Break No Contact to Resolve Past Regrets?

[emotionalMess]

I rejected her somewhat but not fully then she got a rebound LDR bf in 3 weeks then blocked me on FB.

 

She kept LC by phone, txt and skype after that trying to put me in the Friendzone. During our relationship we never kissed but did as much as one could over social media and had a very strong bond, more that anyone I have ever been with physically.

 

I said my goodbye in person in about 5 min. She called a few days later and said she thought I was going to try and kiss her during my 5 min goodbye. Meaning, she expected it but I didn't do it out of respect of her LDR.

 

She attempted to meet me after the breakup (maybe for that kiss?). I missed the phone call, called her back and she had already left the area she wanted to meet at. Before that day, I told her not to contact me unless she wanted 5 min to say goodbye and I needed time to recover. I asked her if she was calling to meet for those 5 min, she said no but she would txt me. So like an idiot I waited up all night for a text which never came.

 

I was so upset the next day I told her to never contact me again and I went No Contact. That moment was like the point of no return for us. I have been in very LC for 4 months since. I reached out a few times but she rejects me now and I seem to always get hurt one way or another so I keep the NC going.

 

The unresolved part for me was, I never told her why I was so upset that she did not txt. I figured she knew but now I'm not sure if she meant that she was going to text that night or another time. I hate the fact that she does not know why I went NC. I missed my chance for the kiss which never happened. I'm pretty sure we would be together if I went for it.

 

I wanted to break NC to tell her why I was so upset after she did not text and decided to stay away all this time.

 

Am I being a fool by wanting to break no contact over this?

Edited June 11, 2014 by emotionalMess

[Ordinaryday]

I rejected her somewhat but not fully then she got a rebound LDR bf in 3 weeks then blocked me on FB.

 

She kept LC by phone, txt and skype after that trying to put me in the Friendzone. During our relationship we never kissed but did as much as one could over social media.

 

I said my goodbye in person in about 5 min. She called a few days later and said she thought I was going to try and kiss her during my 5 min goodbye. Meaning, she expected it but I didn't do it out of respect of her LDR.

 

She attempted to meet me after the breakup (maybe for that kiss?). I missed the phone call, called her back and she had already left the area she wanted to meet at. I told her not to contact me before unless she wanted 5 min to say goodbye. I asked her if she was calling to meet for those 5 min, she said no but she would txt me. So like an idiot I waited up all night for a text which never came.

 

I was so upset the next day I told her to never contact me again and I went No Contact. That moment was like the point of no return for us. I have been in very LC for 4 months since. I reached out a few times but she rejects me now and I seem to always get hurt one way or another so I keep the NC going.

 

The unresolved part for me was, I never told her why I was so upset that she did not txt. I figured she knew but now I'm not sure if she meant that she was going to text that night or another time. I hate the fact that she does not know why I went NC. I missed my chance for the kiss which never happened. I'm pretty sure we would be together if I went for it.

 

I wanted to break NC to tell her why I was so upset after she did not text and decided to stay away all this time.

 

Am I being a fool by wanting to break no contact over this?

 

sorry but she doesnt want to be with you and the WHY is irrelevant, all that matters is that she doesnt want to be with you - if she wanted to be with you she would.

 

any contact from you will just come across as desperate, needy and maybe a bit creepy. leave her alone. if she wants to communicate with you she will, but it is up to her not you to make that move.

[emotionalMess]

I just regret that she wanted to meet and I missed my chance. And the fact that she is upset over the NC after trying to meet and does not fully know why I went NC.

[Ordinaryday]

I just regret that she wanted to meet and I missed my chance. And the fact that she is upset over the NC after trying to meet and does not fully know why I went NC.

 

she would have wanted to meet to clear the air, relieve her conscience and make sure you are not angry at her, just a breadcrumb designed to relieve her guilt over rejecting you.

 

if she wanted to be with you she would let you know.

 

anything else is irrelevant, please be smart enough to ignore any possible "hi how are you?" type texts, they are designed to relieve her guilt, not to hook up with you.

 

I know this cos I remember one time a girl dumped me, all she could talk about was how horrible she felt doing it and she kept wanting me to reassure her that I was not mad at her - she didnt actually care about breaking my heart she just didnt want to feel guilty about it.

[todreaminblue]

No one should call you a fool , but welcome to the world of love shack, and no contact reigns....smilin

 

in saying that i dont think its wise you break no contact, she isnt interested in your feelings, even though, they are valid feelings you are the one feeling them makes them valid and not foolish we feel for a reason..because feeling apathy believe me is worse than feeling frustrated or hurt.Apathy is far more destructive there is no healing in apathy

 

 

You need to feel what you feel to heal yourself not her, and you dont even have to have that five minutes good bye.......you send it up above

 

 

the only way it is truly goodbye is when you feel it not say it, and your heart just lets go, and you grieve , that's not fun either but its necessary , then you heal with no explanation or understanding in why its a has to be goodbye , just a heart that knows its over.Give your heart a good talking to, say goodbye but you dont have to say it goodbye to her and why, because its your heart that needs to feel its over.

[emotionalMess]

I already broke NC after that. In March I sent a message saying I lot trust and we could not be close friends but in a month I would decide if I wanted to be casual firends, She said she did not have bf anymore but decided after my NC she wanted to be alone. We had one last nice chat then I snooped her FB and found she added male friends while I was blocked and claimed to want to find herself. I assumed she wanted to seek others so I pulled back my offer to be even casual friends and said goodbye again.

