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girlfriend dumped me after 4 years, (Updated)


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Hello everyone

First of all im sorry if my english not perfect im from israel and this place just seem like a good place for advice.

 

During the last 4 years i was in a realtionship with the love of my life.. my age is 21 and shes 19.

We were perfectly fine with each other while we hang out. We always had fun and laughing and was best friends.

In the last couple monthes i got into some confusion about our relationship, i was under pressure time in my life and i started stop treat her well. This means i didnt told her i love her a lot, didnt answered her calls all the time and was an ass sometimes I admit.

I even did a mistake when i got to close to a friend in my work, she was jealous on her and i didnt stoped.. i bought her a present to her birthday and even did a mistake while send an SMS to my gf that i think i have feelings for the other girl (i was drunk and the message was suppose to be for one of my friends not my gf)

She forgived me and left me 2 days after.

Basically she said she dont want this realtionship anymore, at first she said she have feelings for someone alse and dont love me. Couple days later she said she still loves me and she realized it but she dont want to try again and wanna stay friends...

 

 

I was broken. I begged her to come back, made her a video with her photos, bought her a present for the israeli valentine day . Tryed to cry tryed to talk like a man all failed.

 

I have to say that i tryed to let her go to. I havent called her for 2 weeks and she was calling my twice a day. Finally i answered and she was crying that she miss me, my voice, my laugh...

She promised she dont have someone alse and she just want to talk to me because she miss me

We did meet up few times after the break and she asked me to meet too. Still with the promise there is no one alse .

 

On saturday was my birthday. She asked to take me to a breakfast so much that i had to agree ..

When she went to the bathroom i checked her SMS and found out that she is talking with so guy for hours in every day. Dated him few times and sended him a message like , love you and kisses

I was broken. I asked her about it and she said i wanted to tell you.. cryed to me while i took her home

She said they just dated a few times but i guess he his the main breakup reason..

I told her not to speak to me ever again.

Since than she calls me every day 3 times and i dont answer

 

Honestley, i want her back but im confused how to do that now... someone help?

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I even did a mistake when i got to close to a friend in my work, she was jealous on her and i didnt stoped.. i bought her a present to her birthday and even did a mistake while send an SMS to my gf that i think i have feelings for the other girl (i was drunk and the message was suppose to be for one of my friends not my gf)
There is no wonder why your girl friend left you. I don't blame her. If you can be this careless what else you can expect other than this? That is I why believe when men get drunk their mind is wide open.

 

When she went to the bathroom i checked her SMS and found out that she is talking with so guy for hours in every day. Dated him few times and sended him a message like , love you and kisses

I was broken.

What you did was sneaking,, after she left you what she do or did is non of your business.

I told her not to speak to me ever again.

Since than she calls me every day 3 times and i dont answer

Honestley, i want her back but im confused how to do that now... someone help?

If you want her back why you said so? I don't think anything else you can than letting it go. Either you can answer when she call and apologize for your behavior and give a try but I don't see any good health on this.
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Next time she calls you ask her directly what is she offering you.

 

1. If she has no clear and precise offer, it means she just plays with you and your feelings and ask her to stop doing that for ever.

 

2. If she wants to be friends with you, tell her you refuse, it either everything or nothing, bye bye, (go to section 1)

 

3. If she wants to reconcile than she should stop all communication with this guy and you want to see how it's done.

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There is no wonder why your girl friend left you. I don't blame her. If you can be this careless what else you can expect other than this? That is I why believe when men get drunk their mind is wide open.

 

What you did was sneaking,, after she left you what she do or did is non of your business.

If you want her back why you said so? I don't think anything else you can than letting it go. Either you can answer when she call and apologize for your behavior and give a try but I don't see any good health on this.

 

look, i know i did my mistakes but im really sorry about them. Truely sorry.

Ill do everything for a second chance and ill keep her so close to me this time..

i told her not to talk to me again because i was hurt she is going out with an other guy so fast , furthermore she lied to me she dont to keep talking with me and feel good. So yes, it burns.

 

 

about the second comment, i need to answer her after this ? Because if she really want to talk she could come to my house or call from another number no?

It burns my heart to know she is dating another guy and im starting to feel that his better than me on her eyes.. even though she cant stop talking to me and still loves me a lot.

I was thinking to keep NC untill she maybe realize that she has done a mistake and come asking me back.

but you say i have to make clear with her first?

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me and still loves me a lot.

I was thinking to keep NC untill she maybe realize that she has done a mistake and come asking me back.

but you say i have to make clear with her first?

 

The problem with your way is that it can take a while until she shows up in your place, if ever. So you're like a hostage in her hand, you can't have her, and you can't move on.

