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Why did my ex say this? Was it just attraction??


HeBrokeMyHeart

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HeBrokeMyHeart

Okay so while arguing with my ex he said this:

"I know I'm weak, I see a picture or snapchat of you & straight away I want to flirt and I know I shouldn't do it."

 

We've always had an amazing chemistry between us and the fire of that never burned out between us, that's why we can't just 'be friends' were too attracted too each other & the chemistry has always been strong.

 

But when he said that it came across too me as if that's all he sees me as now, what did he mean by this? He used to say that I was funny, caring, smart

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What's the context of this conversation? Did he just randomly text you this?

 

Did he dump you, you dump him? Either way, he still gets that jolt in his heart when he sees your face. He's not completely over you.

 

Also, how long have you guys been broken up?

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If you are not together anymore, why do you waste your time having arguments?

 

Oops, completely glossed over that part. Yeah, OP. Why the hell are you having arguments with an ex??? :confused:

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evanescentworld
Okay so while arguing with my ex he said this:

Never argue with an ex. It's futile. You're broken up, it's over, finished, done with, ended, in the slammer, kaput, finito, schtum.

 

Got it?

 

"I know I'm weak, I see a picture or snapchat of you & straight away I want to flirt and I know I shouldn't do it."

Read the No Contact Guide. Block, delete, banish, vanish and stop giving him anything to cling to.

Who broke up with whom, exactly? He dumped you, right?

 

We've always had an amazing chemistry between us and the fire of that never burned out between us, that's why we can't just 'be friends' were too attracted too each other & the chemistry has always been strong.
Bullschpitt. If it really was that strong, you'd still be together. He's playing you for booty, FWB.... he doesn't want to be with you (If he's the dumper) he doesn't want the responsibility of attachment.

But this "amazing chemistry"? "Fire that never burned out?" Oh honey, pleaase.... :rolleyes:

 

But when he said that it came across too me as if that's all he sees me as now, what did he mean by this? He used to say that I was funny, caring, smart

Yup, that's all he sees you as...NOW. He just wants to build up to sex. Hell, if he's not getting any, then you're an ideal place to park the bus....

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HeBrokeMyHeart

We was arguing, I wanted to get the friendship back he didn't & said that we could never just be friends. Like we both can't just keep it freindzoned due to the attraction & chemistry.

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evanescentworld
We was arguing, I wanted to get the friendship back he didn't & said that we could never just be friends. Like we both can't just keep it freindzoned due to the attraction & chemistry.

He's right.

You can't be friends if you still want each other emotionally.

 

Go No Contact.

If he broke your heart, then he deserves to be blanked off, and blocked at every single which-way twist, turn and corner.

 

See the No Contact Guide for a full, succinct and 100% effective way of doing this.

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We was arguing, I wanted to get the friendship back he didn't & said that we could never just be friends. Like we both can't just keep it freindzoned due to the attraction & chemistry.

 

So you broke up with him?

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We was arguing, I wanted to get the friendship back he didn't & said that we could never just be friends. Like we both can't just keep it freindzoned due to the attraction & chemistry.

 

OK, who dumped who? It sounds like you dumped him.

 

I didn't immediately jump on the FWB situation, because I felt like you dumped him. He's still not over you enough to be your friend.

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HeBrokeMyHeart
Never argue with an ex. It's futile. You're broken up, it's over, finished, done with, ended, in the slammer, kaput, finito, schtum.

 

Got it?

 

 

Read the No Contact Guide. Block, delete, banish, vanish and stop giving him anything to cling to.

Who broke up with whom, exactly? He dumped you, right?

 

Bullschpitt. If it really was that strong, you'd still be together. He's playing you for booty, FWB.... he doesn't want to be with you (If he's the dumper) he doesn't want the responsibility of attachment.

But this "amazing chemistry"? "Fire that never burned out?" Oh honey, pleaase.... :rolleyes:

 

 

Yup, that's all he sees you as...NOW. He just wants to build up to sex. Hell, if he's not getting any, then you're an ideal place to park the bus....

I have gone NC for 3 weeks now & blocked him on everything. This was before hand we both were on/off for 2 months. But due to personal reasons, his friend dying with cancer at 28 & I know it's nothing compared too what he was going through I came off my pills which drastically changed my emotions every 5 mins.

 

We both began to argue & it was just the arguments which tore us apart during that emotional time in our life's. Things were going great before hand & after our first split he came back after 3 days saying he missed me (says he still does now) and that he had made a mistake. That I'm the first girl in a real long time that he actually genuinely likes but he's just scared of getting hurt again so he ends up pushing me away.

 

I've been friends with him for 4 years, with him a year and a half. I first met him when we began working together & I was there when his ex of 3 years cheated on him. It tore him a part & while he's been sexual & talked to other girls between then & now (nearly 3 years) I guess I'm the first proper serious girlfriend he had since then. & when we began to argue he got scared that he would end up hurt again, plus with the baggage with his friend dying he wanted to close himself off from people scared off getting attached. He shut me out.

 

It wasn't because the fire had died it was because of his own insecurities.