 

I broke NC one last time attempting to give what she always asked for to be close friends again after rebuilding trust. She ignored me.

 

So I already am in the creep zone. It feels the lowest of the low.

 

Thanks for setting me straight, it doesn't matter, if she wants me she could have had me.

 

I learned a lesson though on how to not lose my cool like I did in future relationships.

 

That ship has sailed and I must face the regret.

My opinion now is she missed out on someone extra special - Me.

 

My self-pat on the back.

I'm hotter than sh**t right now after working out 7-10 times a week and have a lot of options going forward. Women see me on the street and do double-takes, its a nice feeling. Now I just have to work on the inner me.

[emotionalMess]

You are both right!

 

The hard part is that she lives in my neighborhood and Ive seen her twice recently in commonly visited areas and even driving by. That makes it harder.

 

The cool thing is the last time she saw me couple weeks ago, I had been transformed into an ultra hottie and in designer clothes - tank-top, shorts, muscles bulging the whole bit I'm like one of the hottest men on the planet right now - at least in my mind. I don't really get a boost from it but it was what it was, pretty much the best case scenario if you had to unexpectedly face your ex on the street after NC.. I have no idea what impact this had if any.

 

Can I get a Hooray from the LS people?

 

Actually, once I get the inner me fixed is when I want a real Hooray!

Edited June 11, 2014 by emotionalMess

[Ordinaryday]

I already broke NC after that. In March I sent a message saying I lot trust and we could not be close friends but in a month I would decide if I wanted to be casual firends, She said she did not have bf anymore but decided after my NC she wanted to be alone. We had one last nice chat then I snooped her FB and found she added male friends while I was blocked and claimed to want to find herself. I assumed she wanted to seek others so I pulled back my offer to be even casual friends and said goodbye again.

 

I broke NC one last time attempting to give what she always asked for to be close friends again after rebuilding trust. She ignored me.

 

So I already am in the creep zone. It feels the lowest of the low.

 

Thanks for setting me straight, it doesn't matter, if she wants me she could have had me.

 

I learned a lesson though on how to not lose my cool like I did in future relationships.

 

That ship has sailed and I must face the regret.

My opinion now is she missed out on someone extra special - Me.

 

My self-pat on the back.

I'm hotter than sh**t right now after working out 7-10 times a week and have a lot of options going forward. Women see me on the street and do double-takes, its a nice feeling. Now I just have to work on the inner me.

 

a few years ago I fell in love with a girl who friendzoned me, we were really close and I thought we had something but she told me she felt more of a 'brotherly' love towards me than a romantic love.

 

she said she really wanted to keep chatting to me and associating with me, but just as friends, and she asked me to try. I tried, but then she hooked up with some guy, as she has every right to do, and posted photos of them kissing and stuff on her fb.

 

she was not intentionally trying to hurt me, she just wanted to show her friends her new bf, but seeing this broke my heart and I called her all kinds of names, accused her of leading me on, etc.

 

made her absolutely hate me. I did apologise for it, but our friendship never recovered.

 

I thought about trying again, but then I thought what is the point?? she knows my fb address, phone number, etc. if she wanted to be in touch with me then she would contact me. the best I can do is leave her alone.

[todreaminblue]

I sense a lot of positivity from you, yes you deserve better , she missed out, i have this calm strength today because i am actually worth more than the way people think they can treat me..my heart is full of love for the right people and love for the people who dont see my worth as well , yeah i forgive them still can tell them when they treat me badly and not turn the other cheek all the time, my cheeks are raw from that, doesn't mean i cant tell them they suck calling them gutless , well not so good.. parts of lash and when i control that , i will be steaming ahead to being a beautiful anomaly like a mushroom explosion....smilin large...(a friend said that to me about me being a mushie)

 

i feel a lot more than i have before ,and it is all good i can channel whatever part of me needs to come out to push me forward and away from depression i am finally healing because it doesnt feel ominous or doubtful....., its a shame people only see it when they leave me or i leave them, but that's the way its been with me and i am not aloen in this heaps of people know exes return when you get into another relationship they realize heyi want her back not this duck......I dont go back on what i know is right to do ....

 

 

what you have done now and think and feel now is right for you, the strength you now have is a healing process and you will still have doubts on any given day but fall back to you adn how you think, today remember what you said here and i wish you all the best my friend....deb

[emotionalMess]

Yeah, I deleted my facebook. If I saw something like that I would be devastated. I'm not ready to date but when I do, I will be of clean heart and mind.

[emotionalMess]

Yeah, if I were her and I saw me today, I would be like man I f***ed up big time

LOL. I would be wondering how many hot girls he was going to date. Surely they will be 10's when I am only a 7 (LOL).

 

That is absolutely no B.S. - complete truth.

[todreaminblue]

Yeah, I deleted my facebook. If I saw something like that I would be devastated. I'm not ready to date but when I do, I will be of clean heart and mind.

 

 

you forgot to add it will be new and wonderful....tomorrow is one day closer to wonderful for you.......ok here's a retch bucket ....know it was sweet ......but sometimes we just need to know sweet to handle the sour...its balance...deb