 

For your best interest, you want to know where you stand as soon as possible. So, stop playing games, talk to her and tell her that you decided it's everything or nothing. and since she can't give you everything, than it's bye bye.

 

After that you can start moving on with your life, forgetting her.

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The problem with your way is that it can take a while until she shows up in your place, if ever. So you're like a hostage in her hand, you can't have her, and you can't move on.

 

For your best interest, you want to know where you stand as soon as possible. So, stop playing games, talk to her and tell her that you decided it's everything or nothing. and since she can't give you everything, than it's bye bye.

 

After that you can start moving on with your life, forgetting her.

 

As you said i called her back an hour ago.

she started cryind and said she cant belive she hurted me like this and thats wasnt her meaning.

Finally i told her that I still love her and ready to try again if she want, if not than she needs to leave me in peace. No calls No Sms nothing more.

she kept crying and said she dont belive how amazing am i that i want to come back to her after what she had done.

she started telling me that she didnt like ot to end this way bluh bluh but dont want to come back even though "im the best thing ever happend to her"

I told her i got to finish the call, she told me ahe loves me and askked me to tell her too for the last time..

I refused, told her good luck in her life and i got to go..

 

Man my heart is really broken now. I miss her laugh, touch, face, voice, everything and it seems that i just stoke and cant move on.

 

Is there a chance she may come back in Nc? I miss her

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she started telling me that she didnt like ot to end this way bluh bluh but dont want to come back even though "im the best thing ever happend to her"

I told her i got to finish the call, she told me ahe loves me and askked me to tell her too for the last time..

I refused, told her good luck in her life and i got to go..

 

Man my heart is really broken now. I miss her laugh, touch, face, voice, everything and it seems that i just stoke and cant move on.

 

Is there a chance she may come back in Nc? I miss her

 

You see? She made everything foggy for her own interest, against yours.

 

I'm sorry to announce you but she's a real piece of art! She is so selfish. She will do everything to make her feeling better, including continue hurting you again and again.

 

You're heartbroken now, of course because now you realize she's gone. She will not come back. She may and will try to contact you again to give you breadcrumbs. That what she gave you in your last call now - poor musty breadcrumbs.

 

Be strong and don't fall for her next tricks. Later in the future, if it doesn't last with this guy, she may come to you and even tell you she wants you back - DONT do it! If you take her back you're sentenced to another round of this s*it.

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Hi all..

 

ill tell the story shortly for those that dont have time to read it all

My girlfriend in the last past 4 years left me. She lied at the begining she dont have someone alse to still talk to me and i caught her talking to him in whatsapp during reading her sms.

Bluh bluh she said she disnt ment to hurt me and im so great for still wanting her back after that . She didnt want to come back . Told me she loves me, ask me to tell her too as i refused and told her not to talk to me again and i got to go.

Have to say i wasnt the perfect boyfriend lately but i had a lot of pressure. Never cheated on her ir ment hurt her.

 

 

Ok we had the last coverstion on wensday. In this call i aked her if and this guy are toghter. She told me that no. When i found about it first time ahe told me its nothing.

So far so good, yesterday she uploaded a photo of them both too instgram in the beach, smiling, and she wrote "love y <3" same as he did..

my heart burned .. it happend so fast we broke up a month ago

 

I KNOW ITS WRONG , but i cant stop my heart wanting her, how, if theres a stinky way, how the hell can i get her back ?!

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Sorry for your pain man. I know it's tough and hurts inside.

 

Forget about getting her back. There is nothing you can do but to just embrace the pain and move on.

 

She seems to have jumped into a relationship quick and maybe a rebound. The worst you can do is pester her and beg for her back. Your best bet is to back off and give her space.

 

Good luck

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Don't get her back. And go NC. She left you for another guy and lies to you, this is not a girl you want to be with. Your feelings will cease in time as long as you don't keep in touch with her.

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Don't get her back. And go NC. She left you for another guy and lies to you, this is not a girl you want to be with. Your feelings will cease in time as long as you don't keep in touch with her.

 

I dont know. I know my feelings for her can be gone but its just so sad for me to lose them. To give up on my best friend forever, like shes dead or something.

Im already in some kind of a rebound relationship now but its hard to compare.

 

What most hurts that she seems so happy in her photos with the new guy, like its can really work.

 

And the thought they maybe kissed, maybe will sleep at each other house soon, and maybe i lost her forever, just hurts my heart and bones.

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Hi all..

 

ill tell the story shortly for those that dont have time to read it all

My girlfriend in the last past 4 years left me. She lied at the begining she dont have someone alse to still talk to me and i caught her talking to him in whatsapp during reading her sms.

