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17 days NC now and it's getting real hard...


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yodudebroman

I just want to speak to her so badly and hear her voice. The realization that it's actually over for good now is finally kicking in.. It's destroying me.

 

Really don't know what to do, just sitting here in pain.

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FailedFirstLove

:) hang in there!! You've been through 17 days already! Don't give up now. Don't let it go to waste.. I don't know your situation but Maybe think of it as.

 

Everyday you have better chance of either ur ex cooling down and missing you more. Or more chance of you healing. :(it's really hard but maybe every week have something exciting planned to look forward to

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yodudebroman
:) hang in there!! You've been through 17 days already! Don't give up now. Don't let it go to waste.. I don't know your situation but Maybe think of it as.

 

Everyday you have better chance of either ur ex cooling down and missing you more. Or more chance of you healing. :(it's really hard but maybe every week have something exciting planned to look forward to

 

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement, helps a lot.

 

It's just heavy man, loving someone so much for over two years and then having them tell you "I don't love you anymore, leave me alone".... it's soul destroying to say the least.

 

I really am in a full blown depression over this, I don't know how I actually manage to get myself to go outside and function on a daily basis. It's like I'm in auto-pilot most of the time because if I allow myself to think about it I just can't do anything.

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I know how you feel! My ex told me he only loves me more as a friend and wants to explore. Yesss, so I know how heart breaking it can be.

 

I never got into severe depression though. I have an amazing support system and they are helping me our however they can. You should definitely surround yourself more with your friends and family. I know thats really been helping me a lot. I'm not going to lie though, there are those times when I still cry at night over him. But it's not as bad as a month ago when he broke it off with me.

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Contact will make it harder, if she is going to come back it will be on her terms. Nothing you can say or do will make her want you. In fact the only thing that will is leaving her alone. Don't get your hopes up, focus on you and your life even thought that is really hard. If you talk to her you will miss her more.

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I just want to speak to her so badly and hear her voice. The realization that it's actually over for good now is finally kicking in.. It's destroying me.

 

Really don't know what to do, just sitting here in pain.

 

First off, get off your butt, if I may say. Don't just "sit here in pain". You will say "easier said than done". Well, a lot of people here were sitting right where you stand, eventually they decided that enough was enough, and slowly they got back up. You can do it too.

 

Second.. No Contact.. it's tough, at first. Think of it as a detox. Little by little, it gets better. Hopefully at one point being NC will empower you. It will be 17 days, then 30, then 3 months. You will feel better, I guarantee you that, as long as you work for it. It's painful, at first, it's totally rewarding in the end.

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Hang in there man.

 

 

7 wks NC for me too. I can't say it gets any better, but it does get easier. Easier how? Because I still care, but I have less desire to follow up on her, knowing that the ball is in her court to follow up and chase me if she wants it, else I'll just keep seeing other people.

 

 

You do the same.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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yodudebroman

I saw it on her facebook, broke down and cried for hours. Sent her a long winded email telling her I love her and asking her how she could have ended it with me so brutally. Left her a voicemail.

 

We talked on Skype, she told me she's sorry she was mean to me when she broke up with me, it was because I kept trying to get back with her.....then we had a 20 minute convo just about her normal daily stuff, like we used to when we were together then she told me she has to block me now and said "Bye."

 

I can't stop crying. I want her back so badly, I know I made my mistakes in the relationship, I do but surely I deserved a chance to make them right?

 

I love this girl more than anything in the world and talking to her again just made everything so much worse because it reminded me of why I love her so much in the first place.

 

I'm at my wits end here guys, I don't know what to do.........my world just feels destroyed. I really don't know what to do, I've spent 90% of this day just crying, anything I try to do to get my mind off her just reminds me of her. The ****ing house I live in reminds me of her for **** sake, the bed I lay on even.

 

I miss this girl so much man, I wish I had a second chance, I can't deal with this pain any longer, I just wanna die.

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FortunateSon

I am truly sorry for what you are going through, I have been there before too. It's easier said than done, but you need to start letting go. No Contact. She is doing you a favor by blocking you, nothing you do or say now will bring her back, and anything new you find out about her will hurt you even more. Anything she has not blocked you on, block her on. Reach out to some family, friends, or a counselor to talk to in the meantime. Keep posting here, there is a a lot of support to be offered.

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loversquarrel

You shouldn't want to die, you should want to live to find that person out there who is better for you. I've been there after a 12 year marriage and it sucks, but I found someone ten times the person she ever was. Give it time, it will happen.

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I know you are in awful pain but all I can say is that many of us have been there...and survived it. Things will change as time goes. You will get stronger

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One thing that has helped me is Valerian root which really helps calm me down. It just makes the pain a little easier some days.

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yodudebroman
Why the **** are you on her Facebook?!?!?!?

 

I just got the urge to look her up one day and I see that she's with another guy now, has a new job and she seemed so happy.

 

I am truly sorry for what you are going through, I have been there before too. It's easier said than done, but you need to start letting go. No Contact. She is doing you a favor by blocking you, nothing you do or say now will bring her back, and anything new you find out about her will hurt you even more. Anything she has not blocked you on, block her on. Reach out to some family, friends, or a counselor to talk to in the meantime. Keep posting here, there is a a lot of support to be offered.

 

I'm trying it's so hard though, I love this girl so much..... even after a month of NC I still couldn't stop thinking about her. How can she just move on so easily? Just can't stop crying.....

 

You shouldn't want to die, you should want to live to find that person out there who is better for you. I've been there after a 12 year marriage and it sucks, but I found someone ten times the person she ever was. Give it time, it will happen.

 

The pain just won't stop though, I can't stop crying my eyes out, I just want her back in my life, I'd do anything to make it happen... but she doesn't want me.

 

I know you are in awful pain but all I can say is that many of us have been there...and survived it. Things will change as time goes. You will get stronger

 

I don't want to survive it or move on though, I just want to be with her.. I know it's messed up but it's the truth.

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You don't want to live, you don't want to move on- stop this whining. If you do not want any of these then why you bother everyone on this forum? Look at their advice and try something. Nobody can help you but you. If I was your friend I would come and slap you hard on the face- then I would take you with me for a nice muay thai sparring and show you what pain really is.

 

Seriously- try to calm down and start rebuilding a new life.

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Block her social media today. NC is not NC if you are looking. We have all done it. Good day to stop eh? It will improve. Some days it will be terrible. Most of us here empathize with you. Keep pushing on.

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