BigUD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) Hi, I've been a no nonsense introvert type of person for the past 10 years of my life(i'm 21 right now). Since i've been brought up in a military school, i'm kinda more disciplined and mature than other people of my age, and I didn't know a thing about relationship, coz i had not been in any, though I've had 2 flings but the girls approached me and started it, anyways when I was like 18, She met me at a wedding(She was 15), but she looked much mature than 15, like she had a model like stature and stood 5'10 and was beautiful and confident.I'm not a bad looking guy either. Ladies often compliment me that I look good, i'm not lying(I'm 6'4 and have an athletic built), but i'm not a player coz I treat ladies respectfully and I used to believe in long term relationships. Anyways, she approached me to ask something about the directions to the hallway, and we just happened to talk and we had a long interesting conversation, she introduced me to her mom and everyone, later we exchanged bb pins and numbers. From that night onwards she used to chat with me all the time on bbm, I just realized that we have many things in common and she was mature, so one day she just told me that i know its good that we've met and known each other long enough now but we should go no furthur than being friends, coz she was dumped by a guy earlier and she doesn't believe in that bull**** anymore. I was cool with that(since she is only 15 and i'm 18), she did admit that she had a huge crush on me, we became good friends, hung out together very often, but that just kept on growing and it was much more than that, when she had problems with her parents, I used to support her, she started I love yoing all the time and so i replied it as well but used to mention, we're just friends. I moved to the city college after that and we used to chat less then, she often complained that i'm not interested in her and i'm just friendzoning her(i wasnt even aware of the term at that time, I was but didn't know it was worst than hell). But it wasn't like that, since i've only got few friends, i have no reason to ignore her. this just went on, An year later her parents got tranferred and she got into a new school and new life, earlier she said she misses everyhing and the new school peers are hostile towards her so i used to comfort her by talking to her all night long, Anyways, sometime later she got well acquainted and had a lot of friends, her opinions kept on changing about everything in life, she stopped talking to me for a while and when we just started she told me she's seeing someone, I was kinda humiliated and askd how could you, i love you and all, she then said, you shouldnt have said that, we were just friends and you just ruined everything, she admitted about a year ago that she likes me but now she said, when have I ever? I never liked you and kept on lying about everything. after that I told my friends about all that, they just hugged me and empathized with me, they said our bro just died in action in the friendzone. My life became hell after that for a coupla months, i never used to drink or smoke earlier but the folowing month, i smoked a lotta weed and guzzeled heavily. I just asked her why, she said coz you're a nice guy. after sometime i eventually got over all that but i lost a lotta friends and did bad at college, everyone around me started avoiding me coz they thought I was acting very wierd, and being aggressive all the time, eventually i got sober and got over all that as well. 6 months later she chatted up and said, she siad dont ignore me, i miss you n all that crap and just when i thought that it all began, she started ignoring me again, my friends say that i was too gentle with her, i should've acted like a player, so now what should I do, talk to her again or not(its been almost 3 years and I still can get over her), and its also coz i'm a loner and its hard for me to get a life right now, is she gonna come back? Please reply me women, where have I gone wrong? What should I do? Edited October 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added much needed paragraphs, please use them Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Paragraph breaks are key. Is she gonna come back? No. It's been three years. She's so far gone and has been for a long time. What does ignorance have to do with any of this? You need to work on yourself. BIG TIME. You may want to seek therapy to help control your anger, to not use drugs and alcohol as a crutch and to learn healthy relationship patterns. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 You went wrong by being her friend. She wanted to date you & you never took her up on that. After all those years of rejection, she started dating somebody else. You also didn't anticipate that a 15 year old girl is going to go through many changes as she grows up. Her opinions on things & her views on the world are going to change as she grows. You expected her to stay the little girl who hero worshiped you. When she started to distance herself instead of dealing with your pain you masked it with drugs & alcohol. They are never solutions to anything. At this point, you can't really salvage much of this relationship in the short term. Go out & explore the world on your own. Find somebody else to date. As you put distance & time into this mess, your intense feelings will soften & then you may be able to talk again but stop with the ILYs until you clarify what they mean & you're both on the same page platonic friends only or romance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BigUD Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 The problem is, just when I'm through with her timewise, like 6 months or something, she texts me and says she wants to meet me, when I reply her, she doesn't respond at all, literally no reply. Is she playing games or what? Have I really missed a great opportunity? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 The problem is, just when I'm through with her timewise, like 6 months or something, she texts me and says she wants to meet me, when I reply her, she doesn't respond at all, literally no reply. Is she playing games or what? Have I really missed a great opportunity? Why do you keep replying if that's what she always does? Seems really damn foolish on your part. Either way, you've missed your window it seems. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Have I really missed a great opportunity? TOTALLY. Personally, I love chasing after people who are flaky, inconsistent, bread-crumb droppers. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 The problem is, just when I'm through with her timewise, like 6 months or something, she texts me and says she wants to meet me, when I reply her, she doesn't respond at all, literally no reply. Is she playing games or what? Have I really missed a great opportunity? You missed a great opportunity to date an immature nut job. Six months from now when she comes back, don't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
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