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Lost my girl and trying to get her back. Need s.


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Hi guys.

 

I'm having a hard time with my ex gf right now and need help.

We broke up 1 month ago and she told me then that she do not want to see me or hear me ever again. I went straight NC and did a lot of reading and i changed myself because i had to.

 

Out of the blue i decided to go to her place and we had sex. I told her that i'm over her and so on.

Later she texted me like the whole day and night with some crazy texts. I felt bad about it and the next day i showed up to her place again with a breakfast. We spend the whole day having sex and cuddling. We went for a walk as well.

She told me that we could see each other again every now and then and i said ok.

The next day she texted me again something to which i responded in a very friendly way. She then sent me another very strange text stating "**** you, selfish bastard, laugh if you want but i'm not at all over you. do not ever contact me again" which i looked at like WTF is going on because she was the one to dump me and to tell me that she had no feelings left for me. And now out of the blue she was somehow grieving for me and i don't know what else. She proceeded to call me a few times to which i hung up because i didn't knew what to say. So i decided again to go to her place.

 

She told me that i became an ******* (which is very nice for me because i wanted to change in that way). She told me that i could laugh at her because when we first met and had sex we told each other that we could be FWB if no one of us is getting in love again. I told her that the bet is if someone does - the other can laugh his ass of. So i asked her if she was in love with me again and she told me no, because i was in love with you a couple of months after we met, but i have feelings for you (which is very strange since she told me she never loved me when she broke up with me).

 

I decided to make it easier for both and told her that for the 4 years we've been together i loved her truly only the first year. I told her that i still love her the way i used to back then but i'm not going to be her bitch no more. (she told me a couple of times that she wanted me to be the man i was in our first year and it's true because then i was really happy WITH her, after that somehow i became really happy BECAUSE of her, so i did a lot of stupid **** and that's probably why she left me). I told her that i want to be with her again but not in the way we used to be.

 

So i told her that if she wants to give it a shot we can start going out like we are meeting for the first time. One step at time. I told her that deep inside me i knew we both don't know each other at all because all we did the past years was playing stupid games. So i guess if we manage to know each other we can pull something wonderful out of this.

So i told her to decide - we will try or when i close the door this will be tha last time she sees me.

She decided to give it a shot. Since she was leaving town for a couple of days i told her that we can go out when she returns. She told me that she may not want to but then mumbled silently that "she will probably want to" like i didn't heard it...

I didn't asked or begged her. Just told her OK, have a nice weekend and left.

 

So it's been 2 days so far without contact from her side. I just wonder if she is playing stupid games to test me if i really changed or what? Because the old me so far would have sent a couple of text asking her why she do not text or call me. But i did none of that so far.

 

It's just strange because in the course of 4-5 days she sent me over 50 text and called me like 20 times. And now 2 days nothing at all.

 

What do you think?

 

Just to make things clear - i was a classic pussy in the course of the past 3 years - spammed her phone, calling her like crazy all the times, buying her gifts and so on. I swinged back and fort from beeing extremely nice to being an ultimate ******* - not calling at all, not wanting to see her etc. I had my ups and downs and been through a lot of **** those years so i have my explanation.

But now i've changed for good and now i know when to be kind or an *******. I realized that i have boundaries which she have to respect from now on and if she does not i am willing to walk away at any time.

 

Maybe this is the thing that helped me to get in touch with her but i don't know why she is playing her games again since i made it very clear that i want to be with her but i don't HAVE to be with her if she is acting poorly.

 

Any advice how to proceed? Is she playing some kind of game with that no texting no calling or what?

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i never read anything but the title. i give people hope. i got my gf back when i thought it would be impossible. getting her back was 100 times harder than the break up. when you get someone back you have to let go of everything they, even if it was unfair. you have to put 100 percent more effort then they did , even if they are the one who made the mistake. you have to put up with all the heart ache, mistrust and fear of them doing it again. she WILL give you bread crumbs. she will give you false hope. she will throw **** in your face. WHY , its unknown? i never found out why , and i have been back with my partner for a year now. i still dont know why she treated me like ****. maybe because she wanted to run me out of her life. maybe because she felt guilty or maybe because she just didnt know if she was making the right decision.

 

i fought hard. so hard it made me sick. i went through hell n back. if you watch that move the persuit of happiness with will smith. n how he goes threw hell to get this job n raise his son. its same thing. but instead your trying to get her back. n its hard because your mentally n physically destroyed because of depression. it took a very long time and so much work. but if you truly love someone? will you let them go because they hurt you so bad.

 

well not me, i got her back. I GOT HER BACK. and id do it again. and again for ever. because i love my girl and id rather know that i tried hard n won then gave up and asked what if.

 

the good things always over whelm the bad. let your old relationship with her die. start a new one with her. fight for her. be her knight in shining armor. dont hold grudges and what not, let it go. and if it comes back it was meant to be.

 

i am happy finally , with my gf. it took allong time but i am here now, with her. and yes I THOUGHT it was impossible. i thought that no matter what i did, i woulld never get to hold her in my arms again. but now i do.

 

i never stopped contact. i never contacted her though, i let her contact me n i respectfully replied. even though she ignored when i did. eventually she will see how great you are. no matter what. if its true love, she will find her way to you.,

 

trust me....... I WAS YOU.......

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OP, did you create another thread? I'm asking because I responded to a similar story quite recently. If was you, please go back and read the advice posted there. If it wasn't you, I suggest you read the posts in that thread.

 

In short, it's toxic and not wise to continue with this.

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I checked that user and in spite of the similarity it's not my case.

 

However this is getting pretty ****ed up.

I went to her palace today to see her and she told me that she had something to tell me. I thought "****, there is another guy".

But no - she told me that she was going overseas to work. BUT, she never ever left out country, she don't have a job there and she will be staying with a person she barely knows. At this point i was like WTF? I couldn't hold my anger and frustration and let it all out.

 

She told me that if i said to her that i loved her and wanted to be with her before a few days maybe she wouldn't go. I was like WTF again because she left me in the first place and maybe she was the one to tell me she wants to be with me. She told me that the last week she told me she wants to be with me and i said that i do not want and i'm pretty sure that this didn't happened.

 

And now i do not know what the **** should i do because she had bought a plane ticked and i don't know what could i possibly do. I thought that she do not want to be with me and i was trying to get her back and now she tells me that she wants to be with me but i was the one that didn't?

 

WTF guys...

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