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Just hear da very hurtful thing my ex wrote on facebook


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He wrote this status: never ever the two of us

 

:( I think he wrote it today because a friend of mine contacted me earlier... Today would have been our 21st month anniversary. He dumped me last week. Asked to meet to talk AFTER dumping me via text telling me things that killed me. I refused. (He said that he figured out he's not the person I want, that his feelings for me decreased argument after argument, and that he was thinking of me as a friend FOR A WHILE). The day after dumping me he asked if he could come over this week to pick up his DVDs and talk IF I was ok with it. At first I said ok, then I texted "hey I've put some thought about it, and if we have to meet to have you telling me those horrible things to my face, I'd rather have you calling up one of your friends to come pick your stuff". He replied soon after "as you want".

That was the last exchange between us.

 

This morning, I woke up, took his stuff and brought it to a mutual friend.

 

Do you guys think he wrote that status because he was told of what I did and maybe got hurt by that? We are no longer friends on facebook, we do have mutual friends tho.

I don't get why he would type such a status. I really don't.

 

Please give me opinions, I'm so down right now.

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SoThatHappened

My advice...

 

First, delete your Facebook account.

 

Facebook is 99% evil, and only good for friends/family trying to arrange reunions. To me, it's the epitome of self-centeredness and vanity. "Hey, look at my awesome life"... Pretty much everything on FB is a lie to try to make yourself look better to everyone else, IMO.

 

Also, I believe people that post how happy they are on FB are lying to themselves to make themselves feel better.

 

This is my experience with it... others may disagree... fine.

 

Second, I'm guessing you're young. Probably late teens or early to mid-twenties. You're better off "dating" than being in a committed relationship until you're mature. I honestly believe people don't figure out life or who they really are until their late twenties, maybe later.

 

Third, go no contact. NC. A person who advertises things like that on Facebook is immature and someone you don't want to be with. You are better off. Believe me, you are.

 

Fourth, work on yourself. Deal with the stages of grief, but work on yourself. A person who is healthy (mentally, physically, emotionally) is magnetic to others who are healthy in the same areas, as well as pretty much everyone else. You WILL find someone better.

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My advice...

 

First, delete your Facebook account.

 

Facebook is 99% evil, and only good for friends/family trying to arrange reunions. To me, it's the epitome of self-centeredness and vanity. "Hey, look at my awesome life"... Pretty much everything on FB is a lie to try to make yourself look better to everyone else, IMO.

 

Also, I believe people that post how happy they are on FB are lying to themselves to make themselves feel better.

 

This is my experience with it... others may disagree... fine.

 

Second, I'm guessing you're young. Probably late teens or early to mid-twenties. You're better off "dating" than being in a committed relationship until you're mature. I honestly believe people don't figure out life or who they really are until their late twenties, maybe later.

 

Third, go no contact. NC. A person who advertises things like that on Facebook is immature and someone you don't want to be with. You are better off. Believe me, you are.

 

Fourth, work on yourself. Deal with the stages of grief, but work on yourself. A person who is healthy (mentally, physically, emotionally) is magnetic to others who are healthy in the same areas, as well as pretty much everyone else. You WILL find someone better.

 

I'm 26 he is 21.

Apparently he is pressed because he wanted to end things on good terms while I told I can never be his friend and went NC

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SoThatHappened
Asked to meet to talk AFTER dumping me via text

 

He's 21. That's very immature and spineless, but not surprising.

 

When I was 21, I wanted a girlfriend but didn't want to be tied down either. Completely normal and healthy. I still think fondly about girls I was with at that age.

 

He said that he figured out he's not the person I want, that his feelings for me decreased argument after argument, and that he was thinking of me as a friend FOR A WHILE

 

Hurts, no doubt about it. Argument after argument may show that you two were not compatible and things didn't work. Not something you can change though. What you CAN change is you. Think of improving yourself to 1) prove you're better than what he thought or @0 to find someone better than him... or both. Either way, you win!

 

The day after dumping me he asked if he could come over this week to pick up his DVDs and talk IF I was ok with it. At first I said ok, then I texted "hey I've put some thought about it, and if we have to meet to have you telling me those horrible things to my face, I'd rather have you calling up one of your friends to come pick your stuff". He replied soon after "as you want".

 

Doesn't sound like he was being mean or hurtful here.

 

This morning, I woke up, took his stuff and brought it to a mutual friend.

 

Good job. No contact is your friend.

 

Do you guys think he wrote that status because he was told of what I did and maybe got hurt by that?

