gluggy Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 It's been 2 months. 2 months since he said "I can't do this anymore" He wanted freedom, to be single, to do things without having the responsibility of someone else's feelings. Things I don't like doing. I was floored. At first I was calm so we stayed together for another week. Things were great. He seemed more loving. He held me more, kissed me more. Even the love making was great. Then a week later he left. He really can't do it anymore. He is 27 and I am 37. We met when he was 18 and I was 28. I played the housewife and he went to work and study. We had our fair share of problems. Some trust issues he called them. He likes porn, I didn't. He still watched it after promising not to. But it doesn't matter anymore. He wanted trust so I gave it to him. The very next day I caught him watching porn again. I was angry. He promised again and I wanted to leave. He asked me not to. Saying he loves me so I stayed. I stayed for nearly 9 years. But I was punishing him. Angry women tend to punish. But for the last 5 years of being together we were really happy. He was still watching porn I found later. But it didn't matter anymore. I didn't say anything. We were happy, and that matters more. I was an angry person. I broke things. I hit him. But at the same time I loved him. I'd wait till midnight to cook dinner so he'd have something warm on the table. And no matter how angry I was, his well being was always first and foremost on my mind. I do worry if he was ever going to cheat. I used to say if someone can hide something small, they'd hide something even bigger. But I didn't check up on him. He went to work and he'd come home. We played the same sport, we'd go out with friends, we hung out at home. We were in love. I was almost a perfect housewife. I cook, cleaned, ironed. I did everything because my husband had to work so hard to provide and I wanted to do right by him. We still had problems, little ones we worked out. We were buying a house. It was exciting. We'd be moving in in June next year but alas ... I found out yesterday he'd been seeing someone else. Around 6 months towards the end of our relationship he had been. He'd go at lunch so he can still come home at the right time. It killed me because after lunch he'd call and asks me how I am doing. What he'd like for dinner and then tells me he loves me. They'd been having sex and then he'd come home and have sex with me. I was worried about STDs. I asked if they used protection. He said yes. I felt a little relieved and a little sick to my stomach. It was the ultimate betrayal. He said he didn't want to hurt me. He doesn't like hurting me. He still cares. I told him to be happy and I wish him all the happiness. It hurts me saying it, but I love him enough to see him happy. At least one of us is. I read about GIGS. I don't know if it is. He is young still and he said we'll never be together again. He said maybe he'll miss me later. My friends told me to move on. Be happy and one day it'll hit him. I don't know what to think. I am getting alright. But being on an emotional roller coaster is hard. Any opinion, thoughts, will be appreciated. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I think you have some issues to work out (and I'm sure he does too) any relationship that has physical violence is not a healthy, loving relationship. There is no excuse for it period. If my partner ever hit me I would be out the door within a minute I have more self respect than to be treated like that. You should take this time to focus on yourself and learn from the mistakes you made in your previous relationship and how not to repeat them in the future. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I think you have some issues to work out (and I'm sure he does too) any relationship that has physical violence is not a healthy, loving relationship. There is no excuse for it period. If my partner ever hit me I would be out the door within a minute I have more self respect than to be treated like that. You should take this time to focus on yourself and learn from the mistakes you made in your previous relationship and how not to repeat them in the future. Couldn't said it better myself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tobrieornottobrie Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 It sounds like you're really hurting, I'm sorry. Would you be open to maybe finding a professional to talk to? I would really encourage you to seek some counseling or therapy to deal with what you are feeling. Best of luck to you. the brie's cheese knees Link to post Share on other sites
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