Bluh bluh she said she disnt ment to hurt me and im so great for still wanting her back after that . She didnt want to come back . Told me she loves me, ask me to tell her too as i refused and told her not to talk to me again and i got to go.

Have to say i wasnt the perfect boyfriend lately but i had a lot of pressure. Never cheated on her ir ment hurt her.

 

 

Ok we had the last coverstion on wensday. In this call i aked her if and this guy are toghter. She told me that no. When i found about it first time ahe told me its nothing.

So far so good, yesterday she uploaded a photo of them both too instgram in the beach, smiling, and she wrote "love y <3" same as he did..

my heart burned .. it happend so fast we broke up a month ago

 

I KNOW ITS WRONG , but i cant stop my heart wanting her, how, if theres a stinky way, how the hell can i get her back ?!

 

I'm going through just about the same thing as you except the guy happens to be my BEST FRIEND. To be honest, and this will hurt a bit:

 

YOU WILL NEVER GET HER BACK. It's done. It's over. It will never be the same.

 

I'm torn up inside, just like you, I want her back but I don't want her back. I know she'll never be back, show interest, or every make a move to prove she wants me back. Think of it as a blessing in disguise, I guess, the fact she doesn't want you. In my life I see it everyday, all I can say to you is that I understand how excruciating this pain is. (I had an episode of it just a couple hours back) But now I'm cooling down a bit also, and thinking clearly again.

 

Just understand this these are emotions and over time they will subside..over time being the key. It wont disappear anytime soon. But one day it will..fade.

 

I also feel helpless seeing my ex with my best friend, I'm jealous, full of rage, I have unfinished things I want to say, that I will NEVER get a chance to. It's over. Abruptness is difficult to fathom and allow. But you need to be strong, and in control of your emotions. I know how 'easy' it is to talk to her again, or try to get her to like you, but you can try a million times to make it work but you'll end up again at SQUARE 1 with how your RS ends.

 

It's one of the hardest things to endure, but it has to be endured. There's no way around NC. There's no light at the end of this tunnel of reconsiliation.

 

I'm so sorry.

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I'm going through just about the same thing as you except the guy happens to be my BEST FRIEND. To be honest, and this will hurt a bit:

 

YOU WILL NEVER GET HER BACK. It's done. It's over. It will never be the same.

 

I'm torn up inside, just like you, I want her back but I don't want her back. I know she'll never be back, show interest, or every make a move to prove she wants me back. Think of it as a blessing in disguise, I guess, the fact she doesn't want you. In my life I see it everyday, all I can say to you is that I understand how excruciating this pain is. (I had an episode of it just a couple hours back) But now I'm cooling down a bit also, and thinking clearly again.

 

Just understand this these are emotions and over time they will subside..over time being the key. It wont disappear anytime soon. But one day it will..fade.

 

I also feel helpless seeing my ex with my best friend, I'm jealous, full of rage, I have unfinished things I want to say, that I will NEVER get a chance to. It's over. Abruptness is difficult to fathom and allow. But you need to be strong, and in control of your emotions. I know how 'easy' it is to talk to her again, or try to get her to like you, but you can try a million times to make it work but you'll end up again at SQUARE 1 with how your RS ends.

 

It's one of the hardest things to endure, but it has to be endured. There's no way around NC. There's no light at the end of this tunnel of reconsiliation.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

First of all i must say im sorry for you too man its must be terrible for you losing two of your most important people in life.

 

Second of all, I really dont know how to go on from her man i feel like ****.. we just been in a trip for her birthday 4 months ago and it was amazing. Now its gone so fast !!! Shes with someone alse so fast after so long she choose another person over me. I trusted her so much. I was shocked of it and couldent expect it is happening to me..

She said our relationship is too "normal" . That she is reguler to me . That we dont go to the places ahe would like us to go. That she got sick of my behavior in the last couple months...

 

but a few days before the break up she told me shes loves me like hell and would never leave me...

Than she took a ride on my mistake and blamed me foe every damn thing... shes hurting me so bad with her acts and words ...

And im so confused due to that she told me she still loves me (not enough in her words) but i dont belive it. If she wouldent love me so much she wouldent call me everyday twice when i went NC for two weeks because she only miss me and my pretty voice. She wouldent cry to me at the phone...

 

after she chose to move on over me i went to NC again since 1 week and she didnt call. Im just waiting deep inside for a call of her saying she sorry and miss me. I want my best friend back.. is there really no chance to fix it .. ?