 

Again, advertising things like that on FB is just... dumb. However, what was he told of what you did?

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He said that he figured out he's not the person I want, that his feelings for me decreased argument after argument, and that he was thinking of me as a friend FOR A WHILE

Are those the "horrible things he said"? Because IMO, that's about as tame as it gets.

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Chill girl... NC also means not looking at his FB posts. It means avoiding any social network interaction. Any interaction at all (unless it's about tidying up type of things, like mailing stuff back, or getting back together). So the solution to your problem is very simple: Block him on all social networks and instant messengers, apps, online games, any- and everything.

 

You're welcome.

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Chill girl... NC also means not looking at his FB posts. It means avoiding any social network interaction. Any interaction at all (unless it's about tidying up type of things, like mailing stuff back, or getting back together). So the solution to your problem is very simple: Block him on all social networks and instant messengers, apps, online games, any- and everything.

 

You're welcome.

 

I was told about the status

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Are those the "horrible things he said"? Because IMO, that's about as tame as it gets.

 

So you think that sleeping over, telling me he loved me, dinner and acting like we were a couple is ok?

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He's 21. That's very immature and spineless, but not surprising.

 

When I was 21, I wanted a girlfriend but didn't want to be tied down either. Completely normal and healthy. I still think fondly about girls I was with at that age.

 

 

 

Hurts, no doubt about it. Argument after argument may show that you two were not compatible and things didn't work. Not something you can change though. What you CAN change is you. Think of improving yourself to 1) prove you're better than what he thought or @0 to find someone better than him... or both. Either way, you win!

 

 

 

Doesn't sound like he was being mean or hurtful here.

 

 

 

Good job. No contact is your friend.

 

 

 

Again, advertising things like that on FB is just... dumb. However, what was he told of what you did?

 

Honestly, I have no idea. I still wonder why it is so important to him to be "in peace" with eachother

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I was told about the status

 

You don't even know whether it's directed at you. And it doesn't matter because that guy is out of your life now. Let your friends know you don't care for hall way chit chat about your ex.

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So you think that sleeping over, telling me he loved me, dinner and acting like we were a couple is ok?

 

NO! He is using you. Did you sleep with him?

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Do men keep up with 21-month anniversaries? I've been in several relationships and never recognized a 21-month anniversary.

 

The status probably has nothing to do with you at all.

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Do men keep up with 21-month anniversaries?

You made me chuckle a little there, buddy. Yeah OP, you're reading too much into the whole thing. Today's a friday. Hit the clubs with a friend instead of reading tea leaves.

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Why is everyone saying the status is not about us? Its crystal clear. He never posts anything plus he dumped me a week ago. It's so about us. my question is: why posting such thing? He is the dumper. Not me.

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NO! He is using you. Did you sleep with him?

 

I was telling how he faked being a couple for a while when in his heart i wasn't his partner anymore but just a friend....

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I have to ask the obvious question...Why does it matter what it means?

 

You can't determine what it means. He wrote it. Maybe to hurt you, maybe to get your attention, maybe to let you know to leave him alone... maybe for no other reason, except he felt it at the moment....

 

But really...what difference does it make why he wrote it?

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I have to ask the obvious question...Why does it matter what it means?

 

You can't determine what it means. He wrote it. Maybe to hurt you, maybe to get your attention, maybe to let you know to leave him alone... maybe for no other reason, except he felt it at the moment....

 

But really...what difference does it make why he wrote it?

 

It hurts. To give all your love and yourself and count on a person for a future together. And they leave, and also do stuff like this. It's like he's kicking my dead body for no reason

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It hurts. To give all your love and yourself and count on a person for a future together. And they leave, and also do stuff like this. It's like he's kicking my dead body for no reason

 

Being hurt is normal. It means you care. But you have to let go. Stay no contact and do what you can to keep yourself busy and to have friends around you. A few months from now you'll think back about what he did and laugh at how childish he was.

 

Most importantly, stop wondering about what he is thinking or doing. It doesn't matter, he's gone. He doesn't count anymore, it was his choice. And stay the hell away from his facebook, which means blocking him and no googling his name or anything like that.

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Being hurt is normal. It means you care. But you have to let go. Stay no contact and do what you can to keep yourself busy and to have friends around you. A few months from now you'll think back about what he did and laugh at how childish he was.

 

Most importantly, stop wondering about what he is thinking or doing. It doesn't matter, he's gone. He doesn't count anymore, it was his choice. And stay the hell away from his facebook, which means blocking him and no googling his name or anything like that.

