you want to tangle with an emotionally damaged person.

You need to be strict NC. Stop corresponding with him, stop looking at his social media.
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Old 31st December 2014, 12:58 PM   #53
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Quote:
unforgotten -- it does take a stronger person to work to fix problems in a relationship but the time to do that is before the break up, not a month later when at least one of you is dating somebody else. Also texting something like Happy New Year isn't a relationship fix. It's a passive aggressive & doesn't fix anything.
Yes I agree, when things are over they're over. The only thing you can do is go NC, you've done your part. If he/she will want back, they'll have to do the contacting and it's on us to decide.

But when there is time for things to get fixed I'm all in for this. There was still time for me and my ex and she said "I don't want to". She was always a quitter in life and it was me who did the pushing. Unfortunately this time it was out of my hands. She went chasing the greener pastures instead of cherishing what she had and trying to work on our relationship. She may get lucky but it's like playing texas hold'em and going all in with 7 2. Jumping from a long term relationship directly into another just because you fell in love and were depressed in a current relationship is so wrong and IMO can damage you further down the road. It's immature and unhealthy for both parties. I'm almost 3 months post bu now and I see for myself how bad of an idea is to get involved in a new relationship so fast. I'm not nearly ready yet to be completely available to someone new and I'd probably do the comparison all the time and feel bad when I'd see my new partner doesn't match the qualities of my ex in some ways or the others and just isn't her.
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Old 31st December 2014, 4:42 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeBrokeMyHeart View Post
Who says I'm reaching out in a way to reconnect our old relationship? I simply wanted to send it because things ended badly and I've moved past this & just want to be civil. We was friends for 4 years before our 1.5 year relationship & the fact he lives 5 mins away from me & we have the same friends means I can't avoid him forever.

I never said about I'm doing it too want him back or mess with his relationship, it was simply just to bury old hatchets & lay the barking dogs to rest. I didn't want any bad blood or anything negative between us.

Being civil is good. But silence is civil. Since you travel in the same circles, when you have to see him you give him a tight smile & a curt nod. There is no need for more. If you are forced to talk, 1-2 minutes of idle chit chat is all that is required. Anything other than making a scene is just fine
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Old 1st January 2015, 9:59 AM   #55
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I never said I was over him COMPLETELY! I said I had moved on. I don't want to reconnect romantically doesn't mean I still don't have feelings for him. They just aren't as strong as they used to be. I'm not lying to myself or anyone else. I've made it perfectly clear that I still love & care for this guy but I do not want him back. I've accepted the relationship failed romantically and am moving past that doesn't mean our friendship has to fail also. I'm sorry if your not mature enough to understand that.
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Old 1st January 2015, 3:19 PM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeBrokeMyHeart View Post
I never said I was over him COMPLETELY! I said I had moved on. I don't want to reconnect romantically doesn't mean I still don't have feelings for him. They just aren't as strong as they used to be. I'm not lying to myself or anyone else. I've made it perfectly clear that I still love & care for this guy but I do not want him back. I've accepted the relationship failed romantically and am moving past that doesn't mean our friendship has to fail also. I'm sorry if your not mature enough to understand that.
It's got nothing to do with maturity. NC is about giving yourself the space to breath after going through something very emotional. If you're mature, you will realize that friendship with an ex is usually not possible, especially in the immediate aftermath. It's sad for sure, but that's usually the way it goes. No one likes it, but we have to live with it. If there is a friendship to be had, it will come in its own time. Also, the fact that he is now seeing someone means you leave him alone.
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