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Ex girlfriend says she is no longer in love with me


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So I talked to my Ex girlfriend yesterday. She is telling me to move on and says that she is no longer in love with me. We were together for almost 9 years. We met when she was 18 ( she is now 27). She says that she has changed and is not the same person I met. She is partying a lot and drinking more than usual. Although I want to move on, its the many years that we were together that keep me wanting to get us back together. Any advise on what to do?...Thanks

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WhatYouWantToHear
Any advise on what to do?

 

Sounds like she already gave you good advice on the subject.

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FredJones80

Loves you but no longer "in love" with you usually means she has found someone else who she now feels "in love" with.

 

"In love" is a chemical brain reaction that happens when you first meet someone, they say it can last between a few months to 2-3 years depending where you read. After that it isn't sustainable and so loving someone becomes a choice by actions.

 

No one is "in love" after 9 years, that is the butterfly feelings, the can't concentrate, the must have that person with me at all times.

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Ditto what Fred said.

Usually someone else.

 

What to do now? No contact, you shouldn't have even spoke to her yesterday because she only told you what we already knew. Don't engage anymore with her, you'll feel a lot better.

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Bumaga vsyo sterpit

Like lastking said,

 

She says that she has changed and is not the same person I met. She is partying a lot and drinking more than usual.

 

:D

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stillafool

I thought this girl called it quits with you in February? You should have never given her another chance. Go strict NC with her and do not try to get her back no matter how HOT she is. There are other pretty girls in this world. She has moved on and you should to.

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Going out with your friends does not make you a bad person. So she's a different person at 27 than she was at 18. Is that really so shocking? Of course she's not the person he met..she's 9 years older.

 

Once again, nothing the OP said makes her a b*tch or a whore.

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April Moon

Hi Op! Did you delete your new girlfriend off of FB? Your story has stuck with me and I have been wondering.

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Hi Op! Did you delete your new girlfriend off of FB? Your story has stuck with me and I have been wondering.

 

 

No....The EX deleted herself from my FB profile after seeing the new girlfriend on FB :)

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Bumaga vsyo sterpit
Going out with your friends does not make you a bad person. So she's a different person at 27 than she was at 18. Is that really so shocking? Of course she's not the person he met..she's 9 years older.

 

Once again, nothing the OP said makes her a b*tch or a whore.

 

When a young girl goes out with her friends it's not to play bingo or go for long walks on the beach. 100 per cent of the time it's to go to bars and nightclubs frequented by single men, drink until they pass out, dance and flirt and grind and laugh with the said single men, etc. Drunk or casual sex is just the next step. This is not the place for any woman in a good relationship to be, and when the urge starts, it's the mother of all red flags. Only one thing is going through the mind of a girl in that environment: "Look how much fun we're having, isn't this the thing to do!" :D

 

I'm not only razzing women here. After all a lot of men do the same -- but lastking didn't, and anyhow men only initiate 30 per cent of breakups.

Edited by Bumaga vsyo sterpit
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April Moon

I don't think that is a fair assumption. Which it what it is ... An assumption. While it's true, that it could be said for some women that is not the case for ALL young women. My friends and I go out to the clubs to go dancing. Even when I was single, I refused to dance with anyone who was not one of my girlfriends. Also, I refused any free drink offers as not to lead anyone on. Now that I'm in a relationship, we have times were we bring our boyfriends out with us. My point is that not all young women are looking for a free drink, grind, and casual sex.

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When a young girl goes out with her friends it's not to play bingo or go for long walks on the beach. 100 per cent of the time it's to go to bars and nightclubs frequented by single men, drink until they pass out, dance and flirt and grind and laugh with the said single men, etc. Drunk or casual sex is just the next step. This is not the place for any woman in a good relationship to be, and when the urge starts, it's the mother of all red flags. Only one thing is going through the mind of a girl in that environment: "Look how much fun we're having, isn't this the thing to do!" :D

 

I'm not only razzing women here. After all a lot of men do the same -- but lastking didn't, and anyhow men only initiate 30 per cent of breakups.

 

 

 

 

 

I have never had a one night stand in my life, and I've been to bars in my life.

 

Try again. If your guy friends go to bars, are they also whores?

 

some of you shouldn't wonder why you are single.

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bubbaganoosh

If you have a new girlfriend, then stop taking phone calls and messages from the old on. She's your ex.

 

Also if she's out boozing and having wild crazy sex and it doesn't matter if it's with a box car full of guys or just one.............she's your ex. Move on and let her go. You have no claims on her and honestly, believe half of what you see and nothing you here.

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Bumaga vsyo sterpit
I have never had a one night stand in my life, and I've been to bars in my life.

 

Try again. If your guy friends go to bars, are they also whores?

 

some of you shouldn't wonder why you are single.

 

It's not necessary for things to escalate all the way -- a girl's deciding to hang out in bars and nightclubs with her friends pretty strongly coincides with the breakdown of the relationship.

 

Few of us will have trouble admitting that when a man starts going to the bar every night, it's a problem.

Yet we we won't say the same for a girl.

 

If my friends were in relationships and persistently went to bars without their girlfriends, their intentions would be pretty clear.

Edited by Bumaga vsyo sterpit
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It's not necessary for things to escalate all the way -- a girl's deciding to hang out in bars and nightclubs with her friends pretty strongly coincides with the breakdown of the relationship.

 

Few of us will have trouble admitting that when a man starts going to the bar every night, it's a problem.

Yet we we won't say the same for a girl.

 

If my friends were in relationships and persistently went to bars without their girlfriends, their intentions would be pretty clear.

 

 

Oh, that's not my point, if I have been happy with my guy doing our thing then suddenly I want to go out drinking all the time, yes that is a problem. I am just saying that just because a girl might go out doesn't mean she wants to have sex with multiple strange men lol.

 

I don't get the last part though, OP's girl isn't in a relationship. She's single.

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to the original poster i am sorry to hear this i to have been through this and my ex told me to move on and got mad when i actually did! im no way over my ex and miss her like crazy but wont have her back! i was with my ex for just short of 13 years! sadly your ex has someone already in mind and she will be working towards that! its a hard long road but you have to move on. everyone is right! she isnt the woman she once was! people do change and you have to move on yourself! i know how you feel and it sucks and its the hardest thing i have ever had to do! feel free to vent on here or pm me if needed! i think alot of people are being harsh on this poster but hey everyone has there own opinions!

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