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Requiem4Dreams
Second of all, I really dont know how to go on from her man i feel like ****.. we just been in a trip for her birthday 4 months ago and it was amazing. Now its gone so fast !!! Shes with someone alse so fast after so long she choose another person over me. I trusted her so much. I was shocked of it and couldent expect it is happening to me..

She said our relationship is too "normal" . That she is reguler to me . That we dont go to the places ahe would like us to go. That she got sick of my behavior in the last couple months...

 

but a few days before the break up she told me shes loves me like hell and would never leave me...

Than she took a ride on my mistake and blamed me foe every damn thing... shes hurting me so bad with her acts and words ...

And im so confused due to that she told me she still loves me (not enough in her words) but i dont belive it. If she wouldent love me so much she wouldent call me everyday twice when i went NC for two weeks because she only miss me and my pretty voice. She wouldent cry to me at the phone...

 

after she chose to move on over me i went to NC again since 1 week and she didnt call. Im just waiting deep inside for a call of her saying she sorry and miss me. I want my best friend back.. is there really no chance to fix it .. ?

 

First off, I know how you feel, and I'm sorry that you're having to endure this kind of pain. It's not just losing someone, but feeling inadequate because she left you for another.

 

I know how hard it is to hear this, but the woman you loved is dead. Gone, and buried my friend. The only way to start healing is to let her go, and move on with the life you have. Start making positive changes and look towards the future of where YOU want to be.

 

There is no way you can fix this. Women who can leave you for another person are in essence cheaters, that's all there is to it. She lied straight to your face and moved on to someone else. Can you honestly say you want someone like that back into your life? How could you possible ever trust her not to pull the same behavior again?

 

It's time for full NC, and every time you need to talk or let it all out come back here. Write your thoughts, because everyone on this site has been through what you are going through right now.

 

Chin up brother.

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First off, I know how you feel, and I'm sorry that you're having to endure this kind of pain. It's not just losing someone, but feeling inadequate because she left you for another.

 

I know how hard it is to hear this, but the woman you loved is dead. Gone, and buried my friend. The only way to start healing is to let her go, and move on with the life you have. Start making positive changes and look towards the future of where YOU want to be.

 

There is no way you can fix this. Women who can leave you for another person are in essence cheaters, that's all there is to it. She lied straight to your face and moved on to someone else. Can you honestly say you want someone like that back into your life? How could you possible ever trust her not to pull the same behavior again?

 

It's time for full NC, and every time you need to talk or let it all out come back here. Write your thoughts, because everyone on this site has been through what you are going through right now.

 

Chin up brother.

 

I try hard, i try to rely on my rebound but shes just there all the time !!!!

Maybe as a revenge of a photo i uploaded last month with a friend she hates, she uploaded this photo. I didnt talked to her about it but i act in a mature way and deleted the photo i uploaded with my friend .

I must say im still really confuse and i cant let go and thinking this is all disorves me .

I caused her pain in the last couple months and i keep on blaming my self for this even though i try a lot to tell myself everytime she hurts me , "that is too much this time" i still cant let get the thought that maybe im the ass hole and all this pain disorves me....

I just cant think of her as a bad person because she never caused me harm.

Always loved and worried about me . Putting me before herself.

As i know her she act like that because shes hurts from me.. and i cant let this feeling, that i caused all this, all thia pain, i cant let go this feeling.

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Requiem4Dreams
I caused her pain in the last couple months and i keep on blaming my self for this even though i try a lot to tell myself everytime she hurts me , "that is too much this time" i still cant let get the thought that maybe im the ass hole and all this pain disorves me....

I just cant think of her as a bad person because she never caused me harm.

Always loved and worried about me . Putting me before herself.

As i know her she act like that because shes hurts from me.. and i cant let this feeling, that i caused all this, all thia pain, i cant let go this feeling.

 

Everyone makes mistakes in a relationship. Everyone.

 

There's a constant meme about men taking women for granted. I did it, but I am glad I did it, because had I not done it I would of finished my degree and left next summer to move to P.A from Alaska. I would of dropped my friends, my sweet job making 16 an hour, and my family/hobbies for a pre-made family with a woman who can no longer have kids.

 

I would of done that because I was engaged, and loved her. However, be it divine providence, or my lack of being there as much as I should because of my work/school schedule she left me for another man who showed a little more interest in her than I was capable of during this trying time.

 

The point I'm trying to make is perhaps you're looking at this the wrong way. Take the lessons you learned from this experience, adapt them into your next one, and move on. You're not doing yourself any favors by taking all the guilt and blame for a relationship that takes two people to work.