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evanescentworld

I hate to tell you this (and I'm not being unsympathetic) but none of that matters.

Not one bit.

Not a scrap of it.

You can analyse, find reasons, excuses, justifications, logical conclusions for it all, but only one thing matters now:

 

He's your ex.

It's over, and you should remedy the dysfunction of the attraction, by closing it off completely and never speaking to him ever again.

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HeBrokeMyHeart
OK, who dumped who? It sounds like you dumped him.

 

I didn't immediately jump on the FWB situation, because I felt like you dumped him. He's still not over you enough to be your friend.

He dumped me. He pushed me away. But kept coming back until I blocked him on everything. Yet he's got his best friend & mutual friends snooping on me

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evanescentworld

Let them snoop.

Just don't respond to any of it, or reply to justify.

He has no right to any part of you any longer.

If he pushed you away, then make his attempts to reel you in, completely ineffective and redundant.

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HeBrokeMyHeart
I hate to tell you this (and I'm not being unsympathetic) but none of that matters.

Not one bit.

Not a scrap of it.

You can analyse, find reasons, excuses, justifications, logical conclusions for it all, but only one thing matters now:

 

He's your ex.

It's over, and you should remedy the dysfunction of the attraction, by closing it off completely and never speaking to him ever again.

I wish it was that easy. He lives just around the corner from me. I'm best friends with his brother & have the same social circle. I'm very close to his family. Have to attend his sisters wedding. I can cut him off as much as I want but I'm never going to be able to avoid him. Family events, festivals, clubbing, birthdays, get togethers you name it. We can't shut each other out entirely.

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OK, who dumped who? It sounds like you dumped him.

 

I didn't immediately jump on the FWB situation, because I felt like you dumped him. He's still not over you enough to be your friend.

 

Actually, I'm not sure she dumped him. Look at her username. :)

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HeBrokeMyHeart
Actually, I'm not sure she dumped him. Look at her username. :)

He dumped me due to arguments & his insecurities.

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You do understand he's your EX for a reason. Otherwise you to would be together right now. He has betrayed your trust in him. Can't take any thing he tells you right now seriously.

 

Frankly pick-up yourself and move on. Avoid all contact this this former lover. Let him lurk around for someone else who's weak minded. Your much stronger than that!

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He dumped me. He pushed me away. But kept coming back until I blocked him on everything. Yet he's got his best friend & mutual friends snooping on me

 

Just go as NC as you can. I think this is a FWB situation.

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evanescentworld
I wish it was that easy. He lives just around the corner from me. I'm best friends with his brother & have the same social circle. I'm very close to his family. Have to attend his sisters wedding. I can cut him off as much as I want but I'm never going to be able to avoid him. Family events, festivals, clubbing, birthdays, get togethers you name it. We can't shut each other out entirely.

 

Oh goodness... then this one is going to run and run....!

 

Shut him out as much as is possible. Do not get into any discussion with him involving intimacy, sex, or anything else of that kind.

I had a buddy who told me once he had a disorder which made him talk about sex to women he wanted to get friendly with....:rolleyes: He maintained he couldn't help himself, it was an illness....

At first, he was distant, then tame, then he became suggestive and quite blatant.

The moment - the INSTANT - he began to discuss such things with me, I either turned and walked off, or hung the phone up on him.

Oddly enough, after a while, I "cured" him of this affliction, where I was concerned! Medical miracle! :laugh:

 

Be sure, in any such event, to do the same.....

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HeBrokeMyHeart
Oh goodness... then this one is going to run and run....!

 

Shut him out as much as is possible. Do not get into any discussion with him involving intimacy, sex, or anything else of that kind.

I had a buddy who told me once he had a disorder which made him talk about sex to women he wanted to get friendly with....:rolleyes: He maintained he couldn't help himself, it was an illness....

At first, he was distant, then tame, then he became suggestive and quite blatant.

The moment - the INSTANT - he began to discuss such things with me, I either turned and walked off, or hung the phone up on him.

Oddly enough, after a while, I "cured" him of this affliction, where I was concerned! Medical miracle! :laugh:

 

Be sure, in any such event, to do the same.....

Yeah it's just hard. NC is doing me good so far, I'm dating other people, actually hooked up with someone else (reluctantly) am meeting new people, focusing on my job more & myself. I know I don't want a relationship yet as I know it will be a rebound (which he is currently in) and I'm not finished with the emotional damage of the relationship. I'm more then happy being single & taking this time out to focus on myself, because I did loose myself in the relationship a lesson I have learned. It's just some days it just comes back and hits me and then I just can't get him off my mind.

 

I do still care for him & love him (no natter what he did) and I don't think that will ever go away, but I am moving on with my life & I have been happy this last week just today it's come back to haunt me

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I wish it was that easy. He lives just around the corner from me. I'm best friends with his brother & have the same social circle. I'm very close to his family. Have to attend his sisters wedding. I can cut him off as much as I want but I'm never going to be able to avoid him. Family events, festivals, clubbing, birthdays, get togethers you name it. We can't shut each other out entirely.

 

Nobody said it would be easy.

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