complex situation.......

[holaguys]

My bf broke up with me 5 months ago. I was completely devasted and started talking about it to many of my friends. Some of them were our common friends. Since my ex broke up with me on phone I did not have answers to many of my questions.

Our common friends became distant from my ex. some of them tried to talk to him. but he refused to answer any of their questions. said he want to put everything behind him.

I was very hurt in the begining and did not talk to him. but later I smiled at him once and then he started saying Hi to me whenever he saw me. i only used to greet back and never tried to be friendly it was too painful.

As you know people talk one of my friends talked about my situation to his friend withour mentioning my exs name.

this guy was a friend of my ex he went and told him that he would like to punch my ex since he was so mean.

My ex became so mad that he stopped talking to me. he doesnt even say hi. I tried to talk to him. he said he will calll me but never did. he did not answer my phone calls.

I stopped calling him and now its being one month. Everytime we come across each other he just walks past me as if I dont exsist.

All this still hurts. Is there any way i can fix this

Should I send him a apology note? or talk to him? or just let it go!

I know I shouldnt have talked about it to anyone. people form their own opinions and start spreading things

Please advice what should I do

[Merin]

Let it go, and leave it alone.

 

You know IMHO your bf kind of set himself up for this.. when he decided to end the relationship he didn't allow you to get any kind of closure to understand what had gone wrong.. while it may not make it okay for you to talk with people the both of you know regarding the situation, in some ways he has no one to blame but himself as he could've given you the answers you were looking for yourself.

 

You were hurting and needed people to talk to.. again not the best idea probably to have done it with people you both knew and were friends with.. but don't beat yourself up over it.

 

I myself am never a fan of having someone tell someone else how I feel or what I think.. to much gets lost in the translation, so I just don't do it.

 

I wouldn't stress over this... the relationship between the two of you is over.. leave it alone, don't call him anymore and don't sweat it that he's p!ssed now... he'll get over it.

 

Good Luck

[Weird]

Sounds like the guy is acting like a pussy.

 

I say you let it go. He doesn't deserve you thinking about him and stuff like that

[holaguys]

Thank you so much guys for your advice.

I thought so too and did not call him for a month now. But we attended the same meeting on Friday and I started hurting and becoming sad again.

In the meeting I behaved perfectly normal. Neither did I pay extra attention to him nor did I ignore him. Was chatting and smiling with my friends. But this whole weekend I was miserable again and felt the urge of calling him and letting him know.

 

I wrote this letter what do you think

" I just want to set the records staright and get this off my mind.

I think I felt the need to discuss my feeligs and confusion with my friends, to be honest I shouldnt have talked about this to my friends. I just want you to know I am really very sorry that I did this.

I dont think the words i used would have hurt you had you been present but I also dont know what exactly have you been told.

It was never my intention to hurt or upset you.I only hope the bitterness between us will eventually dissappear

As sincerely as possible

me"

 

What do you guys think should I write this?or should I let things be?

does this sound defensive and needy?

[Vosser]

This guy doesnt deserve you in my eyes. I have treated my girl wonderful and we go on a break So i wonder how long to i let her to her space she needs. But IF u want to hear about that u would go to my Post. This guy either had something on the side or just is playing it out all wrong. To tell you the truth evven thouhg he doesnt deserve you I would send him a letter just so you got an explanation to what he did and why he did it.

[Weird]

Well, I would aprpeciate getting a letter like that as I like when people are honest and open with me. However, I apparently am not like the majority of humans so I really don't know how the leter will come off in his mind. But then again, the purpose of sending the letter is really for you so if you want to send it then I say you do. Nothing to lose, right?

[Vosser]

Well if you look at it this way you already lost him what can u lose becides him. The letter must be honest and truthful. I dont know if you want him back but if youdo bring up a memory in the letter he would like. Everybodys got a soft spot especialy if the relation meant something for a great while. DO it for yourself mostly though. A letter is very personal. DOnt write e-mails. I just wrote my girl a 6 page letter and put some stuff in there that meant something to me. I told her not to open it unless u are thing about me. I am still waiting for the call back I gave it to her on sunday. I think it will help, but I gota take time and consider her space to and just remind her that I love her and jut her decide. just tell him how you feel ya need to tal kabout it MSN [email protected] OR AIM Immunegs

[holaguys]

Thank you for the advice guys!

You all right I think I am gonna send the letter what do I have to loose.

Thanks again

[Weird]

Out of curiosity, how old are you and your ex?

[Vosser]

Hey i am 21 years old and she is 20. We have been going out for 4 yrs. If you need more info just let me know. This it to late for me is wha t i want to know? oyu cant talk ot me on MSN [email protected] or AIM immunegs..

 

Thanks

nick

[Weird]

how old are you holaguys?

[holaguys]

What has my age to do with all this? Anyways I am 25 and my ex is 29. But this is a frirst relationship for both of us.

Don't be surprised where I and he come from we dont have boyfriends or girlfriends as commonly found in western countries.

[Weird]

Age has a big factor in the relationship game.

 

What country do you live in? It being the first relationship for both of you doesnt make me surprised. I wish more people spent time finding a person they felt they could actually be with for a long time rather than just get hooked up to whatever piece of meat that comes walking by giving them an eyebrow.

[holaguys]

I am from India but now we both are in US.

You know what Mr. Weird now i dont feel like sending him any letter or calling him or anything I am fine now. I guess it was just the effect of seeing him and being with him in the same room that brought back all the memories.

I am considering this over. I hope I am makin the right decision and hope this feeling lasts. I wish I could have handled things more maturely. !

but I am not going to hold any resentment against him. I am still sad but I am not going to try and be selfish.

I have to respect his decision. If he doesnt want to talk thats fine with me.!

The problem is I have to see him quiet often in school! may be after a few days i will start feeling miserable again.

I am just tired of these ups and downs.

Doyou guys have any suggestion to overcome this. Should I completely avoid him and for how long !

[Vosser]

well heres the deal we are from The United States, Minnesoata to be exact. I have been dateing her for 4 years I have had two long term relationships and she has had just me and a few little ones. I know that we are on this break b/c she has only been in this one relationship and she told me she had ot make sure it is right for her. The four years have been happy for both of us. she thinks we have a problem b/c we dont fight and we see to much of each other which i remind you in only on weekends right now. SHe wants to spend time with her college girl friends with out me influenceing her life, or so she says. I have to believe her though b/c she has been nothing but honest to me with this thing so far. This is more than a piece of meat walking by I dont even think of women as pieces of meat. I know she is about two years younger, but does that make her mature enough to think about future or just fun?

[Weird]

holaguys,

 

I think you acted fine with handling things. It is good to hear you have made up your mind about the letter and seem to be OKwith things. Good job:)

 

Vosser,

 

hmm, hard to say. I think it is very rare that people around your/her age can handle things and are usually very undecided with what they want. I say you just give her space and time. Only she will know if you are the right one for her and as sucky as it is, you have to just stand by and let her figure things out herself.