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Since Ex-Girlfriend hasn't contacted since Breakup


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Hello, there my name is "Woodbridge", I honestly need some help and advice from people. I was in a 2 and a half year relationship and honestly out of the blue, my world came crashing down. I was literally blindsided by this break up and since this semester is coming to an end. "Been Broken up since end of August" This pain and depression inside still really hurts and I honestly don't know why I can't move on. She hasn't contacted me once since three months and all three contacts was from myself. The only time she contacted was three days later past my birthday and wrote a Paragraph her reasoning was not to cause any " Negative" Affects on my birthday.

 

Background Story

 

My ex an I started dating when I was 19 and she was 17, Now 22 and a Senior and she is 19 turning 20 and a Sophomore. I was her first everything to boyfriend, kiss, intimacy and first love. Truthfully our relationship wasn't toxic and we both learned and grew with each other over the years and pushed each other to be the best we can be. This past summer before everything just stopped we had an amazing time. But I must say this summer was the first time I ever felt like I had to take a break on this relationship. My heart wasn't in the right places and I felt she was not pushing for me to be the best I could be but yet holding me back. But at the time and still now because I still love, I didn't care because I knew no matter what direction I go in life with my international business career I would be successful and her happiness was all that matter. I tried to take a break from her this summer and that lasted less then 24 hours when I was visiting MN Saint's Pauls for a business meeting that lasted for a week. Please Guys throughout my whole life I never felt like this one time. I have always been very well rounded and driven to be different and unique my whole life. It honestly took my ex 8 months to even let her inside my heart but it took over a year and half to fall in love with her.

 

What Cause the breakup.

 

A week when she was transitioning to a much larger University know for their "Greek Life" I pushed her to go out, make tons of friends and take advantage of Syllabus week and Orientation week because she was awfully homesick and I had to drive days before school started from my University to hers which was a 4.5 hour drive because she was constantly crying, and depress and most of her she said her biggest mistake was not transferring to my school. But then less then two weeks later, I caught her and the guy I believe she has been currently talking over the 4 months since we have been broken up. Talking at 6 am in the morning and they were quite flirtous and the excessive amount of emojis and flirting that was going on felt horrible inside my heart, I honestly don't believe she is the type of girl that would be sleeping around but I never in a millions years would ever believe or even had any doubts she would cheat. I scrolled through pages of them talking and when confronting her on the phone. I was kicked out of her Facebook and her password was changed, and after an hour of arguing I gave her the ultimatum of giving me back her password and when she did all the messages was gone. But I notice one thing she made a mistake on and it was her accidentally archiving one of her only friends at the university. The summary of it was saying, "Hey "x" he is so into you and hes quite a cute one, My "x" responding very happily and enthusiastic even posting his link to "The she cheated with" and agreed was constantly asking questions about him.

 

I don't have proof of her physically cheating on me but please guys, emotionally if you were to read the conversations is was literally screaming I am single. Everything happen on that Sunday but I didn't believe she would give up on us like that. So during that week I gave her space, I wanted to let her know that my silence was speaking volumes at her saying what you did wasn't right. But throughout the weeks the phonecalls stopped, then the text messages stopped and eventually it wen't numb for 24 hours till she contacted my bestfriend asking that I unblocked her on facebook so she can send me a letter at thursday night around 12 am. I unblocked her and waited for her for an hour and then when receving nothing. I called her asking what she wants and she responded "I am tired I send you it tommorrow" which sent me into a honestly emtional state. That's when I knew things were done, the next day I drove to her school and I broke begging and pleading asking her why, and she gave me nothing. She is honestly not the same girl I have fallen in love with anymore guys. But why is my heart still holding on, I even ended up being in a rebound relationship that I didn't even classify as a rebound till I realized I still loved my ex.

 

How can I still love someone when they have no remorse, I know we are young but literally how can someone just do that? Please guys I need your help understanding my feelings and why I want someone who hasn't contacted. It wasn't even a break up, it was honestly more like a divorce a betrayal.

 

I tried my best and did no contact three times and during the time I lost 30 pounds and I am honestly in the best shape of my life. I will be running into her this christmas break because she works for my distant family fine dining restaurant which I introduce her too.

 

My question is, Is the reason why I am still holding onto her and not helding accountable for her actions is because I still am "inlove with her?" and the fact that we haven't physically seen each other since my huge transformation is the reason why I still have hope she will be running back into my arms? I even went the the extent of deactivating all social networks this past thanksgiving to just help calm my anxiety and my sad behavior. Because when visiting home this past thanksgiving and celebrating with family, all i could think of is having her by my side and horrible flashbacks of us having fun during break together.

 

Please LoveShack Family be honest, be brutal so I can finally move on and be Honestly Happy again. I know I have made alot of progress because for the first time in my life sine the break up a couple of weeks ago I could finally smile at my self in the mirror. But please help and ask any questions and I will clarify if confused.

 

Thanks,

WB

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mate that sounds rough, kinda similar to me. i don't love the girl my ex became, but i can't let go of the person she was.

having gone out with you for so long i wouldn't be surprised if she gets in touch at some point, but just make sure its because she misses you, and isn't just turning to anyone because she is lonely.

as for you, it took me a couple of months, but I'm so glad I'm single right now, nothing to do with other girls, but just because I'm free, don't have to deal with ex's problems and I'm having a blast with my mates, and doing better at my work.

being in a relationship was great, but you'll find soon enough that you had missed being single (I'm similar age to you man).

also, never let a girl make an excuse for cheating. if they want forgiveness they best grovel on hands and knees and admit what they did was disgusting.

you and me both have to wait for that girl who will appreciate us, and until then enjoy being single.

it gets better mate, good luck

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Move on with your life. Trust me you are more seasoned and at the right time will find the right girl.

To me, it appears she been wanting out for awhile. **** doesn't happen unexpectedly, there are always signs.

 

Its apparent to me she moved out and doesn't feel the same way. You're still young, trust me life goes on. You have your whole life ahead of you and will be in other relationships.

 

Continue to improve and focus on yourself.

 

The way I See it, it shouldn't take someone months or years to realize what they lost. So if she does come back later, it's probably bevauss she's lonely or you are a back up. So, don't accept her back!

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