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Finally ended things with abusive FWB, but I'm seriously obsessed with his ex


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browneyedgirl123

This guy (21 M) and I (22 F) have a VERY complicated relationship. We started off as good friends, and eventually became very close, talking and hanging out for hours.

Eventually, we started kissing and cuddling every night too, basically becoming 'lovers'. The emotional abuse started then--he would insult and criticize me often, tell me how easily manipulated I was, ignore me for days if I did the littlest thing to insult him. We waited a long time until we had sex. I told him I was in love with him, and he said he loved me too, but he couldn't see himself being in a relationship because of how bad his past relationship (4 years ago) with his ex girlfriend ended up being. Apparently they cheated on each other, lied or something like that--he acted like it was really bad.

 

After that we kept hanging out but as the months went by, we became more like FWBs and he told me he strictly saw me as a 'good friend'. I tried to break it off, but months later he contacted me and we just started up again. Meanwhile, even though he claims he has no feelings for me, he is very jealous, possessive and controlling of what other guys I see, and threatens to stop seeing me if he finds out about a lot of other guys.

 

A year since then has gone by with us still being just FWBs, although we talk and cuddle a lot when he comes over so it all confused me. Not to mention the jealousy--he was so possessive of me. I recently decided to break things off for good. I messaged him on Facebook and told him not to contact me again because I was done with all of his games.

 

The problem is...I am literally obsessed with him and his ex from 4 years ago. I know they still text sometimes because I have seen her name in his messages, although I strongly suspect she contacts him first. I know they had sex once while he had been 'seeing' me, and but he never told me about it until recently. I just am obsessed with her and obsessed that he committed to her years ago and not me now. I keep wondering why they still talk even though she apparently screwed him over so much. I wonder what they talk about now, if he still loves her, if he'll ever get back with her...even though we're over now, I'm obsessed with her and him. I stalk her Facebook, Instagram and Twitter everyday, searching for answers.

 

This guy has pretty much emotionally traumatized me with all of the manipulation, games, and control he's used on me, but yet I am still obsessed with why I wasn't 'good enough' to commit to and she was. I know they dated at a different time in his life, but I can't help it. I don't know how to help myself but the obsession is becoming mentally crippling. It's all I can think about and I just want to leave them both behind and live a happy life. Please help.

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