The killing words Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 She dumped me 2 weeks ago after being engaged. We lived together for 1 month. She said that we are perfect together, but overwhelmed when my kids visit. I have moved out last week but never told her where I live. She keeps asking. I moved all of my stuff out finally on Friday. Its been less than 1 week since I moved. It is now Sunday and she texts me; I found a shirt of yours and hi . She's been texting me and I am not ever the one that initiates it. She calls me more and I don't answer. She was pissed when I took the engagement ring, promise ring and other stuff back. I told he that why keep it if it doesn't mean anything, she said of course they mean something to her. I ended giving them back (no she doesn't need money) . What gives? Link to post Share on other sites
flight E Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 You love this girl that's why you posting. So it may not be easy on you to keep talking to her. She may miss you, love you but she has not said she wants you back. Until she says so and acts on it, it's best you act as if she is dead to you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 why would you give her the rings back??? you should quit trying to placate and please the person who dumped you. just block her number and she can't contact you, voila Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 I wish it were that easy. I gave her the rings out of love and hope. Material things don't matter. I have always been a giver, just not in my nature to not. You sound really hurt by something that happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Dead to me like I shouldn't answer anything that she sends me and just let it go? I have been no contact she contacts me. I was supposed to spend the night before I moved, on the couch of course I was waiting for my place. I didn't come home and she was pissed, called me, texted me the following morning to get my stuff out, said it was better for her. She apologized and said she was sorry because she doesn't know how to act. Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 If the engagement is broken by the bride, the groom keeps the ring. If you break up after you are married, the bride keeps the rings because the promise of marriage has been kept. It has nothing to do with being a giver, it's legally the way it goes. But love makes us crazy sometimes. A decent woman worth anything at all would have handed the ring back to you when she broke the engagement to be honest. I think you should keep no contact, you are doing really good right now! She does not have a right to know where you are or what you are doing anymore.And yes, she should be dead to you until your feelings are more neutral so you can approach things less emotionally. It really helps you get over things. Don't look at her facebook, or call or email. You can block her number and there ya go! May I ask how old your children are? Just trying to get a better idea of the situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 4 son 9 daughter 12 daughter. She likes them alot. They like her. They are great kids not spoiled whiny , very courteous and respectful. She also has a son that is 4. They play great together. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Major breadcrumbs. Remain in NC, her contacing you will pass in time, although it will take a while because you giving her the ring back probably gave her the wrong idea... Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 What do you mean by wrong idea? Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 OK! I was just wondering if they were still really small or a bit older. If she finds your kids overwhelming then maybe this is for the best? I mean, your kids are going to visit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 I love my kids very much. She likes them too. I just think the commitment was too much. She should have said something long ago. Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I love my kids very much. She likes them too. I just think the commitment was too much. She should have said something long ago. I'm really sorry about this, I know it hurts. Maybe you are right and it is a lot of commitment, not sure of her age or if that could be a factor here. She really should have said something sooner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 I just don't understand how she can't just try. It might not work but give it a chance. Ever thing is scary at first. But once you get used to it it's fine. I'm just really hurt but giving her space. I haven't contacted her at all. I wonder if she's thinking about us and misses me? Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I wish it were that easy. I gave her the rings out of love and hope. Material things don't matter. I have always been a giver, just not in my nature to not. You sound really hurt by something that happened? Then make it easy. Get your rings back. She broke up with you so the ring which means commitment isn't holding water. it's a piece of jewelry and she could take the setting and make it into something else and mostly, SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU. Get it, sell it and spend it on your kids where it will have more value. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 That is about all you can do right now is respect her wishes. Keeps your sanity as well. I think we all wonder if we're missed. That's normal. Was anything else off or just what you said? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Nothing she said we were perfect and we we're. Enjoyed spending time together do everything. Whether hiking or just watching tv. She said I will never understand what it meant in the support I gave her. No others involved Link to post Share on other sites
Summerrose2013 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 She's toying with your emotions and because you aren't begging her to get back together, she's not feeling so powerful anymore...keep up nc. I hate it when people break up without warning, like they didn't even TRY to work out problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Yes I am not, I went out for a drink with some friends, had the best time. It was difficult and fun. I thought about her a lot when I would see a beautiful woman walk by, and it also reminded me that there are so many others out there too. One great thing is I got a smile from 2 women LOL that pretty sad that I thought that was great Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Just an update on her txt about finding one of my shirts. I responded 3 hours later and said sorry I was on a hike(which I was) you can keep it. I am in no hurry to get it back. She responded, ok how was the hike? I said it was great!......... Silence after that. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Just an update on her txt about finding one of my shirts. I responded 3 hours later and said sorry I was on a hike(which I was) you can keep it. I am in no hurry to get it back. She responded, ok how was the hike? I said it was great!......... Silence after that. Why are you responding? lol It is so pointless to let her even know what you are doing in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Just an update on her txt about finding one of my shirts. I responded 3 hours later and said sorry I was on a hike(which I was) you can keep it. I am in no hurry to get it back. She responded, ok how was the hike? I said it was great!......... Silence after that. Breadcrumb dude. She was pulling on the leash to see if the dog was still there. Once you responded and she saw there are no hard feelings, she went back to her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Geez, I thought I was doing the right thing by not contacting her and just being plain jane on my response to her. I guess that I shouldn't respond at all then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 I told what I was doing because we used to do that a lot together. It was more of a FU I am moving along just fine without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Nah, by giving her plain jane responses tells her that you're fine with all of this. she gets the impression that you're indifferent to everything that's happened. That there's no hard feelings. You eased her guilt about dumping you. You want her to keep her guilt for a while. You want her to know that her actions and decisions DO hurt. But, the fact is, she hurt you when she dumped you. It hurts and you're ALLOWED to feel hurt. By staying NC, you give her nothing. She has no idea where your head is at. And do you know what? It's none of her business on how you feel. She gave up that right! Link to post Share on other sites
Author The killing words Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Guess that's the only way. Just have to be patient Link to post Share on other sites
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