hestheone66 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I want to present my opinion that after a breakup and unless you have children but sometimes not even then, if it is over for one person, the relationship as a romantic relationship is over. Given that most relationships do break up eventually (statistically it's true) why not look for qualities in partner such as sense of humour compassion and integrity so that a friendship is possible (after healing of course). I've had amicable breakups. (Dumped and dumped) and been friends with exes. At the end of the day if you're honest you often stay in romantic involvement beyond what is healthy because you don't want to lose the qualities that person brings into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
whatdreamsmaycome Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I want to present my opinion that after a breakup and unless you have children but sometimes not even then, if it is over for one person, the relationship as a romantic relationship is over. Given that most relationships do break up eventually (statistically it's true) why not look for qualities in partner such as sense of humour compassion and integrity so that a friendship is possible (after healing of course). I've had amicable breakups. (Dumped and dumped) and been friends with exes. At the end of the day if you're honest you often stay in romantic involvement beyond what is healthy because you don't want to lose the qualities that person brings into your life. I wouldn't mind being friends with exes, and have been with the ones that desired a friendship afterwards. The most perplexing has been my most recent ex, who admittedly has lots of female friends, and still talks to a girl he was just hooking up with 5 years ago. But he didn't want to be my friend because he said it would be too hard and he just wanted to move forward. I didn't understand it... I actually still don't, but whatever. We ended up getting back together for a while, but now it's back to how it was before we even dated. It sucks because we were friends for a year before we dated and it was one of the most amazing friendships (better than the dating relationship, honestly) lol Link to post Share on other sites
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Of all the relationships I've been in over the last 18 years of my life, there are only two I can not call friends. Both by their own choice and doing. Both because they couldn't understand that friendship is not a euphamism for keeping the parts of the relationship you liked, without the responsibility of the relationship itself. Remaining friends after a break up is a lot like getting divorced when you never expected to. You can do and say all the right things - but you have to account for the other persons emotional responsibility and maturity as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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