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Hi:

We broke up in early July (iniated by my ex). I asked for no contact in August. We haven't communicated for 2 1/2 months. My birthday was last weekend. I received an e mail from my ex: "This makes me nostolgic thinking about your birthday. I wish I was there to celebrate with you. but I'm sure you'll be surrounded by people and you'll be happy. Happy birthday and many to come" so I responded thank you, I appreciate you remember my birthday. so I received "How could I ever forget".

 

What do you think? I still have feelings and I am sure my ex still have feelings. are these signs to re-communicate or just out of being thoughtful and considerate. I honestly do not want to be hurt again but I still have feelings.

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SoThatHappened

Could be a breadcrumb, could be sincere, could be she wants reconciliation but is too proud to ask for it.

 

The ONLY thing you should do is NOT reply. Why? Because SHE was the one who initiated the breakup. It's on her if she wants to initiate reconciliation.

 

The ball is in her court.

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It's impossible to tell.

 

 

It could be an olive branch that she wants to reconcile.

 

 

It could be that she is polite

 

 

It could be nothing.

 

 

Since you want to reconcile, reach out but don't get your hopes up. I doubt it was a desire to reconcile.

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Well, she didn't say "let me take you to lunch to celebrate" or "would you like to go out sometimes". To me it's just a way to be the "better person" in a twisted way, because she knows she hurt your feelings.

 

"How could I ever forget?" She will, eventually.

 

Could be wrong, sure, but that's what I read in her message.

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Just because someone dumps you it may not mean that they never want to speak to you again. all it means for certain is that they dont want a romantic relationship with you.

 

that's fair enough, but the problem happens when the dumper contacts the dumpee to say "hi" or "happy birthday" or whatever, not realising that the dumpee is not fully over them and that this contact actually sets them back because it brings up a lot of old painful memories.

 

people often have trouble seeing viewpoints other than their own - the dumper is over the relationship 100% and has moved on so they just assume the dumpee has as well.

 

this is incredibly selfish of them

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I would just leave it and don't read too much into it. As you said she is the one that dumped you, so if she wants you back she should initiate it.

 

Don't get your hopes up as I don't want you to feel disappointed and go back into that dark hole again x

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I'm going against the grain. I think it's more than a breadcrumb. If it were I, I'd simply ask what she meant by wishing she were there. You'll be able to better judge her feelings based on the answer she gives...

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