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Update:Ex showing some sign of affection/missing me?


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http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/472737-thinking-about-sending-letter-but-not-typical-one

 

 

I have an update on a previous thread, linked above. Long story short: GF dumped me in Late March because I neglected her and took her for granted and in general wasnt a great bf. I was clingy and needy for the longest time, until about June. But I never sent the letter mentioned abovr, and we have been in LC all this time. Admittedly, I kept pushing her some until June when she told me her feelings for me had disappeared and she wanted to be friends. I told her i couldnt be just her friend and I then went into NC for 3 weeks. Around June 24 I decided I was ready to be cool and I sent her a message telling her it'd be cool to be friends. I actually meant it. I didn't want there to be any hard feelings.

 

But I was surprised by her response. She said it was weird I had messaged her because she had been crying really hard the night before, thinkinny about July 5 which was coming up...the first time I ever told her i loved her. And she also said it would be nice if we could be friends. I didn't reply, for the first time ever. But on July 6 I got the urge to text her and tell her that I had been thinking about her and that yeah, July 5 was a special day. She said "you reply..." and we had a brief weird conversation and caught up a little bit. She was the one that ended it by not responding to me. I then messaged her and told her it was really weird talking to her like this and it'd take getting used to, to which she said that she ha been thinking a lot about me too and was nervous to see me in August. I told her I wish things could be how they were, but better, to which she said "yeah..." And that's where the conversation ended.

 

 

I know none of this means she wants to get back with me or that I have a shot, but I know now that she does still have feelings for me. They were just repressed by my constant pushiness and neediness.

 

I'm happy with my life and I feel nothing like i felt before. But I do love her and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be with her. How should I proceed with the situation from here on? Continue NC and see if her feelings progress, check in on her here and there? I don't want to blow it like I have bee and I want to handle the situation correctly.

 

I know my chances are minimal and her words may just be breadcrumbs with no significance, but I'm willing to take that risk.

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My mom had a bunch of feral cats she fed. The trick to get them somewhat "domesticated" was to let them come to you. Any sudden move and they'd scatter off.

 

So, yes, I'd let her come to you.

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My mom had a bunch of feral cats she fed. The trick to get them somewhat "domesticated" was to let them come to you. Any sudden move and they'd scatter off.

 

So, yes, I'd let her come to you.

AWESOME! :lmao:
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FYI: we're LDR and we'll be at home for almost a month before going back to college, about 4 hours away from each other. Which complicates things even more.

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My mom had a bunch of feral cats she fed. The trick to get them somewhat "domesticated" was to let them come to you. Any sudden move and they'd scatter off.

 

So, yes, I'd let her come to you.

 

That is my intuition but I've gotten advice from some girls I'm close friends with that I should casually check up on her and actually be friends instead of just ignoring her.

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That is my intuition but I've gotten advice from some girls I'm close friends with that I should casually check up on her and actually be friends instead of just ignoring her.
No..you shouldn't. Let her come to you if she wants but, by no means wait/expect her to. Continue doing you!
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Simon Phoenix
That is my intuition but I've gotten advice from some girls I'm close friends with that I should casually check up on her and actually be friends instead of just ignoring her.

 

Sometimes, the worst advice on how to deal with women comes from other women. Your girl friends are giving you terrible advice. The problem that arises sometimes when women give advice is that they imagine what they would want their Prince Charming to do and don't really take the parameters of your actual situation into account.

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Sometimes, the worst advice on how to deal with women comes from other women. Your girl friends are giving you terrible advice. The problem that arises sometimes when women give advice is that they imagine what they would want their Prince Charming to do and don't really take the parameters of your actual situation into account.

Exactly! They're telling you what they wish the guy's they dumped would do so, they can get the ego fed. Talk to your alpha guy friends and see what they say.

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I agree with you. But what do I do when she reaches out to me? She did a few minutes ago, just some small talk. I feel like ignoring her wouldn't help the situation given that we ended because I was neglectful.

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She continued the conversation again today by telling me she thought about me the entire time during one of the WC games which is what the small talk (im a huge soccer fan). I responded very casually about what said -- I acknowledged it but not too much. Im stuck between wanting to continue NC for both of our sakes but also not wanting to ignore here since our relationship ended due to my neglect to begin with. I just want to know what she's thinking and going with this.

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That is my intuition but I've gotten advice from some girls I'm close friends with that I should casually check up on her and actually be friends instead of just ignoring her.

 

Well, to go back to the cats.. she didn't ignore them.. she wouldn't try to rush and pet them briskly either.

 

Might be a weird analogy.. but that's what I would do.

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Well, to go back to the cats.. she didn't ignore them.. she wouldn't try to rush and pet them briskly either.

 

Might be a weird analogy.. but that's what I would do.

You're the best! :laugh:
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You're the best! :laugh:

 

Good, now all I got to do is convince the next guy that I meet that I am THAT awesome; and that I have feral cat skills.

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Gotcha. I agree with that. And sorry I've been typing like a moron -- I've been doing it from my iPhone and it's just a pain in the ass.

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I have no idea how to respond to her saying all she was thinking about is me. Any tips? I'm afraid it may just be breadcrumbs but I have no way of knowing. I think I need to say something but I don't know what, something that is neither cold or overly receptive.

 

I hate over analyzing this but I do think my responses here matter.

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She texted me Saturday night and said "you wanna know why I'm so ****ed? Because I thought you were the one"

 

I read it but didnt reply because I was drunk, which shows on FB message. In the morning she texted me and "wow sorry ignore that I was drunk." I thought she was scared to put herself out there so i put my neck on the line and said "now you know how I felt....if there's love here it doesn't have to go down this way...If not then fine"

 

To which she said: I was blackout, sorry.

 

So yup: confirmed breadcrumbs. **** her. She finally got me to bite.

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Looks like the feral cat scattered.

 

Sorry man. If it helps, drunk words are sober thoughts. Still, gotta let it be.

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Yup. I didn't actually do it to push. I did it because I had to draw the line. The last thing I said was: if we're done, then you can't be telling me things like this. I'm not playing games.

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