 

You say she didn't cause you any pain? What exactly are you feeling right now? Guess what, it was caused by her and her desire to not be with you anymore.

 

Stay NC, and look at the relationship without the blinders on and you'll come to realize you deserve better.

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Everyone makes mistakes in a relationship. Everyone.

 

There's a constant meme about men taking women for granted. I did it, but I am glad I did it, because had I not done it I would of finished my degree and left next summer to move to P.A from Alaska. I would of dropped my friends, my sweet job making 16 an hour, and my family/hobbies for a pre-made family with a woman who can no longer have kids.

 

I would of done that because I was engaged, and loved her. However, be it divine providence, or my lack of being there as much as I should because of my work/school schedule she left me for another man who showed a little more interest in her than I was capable of during this trying time.

 

The point I'm trying to make is perhaps you're looking at this the wrong way. Take the lessons you learned from this experience, adapt them into your next one, and move on. You're not doing yourself any favors by taking all the guilt and blame for a relationship that takes two people to work.

 

You say she didn't cause you any pain? What exactly are you feeling right now? Guess what, it was caused by her and her desire to not be with you anymore.

 

Stay NC, and look at the relationship without the blinders on and you'll come to realize you deserve better.

 

Thanks alot your comment really made me feel better.

Truely, Im telling my self alot that maybe her act was right? She wanted me to love her so much and i havent done it enough. I just cant look at her as a bad person . Im thinking of what i would do if she disnt treat me well and i say Ok. Maybe i would leave her but its damn 4 years i wouldent go out with someone alse so fast, i would give her second chance, and i wouldent talk to her like shes a stranger and nothing happend between us beyond friendship.

 

I really want to forget her but my brain just keep imgine our moments and imgine her with this new guy.

 

Im just keep asking my self, did they kissed ? Slept? Are they toghter now? Is he better than me ? She like be with him more than me? Why she is not calling any more? She dont miss me ? Dont remmber our years...?

 

Its hurts to know ive been replaced so fast

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Thanks alot your comment really made me feel better.

Truely, Im telling my self alot that maybe her act was right? She wanted me to love her so much and i havent done it enough. I just cant look at her as a bad person . Im thinking of what i would do if she disnt treat me well and i say Ok. Maybe i would leave her but its damn 4 years i wouldent go out with someone alse so fast, i would give her second chance, and i wouldent talk to her like shes a stranger and nothing happend between us beyond friendship.

 

I really want to forget her but my brain just keep imgine our moments and imgine her with this new guy.

 

Im just keep asking my self, did they kissed ? Slept? Are they toghter now? Is he better than me ? She like be with him more than me? Why she is not calling any more? She dont miss me ? Dont remmber our years...?

 

Its hurts to know ive been replaced so fast

 

Im really depressed that shes not calling..

i miss her voice so much, i know i told her not to and she decided to move on but how she stand it? how can she just delete me in a moment ?

And the worst is all the woman are far from her to me.

i try souch to move on but i feel stoke. i find myself keep thinking about her and what she doing

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Hello everyone.

My ex of 4 years broke up with me about 2 months ago.

at the begging i begged her to come back in every way but she just didnt want to come back.

 

when i was stop talking to her she was calling to cry she miss me.

2 weeks ago i told her to chose, its all or nothing. she choose nothing. told me she loves me and sorry.

 

ok i went NC. during the nc she uploaded a photo from the sea with the guy she started hang out after our break.

at the sea, with the words "love you" while he comment her the same.

it broke my heart . Couple days before the photo i caught her in a lie about that. she used me . she told me she has no one alse but i found out from her SMS that shes hangin with him too close.. she cryed and told me they only go out few times and she was gonna tell me.

 

i stopped all contact with her. now she called me 2 times so i answered.

she was crying and told me "shes sorry she called but she needed to hear my voice."

i answered to her "ok. you heard ? " she told me "yes" and i told her good night.

 

what the hell that means?

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It means you need to stop answering her phone calls.

 

Why ? nc means that im NC but if she calls i do answer no? maybe shell want to go back soon?

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i have a problem.

Its may sounds funny but i found out from her sister facebook that my ex lost her dog.

She loved him alot. really alot. more than anything shes just a kid (18.5) and im very worried for her.

but i dont know what to do, should i contact with her? i really confused and altough she caused me a lot of pain shes still important to me.

also, i dont know if she and the other guy are having a relationship.

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There's always going to be an excuse you can make (I am doing the same thing).

 

All you can do is

 

1) stop everything, distract yourself and stay NC

 

2) Contact and be prepared for the worst .. and I mean be PREPARED for the worst. whatever you do.. don't drag it on.. fight or flight

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