 

Never did such things. I wouldn't know about the status of my friend didn't tell me. And he keeps telling our mutual friends how he wish we could be in touch.

 

Then, what is this s*** about?

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ConfusedHumanBeing
Never did such things. I wouldn't know about the status of my friend didn't tell me. And he keeps telWhatermutual friends how he wish we could be in touch.

 

Then, what iwith is this s*** about?

 

You come off as HIGHLY passive-aggressive, so you wont like what Im going to say.

 

He's done. He doesn't want a relationship with you.

 

What he says holds no merit and shouldnt mean crap to you. What he says now is words. They dont hold meaning. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Sucks how he acted and what he did or whatever, but just use that as you can find better. Not worth it.

 

Dont look on social media. I have to take your word on "finding out from someone else" story, but im highly skeptical that it wasnt you who found it. Im any case, just dont do it.

 

You'll be fine. Just keep moving forward.

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those words are nothing I had my ex put the new guy she was sleeping with on the phone....she emailed pics of her ex in her bed....emails pics of her new guys so your situation is fine.

 

Just block his facebook what he is doing and saying is a reflection of him not you.Its very immature and shows that he really isn't someone you want long term anyway.....Mine was a 5 year toxic drama full of trying to hit me with her car....calling cops on me got me arrested...court....dropped all my stuff off in the front of my workplace and left lots of other drama...your situation will be fine just let him go he's not worth it better guys out there

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OK_computer
He wrote this status: never ever the two of us

 

:( I think he wrote it today because a friend of mine contacted me earlier... Today would have been our 21st month anniversary. He dumped me last week. Asked to meet to talk AFTER dumping me via text telling me things that killed me. I refused. (He said that he figured out he's not the person I want, that his feelings for me decreased argument after argument, and that he was thinking of me as a friend FOR A WHILE). The day after dumping me he asked if he could come over this week to pick up his DVDs and talk IF I was ok with it. At first I said ok, then I texted "hey I've put some thought about it, and if we have to meet to have you telling me those horrible things to my face, I'd rather have you calling up one of your friends to come pick your stuff". He replied soon after "as you want".

That was the last exchange between us.

 

This morning, I woke up, took his stuff and brought it to a mutual friend.

 

Do you guys think he wrote that status because he was told of what I did and maybe got hurt by that? We are no longer friends on facebook, we do have mutual friends tho.

I don't get why he would type such a status. I really don't.

 

Please give me opinions, I'm so down right now.

 

Hey,

 

1) How can you say that his status refers to you? For you it's about you. But for him it could be referring to something else. For all we know it was a fleeting thought of his. No one in the world can answer that for you but him.

 

2). How often do people celebrate the 21 anniversary. Im just asking because I've never celebrated that. Was he into celebrating anniversaries and all?

 

3). "argument after argument" See this line right here is a warning sign. Why so many arguments? About what? Perhaps there was communication and compatibility issues? It seems he put some thought into what he did before he did it. I was in the same boat with another ex, where by the end i considered her just a freind and didn't really love her at all. Maybe he was trying to avoid a fight by texting you he wanted to break up, but HE DID offer to meet you after, though it is rather spinless, maybe he was trying to make it easy for you.

 

4). You need to stop wondering why he wrote that status. Maybe its about you, maybe its not. Maybe he's hurt, or maybe he wants to hurt you. who knows? we cannot answer that one for you.

 

BUT, if you really want to know, if you are really dying to know (you seem like a nice girl please excuse me if i sound untoward), then why don't you just ask him? Im serious, just ask him why he typed it? Maybe he'll tell you. send him a message if you need closure for that status, then go full blown NC.

 

 

Thanks,

alex

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OK_computer
Why is everyone saying the status is not about us? Its crystal clear. He never posts anything plus he dumped me a week ago. It's so about us. my question is: why posting such thing? He is the dumper. Not me.

 

 

Again,

 

If you really want to know why he wrote such as status. You need to ask him, no one else can tell you. Maybe get a mutual friend to ask, and make sure you tell him/her to say it's not you asking.

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You should definitely tell that friend not to report these things in future. Any bit of criticism whether intentional or not is going to be magnified and hurt like hell if you have been dumped/rejected and still adjusting and figuring out how to cope. I still think over the things my ex said about me which may not seem too bad to others, but his words are still hurting me a LOT. You don't need to hear this stuff, and will be safer not knowing.

 

As the poster above said, maybe it wasn't about you or just a fleeting thought. Try not to take it too seriously. I know it is very difficult but don't analyse it any more.

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